Love Is A Battlefield
by daughter-of-the-heavens
Summary: After Usagi & Mamoru are married, the four Sailor Senshi begin regaining their Silver Millennium memories. Can good come out of remembering something so beautifully tragic? a manga-based senshi X generals story
1. And So It Begins

hello, sailor moon fans. this is my very first fanfiction, but i've been writing for a very long time, so i hope you think the writing's decent at the very least. i love the senshi X generals pairings, but see so few completed stories, which is why i will try very hard to finish mine. i would love to get some constructive criticism (whether or not i am sticking to the characters' personalities and things like that). oh, btw, all characters within are not my own but belong to naoko takeuchi, tokyopop and pioneer videos. and the title of this story comes from the 80's song "Love is a Battlefield" by Pat Benatar which sounded exactly like these pairings. take a look at the lyrics if you can. happy reading.

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"Minako, you really have to get out of this slump. You're depressing everyone. Even Artemis!" Rei grabbed her friend by the shoulders and shook her. Minako merely shrugged and fell effortlessly to sit on the steps to the Hikawa Shrine. Twisting her fingers in the little yellow sun-dress she was wearing, she stared intently at the ground . "Mina-chan!" Rei shouted, trying hard to contain the temper her princess kept scolding her about.

When the senshi of love didn't respond, Rei sighed and mentally readied herself for a long one-way conversation. Rei joined her friend on the steps, setting her broom down behind her and calmly readjusting her miko outfit. Curling her fingers over a perfectly tanned shoulder, she smiled gently, something Rei didn't often do. "Come on, Mina-chan. We're best friends and you can't tell me?"

Minako let out a shudder of a breath, and Rei realized with horror that her friend was crying. And without a sound! When had Minako learned to do that?

Minako didn't even look up when she replied, "When Artemis stopped believing me that it was just PMS." Scrubbing her eyes violently, the usually bubbly girl looked up at Rei. _It's brave of her to meet my eyes_, Rei thought. She knew even her friends were reluctant about confessing things to her. She wasn't the easiest person to talk to.

"So what is it, Mina-chan? I know you, and you don't cry about nothing and everything--like Usagi." She allowed herself a slight humph while keeping her attention on the glum girl beside to her.

"Do you ever feel like something's missing, Rei? Not that something's wrong, but that something's...I don't know—just not there? Since Usa-chan and Mamoru-kun got married two years ago and 'officially' became king and queen, I've been getting little pieces of my Silver Millennium life back," Minako looked pained. "You too right?"

Rei nodded solemnly. She didn't like the memories; they didn't feel like part of her. On the other hand, they filled this jagged gap in her heart--or maybe soul was the better word--but they didn't fill it completely. That was really why she didn't like them. Remembering wasn't fulfilling.

"I can hear her, sometimes," Minako said quietly. Rei gave her a puzzled look, a rare privilege only Minako received.

"Who?" she whispered, something disturbing slithering up the back of her sixth sense.

"My past self."

"What?!" Rei cried, alarmed. "She's not taking you over, right?"

"No, no, no," Minako hurriedly explained, frantically waving the hands that had been preoccupied with twisting her spaghetti straps back and forth. "The more memories that come back, the more she...well...melts into me. Sure there are little personality differences, but the core of the soul is the same," she shrugged. Rei knew she looked unconvinced.

Minako grabbed Rei's hands in her own and fixed the raven-haired miko with a despairing look. "It's not that that's bothering me." She seemed adamant, so Rei let it be. "Most of the time, all she sends me are heart-rending sobs and muffled cries of 'why?' or sometimes 'damn you!' It's got to have something to do with what's missing and it has to be important or I wouldn't be hearing her, right?" There was a long pause. "Rei-chan?"

"So...if you and she haven't completely merged," Rei attempted to phrase this delicately, "Why are you so melancholy lately?"

The senshi of love looked utterly perplexed for a moment, as though there was no reason why she shouldn't be down in the dumps. "I suppose..." she began, a finger resting on her bottom lip. Rei waited patiently; Minako would figure out the right words eventually. Recently, Rei had discovered her patience was increasing; it pleased her greatly. Maybe it was a result of overexposure to Usagi. She mentally chuckled, and then turned back to Venus.

"I suppose it's 'cause I'm," now she stopped to nibble on her lower lip. "What's the right word?" she mumbled. A frustrated groan tumbled from her mouth. Another brief moment of silence passed. "Ah! That's it," she finally cried triumphantly. "I'm grieving with her."

Rei's confusion had not dissipated. "Grieving, Mina-chan? What do you even mean?"

"Well, see, since I only have scraps of memories, everything's a little hazy," Mina shrugged as though that weren't a problem. They both knew it was. But Mina was still speaking, "I do get three words from her--every single time," she added. "The first is always heartbreak," she held up a finger, leaving Rei befuddled as to how calm Minako was being about this whole mess. "The second," finger number two, "is betrayal." Her expression grew somber, one that Rei recognized as the trademark mask of Sailor Venus just before a tough battle. "And the last..." Were those tears pricking at the corners of Minako's eyes? Rei squelched the desire to lean in and check. If she didn't let Mina-chan finish, she'd never get this out of her again. "The last one is..." Minako gulped and averted her eyes, "failure."

Rei couldn't help but gasp. "That means--Beryl! When the princess...and Metallia..." Neither of them wanted to finish the sentence. But this was Minako talking--no, the Venusian princess, who'd been the leader of Princess Serenity's guard. She had failed. Failed. That was a disturbing thought.

"Yes," Minako murmured, carefully examining the stitching of her outfit. "That's exactly what it means. It's that big of a surprise that I'm depressed? With all that stuff?"

"No, not at all. But...what I don't understand is how you can be so calm about it," Rei ran a hand through her long tresses. "I...I know what you're talking about. It happens to me too."

"Wait! What?" Minako shot up from her position. Pointing an accusing finger at Rei, she shouted, "Rei, why didn't you tell me?!"

"Because I thought I was the only one! It would make sense with all my spiritual powers!" Rei screamed in response. Even though she knew she should've told Venus, Mars hated being told she made a mistake! Minako glared at her, a hand settled firmly on her hips, and Rei could almost see a furious Sailor Venus superimposed upon the image of her friend. Suddenly, Rei, looking ashamed, tucked her chin and folded her hands in her lap. "I didn't want to worry you. You have so much on your plate now that Crystal Tokyo's approaching. And it only happens when I'm communing with the Sacred Fire. I thought maybe it was because I have better spiritual awareness that I could hear her. I didn't mean to keep something from you, Venus."

There was a long silence. "It's alright, Mars," the leader of the sailor senshi reached out a hand to her second. "I suppose this means that Mercury--I mean Ami and Makoto will be hearing their past selves soon."

"I really am sorry, Venus. I thought I could figure it out myself, maybe stop the memories from coming back."

"Why don't you want them to come back, Rei-chan?" Minako asked. "I mean...I feel like I _need _to find out what happened. What's the saying?...those who don't learn from history are doomed to reread it?"

"Repeat it, Mina-chan. Repeat it. Those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it. And you have a point. It's probably important, but..." The senshi of war wrapped her arms around herself and looked away. "I hate remembering."

"Rei-chan, why?" Rei knew without looking that her leader was wearing what Usagi had termed Minako's "I am so lost that I have no clue what you're talking about and can't even pretend to understand" look. It was very expressive.

"Because fighting and protecting Usa-chan--that filled my life, satisfied me. I was content to be doing my duty to my princess. And now, with the memories and that missing something, I feel unsatisfied in my duties as senshi of war. My past self is unhappy. So am I." Rei sighed, feeling the weight bearing down on her. Not without a great deal of effort, she pushed the sensation to the back of her mind. "It goes without saying that I don't like being unhappy. I keep thinking if I were to get rid of the memories, I'd stop being unhappy."

"Well that's foolish." Rei knew that musical voice! Ami!

"Ami-chan, how long have you been listening?" There was Ami-chan, coming around the corner of the shrine, a handful of books in her arms. She didn't look very pleased.

"You mean how long have _we_ been listening," added the irate shadow behind Ami.

"Ah, Ami-chan, Mako-chan, we ah...um... Help me here, Rei-chan!" Mina panicked.

The taller senshi, dressed in a pair of comfy jeans, a cream tank top and a stylish pair of hemp sandals, came up behind Ami, put her hand on the senshi of wisdom's shoulder and glared at her comrades.

"When _were _you planning on telling us?" Makoto scowled. "Before Usa-chan and Mamoru-san took the throne?"

"Of course!" Minako shouted, fists clenched. "I've only been having them for just over a month! I wanted to get a handle on things before I told you guys."

"Wait! You've just been having them for a month!?" Rei turned and looked at Mina oddly. "I'm almost two months in!"

Mina suddenly looked abashed. "Ami-chan? Mako-chan? You guys too?"

Makoto coughed and twirled a chocolate strand around her finger. "Two and a half."

They all turned to look at Ami, who was strangely silent--and--Rei noticed--very pink in the face.

"Well, Ames, how 'bout it?" Minako asked, trying to appear nonchalant. With a mental note to teach her leader how to be more convincing, Rei looked closely at Ami. Was she embarrassed or something?

"Yeah, c'mon Ami," even Makoto was curious. Rei simply continued to watch her friend intently. Something was...off about Ami. There simply wasn't a better word for it.

"Ah...well...you see...for me..." the usually succinct girl stuttered. There it was; something was definitely going on.

"Please tell us, Ami," Makoto prodded gently.

"Um...just over three," the flushed girl mumbled.

"Three? Seriously, Ami-chan?" Minako was flabbergasted.

Rei, on the other hand, was pensive. It somehow seemed right that Ami should know first. The senshi of war hadn't the slightest clue _why_ it was Ami should be first. But if they hadn't all started at the same time, there must be significance to that, right? She tucked that useful bit of information away.

Makoto, devoid of her usual tact, commented, "Ami-chan, you're blushing pretty hard. How come?" Poor Ami went red and began mumbling again. Minako looked about ready to join in on the interrogation, so Rei jumped to Ami's rescue.

"Girls, if she's been remembering long before us, it makes sense that she has more memories," Rei explained calmly, one hand out to quiet the love and protection senshi. "The memory that's making her blush is none of our business. I'm sure we're each supposed to remember at a certain time. If Ami tells us anything, she might throw a wrench in the process. A shock like that might...I don't think it would be a good thing."

"Rei-chan's right," Mina sighed. Rei and Ami thanked kami-sama their leader could be rational when she wanted to be. "But the missing thing--everybody has that?"

There were three simultaneous nods around the circle, but Rei noticed that Ami's blush hadn't faded. "Anybody got any clues as to what it's supposed to be?"

"I know," came Ami's small voice.


	2. The Missing Piece

"WHAT?!"

Ami shrank before the circle, which had abruptly turned on her. Not that she wasn't expecting it. Of course they would want to know, and after seeing Minako react to Rei's secrecy, Ami did not want to upset Venus. Athena agreed that it was a wise decision.

_Should we tell them?_ Ami asked her former self.

**Absolutely not. The consequences of such a revelation could be catastrophic. It could damage their fragile spirits. Such results are repairable, but certainly not desirable.** Athena was emphatic, and Ami couldn't help but concur. She realized that it was a bit odd that she felt the need to consult Athena on everything nowadays.

Calmly, after much consideration, Ami raised her head and locked eyes with each of her comrades. "Yes, I'm aware of what is missing. No, I won't tell you; you'll discover it sooner of later in your own memories."

Minako was devastated by the news. Ami understood. It only made sense, considering the story.

**Yes, she would want to know. Her time was brief and tumultuous, exactly as Venus has always enjoyed her trysts. That, of course, is the reason we won't tell her.**

_Yes._

"Is there a reason you can't tell us without being specific?" Rei asked, a bit of desire flaming through her usually flawless mask of calm. Makoto was nodding to Rei's request. Ami understood that the question seemed reasonable enough; the problem lay in the fact that it was all things save reasonable.

"Yes, there is," the senshi of wisdom squared her shoulders and stood firm, fingers firmly clenched around her books. She would defy them because it was in their best interests. After all, even though she knew what they didn't, it hadn't made her happy. She was measurably more miserable than she'd been before she knew. The ache of emptiness was almost unbearable.

_Jikokuten...Zoicite._

"Then mind telling us what it is, Ami-chan, because we'd all like to know why you won't give us a clue!" Makoto was nearly shouting.

**Tell her our reason. Jupiter can be vicious if left unappeased.**

"It won't make it any better, Mako-chan, Mina-chan, Rei-chan," she insisted, fighting back tears she hadn't seen coming. "It...it's almost," she coughed, trying to open a tightened throat, "worse. Knowing what's missing. The ache ceases to be something that can be ignored." Ami sniffed and blinked rapidly a few times. She wasn't fool enough to think they'd missed her almost-tears.

Their expressions weren't any better. Minako appeared frustrated and upset, for herself or Ami, the Mercurian wasn't certain. Rei's expression was quiet but almost despairing. With a glance at Makoto, Ami determined that her friend seemed anxious.

"We have five minutes before Usagi arrives," Ami pointed out, "so we need to make a decision. It won't take long now. Minako, don't worry; even though you should be last, you'll start remembering things that'll give you some hints. We can have a senshi meeting once we've recovered most of our memories. Even I haven't regained all of mine yet. Agreed?"

"Ami-chan, would you stop hogging my job?" Minako whined, and the group was suddenly back to normal. Ami apologized, adjusting her glasses. She'd just behaved like a leader, hadn't she?

**My little Mercurian is growing up,** chuckled Athena. **Very good, Ami.** Ami smiled brightly and hoped the others thought it was because they weren't arguing anymore.


	3. Dinner With The King

"Mamo-chan! Dinner's almost ready," cried a happy Usagi from her place before the stove. She listened quietly for his footsteps coming down the hall, trying to smother the giggles bubbling in her throat.

"Usako, please tell me you didn't make that yourself," Mamoru pleaded, one foot in the kitchen, one out.

"Of course not," Usagi humphed. "This is another casserole from Mako-chan. But if I'd made it, you would have eaten it, right, Mamo-chan? Right?" Standing their in her pink apron with the little bunny on it, brandishing a wooden spoon that was entirely unnecessary for dinner, Usagi hoped she looked at least a bit menacing.

"Of course, my darling Usako," Mamoru smiled, suddenly sweeping her into his arms and planting a sweet kiss on her cheek. Usagi gave a little sigh of delight as the spoon clattered to the floor. "Now what can I do to help you?"

"Plates, please," Usagi chimed, turning back to the oven, hoping her quick reaction was covering how her body shook. That simple kiss could do such things to her! She opened the door a bit, and determined--based, of course, on Makoto's fail-proof Usagi directions--that the casserole was done cooking. She grabbed two beige pot-holders and hoisted the glass dish onto the stove top, nudging the oven door shut with her hip. Reading Makoto's directions from where they were taped on the microwave, Usagi sliced and dished the casserole on Mamo-chan's plates. When she turned to the counter behind her, where they usually ate dinner, she saw he'd put out napkins and silverware and even filled glasses with her favorite sweet tea. Giving him a beaming smile, she slid the plates into place and scooted around to her barstool.

"Ah, delicious as always. We need to send Makoto a lavish present in return for all this food," Mamoru gestured at the half full casserole dish and the three other dishes stacked on the counter. "She's done so much cooking for us, and now that we've been settled for a while, we need to stand on our own two feet."

"Wait, Mamo-chan, wouldn't that be four feet?" Usagi was very confused. Mamoru chuckled and nodded.

"I suppose it would be. Nevertheless, Makoto needs a chance to get started on those dreams of hers. I know she's taking classes at that culinary school, and she can't have much free time," Mamoru noted with a smile, turning his fork over in his fingers.

Usagi took a sip of tea, trying very hard to exercise all the courtly manners Luna had been trying to teach her. According to her instructor, gluttony was not appropriate. Like she didn't know that already! She turned to Mamoru and smiled, "Mako-chan's teaching me while you're at work. I can already make pasta, scrambled eggs, and rice. She's going to teach me how to fry beef and chicken next week." Mamoru looked startled. "She even said they tasted okay!" Usagi proclaimed with extreme delight. She'd always felt poorly that she wasn't cooking for Mamoru like a normal housewife. Before Crystal Tokyo arrived, she decided she wanted to have as normal of a marriage as she could. She just prayed there was enough time left. After all, it had been four years since she'd defeated Galaxia and sent Chaos back into the Cauldron.

"Really?" Usagi noticed he took a minute to hide his surprise. But the joy that followed was definitely real: "That's fantastic, Usako! I always knew you could do whatever you put your mind to."

"Like graduating high school with straight A's?" she teased.

"Yes, just like that," he smiled and covered her free hand with his, playing with her fingers. She loved it when Mamo-chan did that; she had never believed that holding hands could be a sensual experience. The little rush of warmth was a welcome, familiar feeling nowadays. She'd had plenty of time to get used to all the things that made up Mamoru. He abruptly caught her eyes with his, and she felt her blood rush to her cheeks. Would she ever stop feeling like a love-struck schoolgirl around him?

_**Never, **_she and Serenity responded. She craved Mamoru's--Endymion's touch, his love; he completed her in ways she had never dreamed. And it wasn't just how her body melded perfectly into his, leaving no space between them. It was more. It was this comfortable silence at this particular moment that she didn't _have_ to fill with busy chatter. The way her grades had suddenly risen when she saw how intelligent her Mamo-chan was. It was there in the way she could almost feel his hands on her shoulders and his presence at her back when she was arguing with her senshi about what was or wasn't safe for her. He was everything she was not. He fit into her life so seamlessly and then changed it so completely.

Remembering the shuttered expressions of her senshi at the team meeting earlier that afternoon, she sighed heavily.

"Mamo-chan, do you think... I mean... it's just... what we have... do you think the girls will ever find it again? It's so hard to see them so alone when I know I have you to come home to," Usagi's free hand clenched into a fist. "I can't really be completely happy until they can have this too."

"I understand." Two words, just two words and she felt comforted.

"So you think...?" she asked, hoping he had more insights than her.

"I know. They disappeared you know. The four stones that held my shitennou. They've been gone almost four years now. I never set them down, so something must have happened," Mamoru explained. Usagi never remembered being told that.

"Why didn't you tell me, Mamo-chan? Venus would be furious if she found out. After all, the shitennou were evil _this_ time around. Not that she even knows they exist," Usagi remembered.

"I thought I did," he looked surprised then shrugged. "I'm not really concerned, although I do feel bereft without them. I was so used to their council."

"You talked to them?!" Usagi cried. How could he have forgotten to tell her this?

"Yes--I really didn't tell you about this?" She shook her head frantically. "You really don't need to worry, Usako." He slid his left hand up to cup her cheek and rub the line of her cheekbone with his thumb. Immediately, as they both knew she would, she relaxed, leaning into his touch. He slipped the fingers of his other hand through hers. "Their words were always penitent. The pain of betrayal this time around stung them very deeply, not to mention that they remember all the way back into the Silver Millennium, sweetheart. They remember failing to protect me and your senshi. It's one of their greatest regrets. On their honor, they swore that if they ever had the chance to be reborn, they would serve me faithfully until death."

Usagi felt reassured; her Mamo-chan was almost too good to be true. She screwed her face up into a mock pout and told him, "You should have told me."

"I'm sorry. It won't happen again," he replied with a teasing smile and added, in a somber tone, "I promise."

"You think they'll come back?" she asked. Oh kami-sama she hoped so. Her senshi didn't see it yet, but Serenity had reminded her of what they had been, back when they were eight not four. The difference was almost painful, particularly since she knew their true names. It was a honor to know their most closely guarded secret, but their link pained her now. To sense their agony over their missing pieces--it was devastating.

"I believe so. They may even be alive as we speak," Mamoru mused. Usagi was both anxious and pleased at that prospect. She wanted the senshi to be happy, and the shitennou were necessary for that. No one else would do. But would her senshi be willing to accept the shitennou after their failure in one life and then betrayal in the next?

"Usako, my love, will your senshi forgive?" Mamoru—no, Endymion _and_ Mamoru asked. He must truly miss them dearly.

"I can ensure that when they return--if it occurs as you believe it will, my senshi will not kill them. I cannot ensure their forgiveness, but I hope they might be willing to listen. We have quite a challenge on our hands, my prince," Usagi regarded him with steely blue eyes, "It seems we've not done with Beryl's treachery. I hope, for all our sakes that you are right, Endymion, and that their hearts are still open."

"As do I, Serenity, as do I," the dark-haired man replied, standing and drawing his princess near. "But in the meantime, let us glory in what we have found," he whispered, as he bent toward her neck. A soft kiss was settled there as he navigated his way from her pulse up to the tender spot behind her ear. Serenity, Usagi--both were panting as he nipped the sensitive area, then graced it with a gentle lick. Slipping his lips around her earlobe, he sucked and swirled, rewarded with a cry of pleasure.

"Ah! Endymion!" A hand settled on the small of her back, heavy and warm, the other cupping her face once more as he kissed the corner of her mouth.

"Serenity," he whispered over her lips.

"Stop teasing, Taishakuten," she breathed, and pushed her lips to his. That was all it took--his true name. His hand sank back into her hair, untying her buns with the ease of practice, gripping golden locks firmly. A careful tilt of her head and both her arms were around his neck, fiddling with the soft black hair there. He groaned.

"By kami-sama, Selene! You taste so..." He broke off in favor of exploring her mouth.

Serenity joined in eagerly, parting only to whisper, "Bedroom." The prince swung her up into his arms, lips still locked perfectly onto each other and turned down the hallway.


	4. 1 c Arrogance, 1 c Individuality

hey, people. so, maybe you've noticed. I'm not using the typical suzaku-seiryu-byako-genbu names for the four generals. i'm actually using a group of spiritual beings referred to in japanese buddhism as the devas or shitenno for their names. i did my best to match them with suitable names. i did it this way because i thought if i was going to use the commonly accepted true names idea, i needed ones for Serenity and Endymion, and obviously only those two should know each other's true names. the devas/shitenno idea provided an easy name for Endymion and for Serenity i could use Selene. so if you were a bit confused, hopefully you aren't now.

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Makoto finally dragged herself into her bedroom after she'd decided the kitchen couldn't be any cleaner. She'd watered all her plants, put together a new casserole for the happily married couple--she paused momentarily to frown at that thought--why couldn't she find a guy as great as Mamoru?--and dusted every available surface. She'd considered vacuuming, but at midnight, she was fairly certain her neighbors wouldn't be happy. So here she stood, in her pajamas, clutching a pillow and staring apprehensively at her bed.

Bed. Bed meant sleep. Sleep meant dreams. Dreams meant memories. Possibly unhappy memories--from what Ami said. Not good. Makoto sighed. This was no way for a sailor senshi to behave. Angrily, she glared at her bed, stomped over to it, and flopped down on her stripy comforter. In what she knew was a foolish act of defiance, she put her head down by the footboard and casually traced the mint, pink, baby blue, and ivory lines. This wasn't fair. The idea of having intact memories was enticing, thrilling almost, but Ami had implied that the memories themselves didn't fix anything. Stupid memories. Why'd they have to interrupt her usually happy and nonsensical dreams? After all, what was more fun than dreaming about cooking a meal for the prince of France in a kitchen made of...

Seeing the wispy white mists, the senshi of protection cursed. She'd fallen asleep, and from experience, she knew she'd remain that way until the memory was through playing. The realization melted quickly into the first memory.

Princess Serenity was meeting Prince Endymion for the first time. She remembered flanking Mars as the sailor senshi protected their princess against the possible hostile and barbaric Terrans. Queen Serenity had promised that the Terrans were absolute gentlemen, their Prince included. The senshi took her advice but insisted upon escorting their beloved friend in senshi garb. Endymion and his men painted quite a different picture than they'd all been expecting. Endymion, as Serenity later described him, was dashing and charming in his black tunic and cloak with a smile that could charm the moon from the skies. Demeter agreed: he was handsome but not nearly so handsome as that devilishly gorgeous guard two to his left. Sailor Jupiter allowed herself a small gasp. He was taller than her! Kami-sama be blessed--he was _taller _than her! That was no small feat. And then that face--an aristocrat surely--what with those beautiful auburn waves framing that chiseled face. If it weren't for the senshi of war standing before her, Demeter might have considered breaking protocol and jumping him. Before she could hear his name, she was whisked away.

Her next meeting with the handsome man was in her personal gardens; Serenity had one commissioned for each of her precious senshi. She was sitting underneath her favorite oak tree, transplanted straight from her home, napping, when he appeared.

"Ah, Princess. Is there a particular reason you're sitting on the ground rather than the bench?" he questioned, pointing to the stone bench not two feet from where she rested. She didn't like his tone.

"Does my lord have a problem with my choice of seating?" she snapped back, irritated at having been forced to open her eyes. Venus had been drilling them endlessly since the Terrans had arrived. The one time they'd all met on the courts, Endymion's men had proved to be worthy opponents. Needless to say, the Venusian was concerned. Her Jovian friend had similar sentiments. That didn't mean she thought Venus should work them into the ground.

"No, I simply thought it peculiar that the Jovian Princess should chose to sit on the dirty ground when such a bench was provided. I'm certain you weren't taught to sit as you are," he sniped back. How did he manage to turn his nose up at her while looking down scornfully at the same time?! Oh how that man infuriated her!

"I'm in no mood to speak with you, Terran. Just who let you in anyhow? I'll give them a tongue lashing to be certain!" she growled, looking away from him and toward the entrance hoping for a wayward servant to unleash her anger on.

"I let myself in," he replied calmly. Ooh, the nerve! He was so full of himself.

"For your information, Lord Nephrite, these are my private gardens and I'd appreciate it if you'd at least pretend to request permission before barging in so rudely," she huffed, delicately pushing herself on the ground. It was moments like these that she regretted that he was so tall. She actually had to lift her head a bit to glare at him!

"You can cease the show of delicacy, Princess. Everyone in this court knows you're an amazon with no real manners or knowledge of etiquette," he insulted her casually. And then he had the chutzpah to stand there as though he'd merely said it was nice weather they were having!

"You...you...you arrogant bastard!" she lowered her voice to just below a shout. "What with the Golden Kingdom trying to forge an alliance with the Silver Millennium, I'd think you'd try a bit harder to be kind to your hosts. Neither the Queen nor the Princess would appreciate knowing you've spoken to me in such a manner," she finished, dusting the specks of dirt off of her flowing grass-hued dress.

"Forgive me if I speak the truth, Princess Jupiter," he retorted.

"I wish you'd never opened your mouth at all, Lord Nephrite. Your cruel tongue is not welcome here. How did such an insensitive man enter the service of one so kind as Prince Endymion? The injustices of the world never cease," she muttered, and curtsying just a bit, excused herself, "If you're not going to leave, I suppose I will. Good-day, my lord."

She was left with liquid lightning in her veins and fists clenched in anger when the next memory came. It was near the same garden; they stood on a balcony overlooking it. There was a pointed effort to ignore the crowds of people not fifty yards behind them, chattering delightedly. Moonlight dusted the oak leaves before them, pooling on the stepping stones and vanishing into the rich, almost-black dirt. The conversation was, she noted, at the very least civil. That was a step in the right direction; if they'd continued to bicker as they had, she was certain she'd have gone mad.

"So, my dear Jovian Princess," he turned to her with a mocking smile. She braced herself for the worst. "You are perhaps the most brash, outspoken, brazen, unconventional women I've ever met." She stumbled back in shock; hadn't they been making progress? Baffled, she turned to him, and the twinkle in his eyes befuddled her even more. "But you are perhaps the most vivacious, witty, passionate, and genuine lady I've ever had the pleasure of encountering." And then, to her dismay, without permission, he leaned forward and pressed a chaste kiss to her lips. Just as she pulled her fist back to break his jaw, he flinched, and somewhere in that flinch, she recognized that he'd meant it as a compliment. At which, her dismay turned to delight and then back to dismay as she realized she was blushing.

Despite all his shortcomings, he was still rather charming, she conceded. And he obviously found something engaging about her conventional Jovian attitude, which, among the Terran people, was obviously unconventional. Perhaps he was worth a little effort and some bruised pride. Just perhaps.

"My lord, I do believe that was meant to be a compliment?" she asked, just a touch of laughter to her tone. He replied with a simple yes, as though too afraid to say much more. "Then perhaps you ought to work on your delivery," she smiled, a bemused chuckle following. To her delight, after a moment he joined her, his rich laughter chasing after hers as the noise tumbled down into the garden below them. This could be the start of something very...good.


	5. A Heated Rendezvous

Ami sat up in bed with a frustrated groan. "Ugh! This is so...so..stupid," she finished lamely. "Oh dear. Now I'm beginning to sound like Minako or Usagi. Fantastic." Here she was, all tucked in and ready to sleep, having just finished the novel resting on her night-stand. Yet somehow, her mind was still fresh and far from ready to lie idle for a few hours. _Fine, _ Ami decided, _I just won't sleep. I suppose I could journal._

**Good idea, **Athena approved, **Maybe you can remember more of our dream from last night.**

A thought occurred to Ami. _How is it that I can hear you and you claim to be my past self, but you don't remember any more than I do?_

Athena sighed and Ami could almost taste her exasperation. And from prior instances, Ami knew that meant she should have ferreted out the answer herself. **Queen Serenity sealed our memories, remember? So here is how I believe this whole memory recovery process works: I have always been aware of the little things, but I only have a vague, intangible sense of the important things--those things you are gradually remembering. And I feel as though I am roughly a thought or memory ahead of you. I assume that one day our recollections will occur in a completely simultaneous fashion.**

_Oh,_ Ami replied. "I suppose that does make sense." Grabbing her favorite pair of thin-framed reading glasses and a small, black leather-bound book, she began writing.

It was an ordinary day, which meant that Serenity had, per the usual, snuck down to Earth. With a quick promise to Venus that I would bring her back as soon as was humanly possible, I headed after her. She agreed huffily--Venus was the only one of us that still attempted to drag Serenity back to the Moon. The rest of us had agreed that the wisest course was to see that our Princess wasn't harmed during her trips. She was far too stubborn to be dissuaded on the matter. We had recently determined a secluded meeting place. It was there that I was headed. It was raining softly as I broke through Earth's atmosphere. I would arrive only a handful of minutes after Serenity...

Her protective shields vanished as soon as her boots hit the soft grass. A simple touch and her miniaturized computer was on and her transparent screen up. Mercury scanned for Serenity's energy. She should have been right there, but she wasn't. _Did she jumble the coordinates again?_ As the senshi of water began walking, she adjusted the search parameters. Mercury walked into the appointed clearing. Suddenly, her computer chirped. There! A second look at the screen revealed an unexpected energy signature! Quickly, Mercury sought the magical link--the one formed when she told her beloved Princess her true name. The link hummed with tension. _Not good. Hold on, Sere, I'm coming!_ With another brief examination of her screen, she determined it was on of those youma Prince Endymion had mentioned to Serenity. Although she'd never seen one of the rogue monsters, she had files of information courtesy of Lord Zoicite. Unfortunately, to get a good readout on the monster's weak points, Mercury knew she'd have to get closer. And to do that, she'd need cover.

"Mercury Bubbles Blast!" she whispered, glad for once that Venus had been working them into the ground. They'd covered stealth attacking just last week. As the fog blanketed the grove, she ducked and ran to Serenity. Just as she had predicted, Sere was curled up in a ball, using what little star power she could muster to shield herself. The semi-transparent silver globe completely enclosed her, but it appeared to be flickering.

"Mercury!" a nearby voice hissed. The water senshi's head snapped to her right just as she remembered it was his turn to accompany the Prince.

"Zoicite! Sorry I'm late." She offered him a tense half-smile.

"Not a problem, dearest," he grinned, "Do you have a good enough reading from here?" She checked the screen. The youma appeared to have a tiger's torso and hind legs but stood upright like a man. It's upper body was covered in a translucent slime, and it had the face of a human woman with scales where her hair should be. For the moment, it hadn't seen them, but the fog was thinning. The weak spot appeared to be... There! Right beneath it's right breast. The ooze covering its body seemed to be seeping from a small hole right there.

"Can you see the hole just beneath her chest region on her right?"

He squinted. "Yes. That the weak point?" She nodded. "Alright. You distract; I skewer. Sound reasonable?"

She chuckled under her breath, always amused by the way he treated even the most serious of matters. "Of course." Turning to her terrified Princess, Mercury smiled reassuringly. "Not to worry, Serenity. We'll be done in just a moment." She didn't wait to see Sere's reaction.

"Let the game begin," Zoicite whispered, cutting left as he gestured to her with his arm. "Mirror Dragon..." A beautiful, swirling water dragon leapt from his hands, twisting in the rays of sun, perfect miniature landscapes in its scales. "SHATTER!" There flew the scales, each one a deadly blade. The youma shrieked and clutched the new and bloody wounds on her arms and face.

"Why you...! How dare you cut my gorgeous face?!" Mercury suppressed a grimace at that.

"You!" she shouted, and its head spun to face her. "It's a pity he didn't slice the thing off, you hideous wretch. Who would want to look at a filthy creature like you?" It lunged toward her. "Shine Aqua..." She sprang back, hands out-held, "ILLUSION!" The youma gave a piteous whine as her water attack drenched its fur and ripped the slime off its skin, leaving it raw and covered in contusions. So focused was she on making sure to avoid its claws that she almost missed the silver spearhead sliding cleanly into the hole in its chest and out the other side. With a howl, the beat collapsed on the ground and Zoicite drove his spear through its heart. Mercury watched with fascination as the creature crumbled to dust and then vanished entirely with a mere flicker.

Silence filled the now peaceful grove. Mercury let out a heavy sigh, propping herself up against the tree behind her. "Princess, could you please wait for one of us to escort you down to Earth next time?" She heard Serenity squeak a frightened but grateful reply. "Thank you. Now...where is Prince Endymion, Lord Zoicite?"

"On his way. The King called for a last minute audience with his son before leaving on his annual sojourn to the Northern Kingdom. He sent me ahead to ensure the Princess that all was well. Apparently, it wasn't," the copper haired man replied, offering his hand to the shaking Princess.

"Mercury...I..." Serenity stumbled over her words. The Mercurian Princess hurried over to her friend, and deactivating her senshi transformation, began running her hands up and down Serenity's arms, trying to chafe her back to warmth.

"What happened?" Mercury made out a deep baritone from the grove's edges. There was Prince Endymion in all his ceremonial splendor, black and gold, an ornate sword on his hip. "Serenity?" Mercury bit back a command to address her friend as Princess. She hadn't realized their relationship was so...intimate. "Lord Zoicite, report," the stern man commanded, gently taking Serenity from Mercury's hold.

"Youma attack, your Highness, but the Mercurian Princess and I had no trouble dispatching it," Zoicite bowed with his fist over his heart. The Prince looked troubled, but said no more on the matter. "Lord Zoicite, Princess Mercury, would you be kind enough to step out of sight." When she began to speak out, the Prince promised, "Your Princess is safe in my arms. I assure you she will be returned without a scratch." With those words, he turned away from them and looked at the recovering lady in his arms. "Serenity, it's all right. Come now, let's sit down..."

A soft touch on her arm reminded Mercury that she had promised her Princess that unless it involved Serenity's safety, she would not argue with the Prince. She followed Zoicite into a nearby clearing, far enough that it didn't feel like eavesdropping but close enough that they would hear shouting.

"So, darling," he turned to her, catching Mercury unawares. "Now that we've done with the mutant eel-cat, shall we...?"

Mercury suddenly felt abashed. In her rush to follow Serenity, she'd forgotten the chess board they usually employed to busy themselves. "I seem to have forgotten the board..." she began slowly.

With a roguish smile, he slid a hand up her arm and replied, "You certainly have a talent for misunderstanding me, Princess." As her harried mind finally began to settle, she took a moment to look him over. His light gray and sky blue uniform with its white cape lay across his shoulders, miraculously spotless. His copper-fired hair was tossed over his shoulder and bound with a leather thong, his slender face bright with post-combat adrenaline and his blue eyes playful.

"Perhaps I only have a talent for confusing you," she baited. _What is it about this Terran that I find so intriguing? _She was so consumed in studying him that she barely even noticed the light pink dusting her cheeks. Not surprisingly, she felt much less confident than she behaved.

"Ah, but confusion," he murmured, leaning in and subsequently pinning her against a tree, "is fascinating, particularly when the woman is as brilliant as she is confusing." He pressed gentle lips to hers, and she immediately responded, having lost her reluctance and diffidence among the fallen leaves weeks ago. A slender hand slid up around his neck as equally slender fingers played with the soft locks of her cropped blue hair. She leaned forward subconsciously, welcoming his hand as it settled on her waist, hopefully _not _ wrinkling her crisp sky blue gown. What would Serenity say if she found out? This could be a costly move for both kingdoms, but Mercury couldn't bring herself to care.

She found herself panting as he drew back only to lay a line of kisses down the column of her pale neck. "Oh how I've missed you, my little undine. Two weeks is...far...too...long," he murmured between kisses. Mercury found her focus unraveling as his warm lips trailed along her skin. When he parted his lips to breathe on the junction between her neck and shoulder, her breath hitched in return and suddenly the whole length of her body was pressed to his, arms coiled firmly around her. "I suppose I shall have to do that more often if this is your response," he chuckled.

He brought his lips down over the spot in an open mouthed kiss and the warmth of his mouth and the smoothness of his lips and tongue... "Zoicite!" she cried in hushed tones. She couldn't get her breathing straight. _What is he doing to me?_ "What are you doing to me?" she asked, eyes closed, clinging to him.

"That's for you to answer, Mercury," he said as he reached back up to take her lips once more.

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hi, readers. i'd really appreciate some feedback - are scenes like this one i just did between zoicite and mercury any good? how can they be improved? please review or message. thanks!

--daughter of the heavens

**Notes:**

undine a female spirit of nymph inhabiting water

Serenity's lack of magic is a result of the fact that it is her mother and not her who currently wields the Silver Crystal, giving the Princess nothing to fight with

if you didn't catch it, part-way into the journal entry, Ami fell asleep and the memory continued

**True Names So Far...**

Ami - Athena

Zoicite - Jikokuten

Mamoru - Taishakuten

Usagi - Selene

Makoto - Demeter


	6. Channeling Ai

Minako checked her reflection in the full-length mirror on her door before gabbing her keys, slinging her purse over her shoulder, and heading out the door. She was running late--again.

"See ya later, Artemis," she called over her shoulder. "Be back when I can." Down the stairs, out the building's back door, and into the parking garage. "Why am I always late?" Minako muttered to herself, jamming her key into the lock. She slung herself into the seat as quick as possible.

**Because we were never any good at anything,** Aphrodite muttered in the back corners of her mind.

"Shut up!" Minako screamed at her steering wheel. "Just shut up! I don't need to hear you!" With a screech, she backed out of her parking spot and sped from the garage.

Hopefully she at least had a decent shoot ahead of her. Last week Minako had told her agent that she didn't want to model for anything bright or cheery, that she'd rather have dark, gloomy, and mysterious...or seductive if nothing else was available. She wasn't in the right frame of mind to model her favorite kinds of clothes--form-fitting tops, fluttery skirts, clingy jeans--all in bright colors. In fact, her heart hadn't been in it since Aphrodite had begun speaking up.

After a drive with the gas pedal nearly to the floor, Minako pulled into a huge complex and cut tight corners before slamming into a parking spot marked with a "models only" sign. Just ten yards to the entrance. Running full tilt, she burst through the revolving door and, ignoring the receptionist who was firmly insisting she come back and sign in, ran up four flights of stairs to the room her agent had texted her that morning. 473.

Upon opening the doors, she nearly tripped over her own two feet in surprise. The room was painted in an unusual and confining black with gold and red calligraphy accenting it. The only brightening feature of the room was the cream carpet and the wrought iron lamps strategically placed around the room. _This is what you wanted, right? Something new. And not happy. I guess they mean it when they say be careful what you wish for._ Settling herself into a black leather chair, Minako waited to be called into the agency.

As she predicted, she'd been seated not five minutes before her agent opened an equally dark door and said, "Come on in, Aino-san. I just finished ironing out the last details of your contract for the month." Minako swallowed a cry of shocked denial--a month!--and waited for Takahara-san to finish. "This is the absolute opposite end of the spectrum from what you were working last week. I hope it's what you wanted. If not, in a month we'll look for something else."

"Thank you," Minako replied, bowing slightly and following the older woman into the agency. The inside of the agency was much brighter with its ivory colored walls and black and white framed photos. Taking a look at the women sprawled seductively or curled tightly, Minako felt an odd twisting in her gut. Where exactly it was coming from, she wasn't certain. Nowadays, she didn't know if it was her or Aphrodite responding. Maybe she was remembering faster than Ami had predicted.

Takahara-san flung a set of steel doors open and announced, "Aino-san is here, Daisuke-san."

"Fantastic," replied the dark-haired man behind what was almost a wall of tripods, digital SLR cameras, white screens, and massive spotlights. More aggravating than his obviously disinterested tone, he wasn't even looking at her! "You can leave," he added with a rude head jerk towards the door. Minako almost opened her mouth to chew him out for a lack of manners when she remembered that this was her photographer and he could make or break her modeling career. Just as she'd reached that conclusion, she realized she was alone with Daisuke-san; her agent had left on his command. Was she supposed to call him that--Daisuke-san? Daisuke had to be his first name, right?

"Ah..."

"Go ahead and call me Daisuke-san, Aino-san," he murmured, eyes fixed on one of the cameras, adjusting its settings. "Everyone else does."

"Daisuke-san, pardon me if I should already know this, but what should I be doing about make-up and hair? Is there somewhere I should go?" Minako asked, hands clutched firmly on her bag.

"Oh no no no," he murmured, waving his hand dramatically in the air. He still hadn't looked up. "Around that corner in the dressing room," he pointed with the same hand, "Is a set of products from a company we have a contract with. It's an European company, I think--Sephora's the name. Anyway, just use what you like; I'm sure you know what looks good on you. "Hidden Ink" prefers that our models are themselves on camera, not starved, painted, airbrushed fakes. Authentic emotion--that's our selling point. There's a rack of numbered outfits in that same room. Jump into number one, and we'll get started. Go on, scuttle," he waved again, and Minako briskly headed toward the indicated corner.

_Well he's..._

**Eccentric**,__offered Aphrodite. **Eccentric but manageable. After all, we're the goddess of love. And love knows-**

_All emotions,_ Minako grinned, feeling enthusiastic for the first time in weeks. She pushed aside the black velour curtain to step into her dressing room. There on the vanity was a shocking number of cosmetics. Tossing her purse and keys on the plush chair in the corner, she took a seat on the little black stool and began sorting through her possibilities. One alabaster mineral powder, charcoal mascara, cloudy eye-shadow, and clear lip gloss later, Minako was feeling somewhat confident. She loosened her hair, untying the slender red ribbon she'd swapped the wide, eye-catching relic from high school for. A few brush strokes and she was pulling on the tight blue jeans slung over hanger number one.

The matching spaghetti-strap top was pitch black with a swath of amber lace beneath the bust. Minako studied it intently: it wasn't sexy like she'd expected; rather, it was a combination of jaded youth in the lace and disillusionment in the coloration. _How much do you figure it costs? _she wondered. It would make an amazing addition to her wardrobe. **Focus, Minako. There's a photographer waiting. If you do well here, we might get to take it home. **Shaking her head clear, the senshi of love noticed there was a set of ribbons marked number one, but she hadn't the slightest clue where they were supposed to go. There were white-gold bands attached to the middle--necklaces?--no, that didn't make sense; there were two. Delicately shoving her feet into the black velvet flats with a little number one stuck inside, she grabbed the ribbons and headed out.

"Daisuke-san, I'm ready," she announced, stepping up onto the black-metal stage. He _finally_ looked up, and scanned her from head to foot and back up.

"It suits you," he commented, and although it didn't seem like much of a compliment, Minako took it anyway. "Ah, you didn't know what to do with the ribbons. Come here," he motioned. She jumped casually off the stage and handed them to him. "Hands." The rings went onto her middle fingers and the ribbons wove up her arms like the ribbons of a ballerina's shoes. Minako would know; she'd wanted to be one when she was little. The room was so silent it nearly drove her crazy, so she decided to ask the question that had been bugging her since she'd walked in.

"Aren't there usually more people in on a shoot? Like a light crew, more cameramen, a director, and so on?" she inquired. He gave her that look with the single raised eyebrow.

"Too many cooks spoil the broth," he replied. "Too many people watching, trying to be helpful, and suddenly you're tense, I'm irritated, and the shoot takes six hours instead of the necessary three or four," he finished adamantly. "One photographer for one model, sometimes two."

"Oh," Minako said, unsure if she'd made a misstep. He seemed offended. _Kami-sama, please no. I need this job._

"Alright, one last touch." He whipped out a bottle of washable ink and an extremely thin-tipped brush. "Your symbol of choice?"

Without even a thought, she blurted, "Heart."

He seemed a little dubious about the cliché symbol but said no more. "Chin up, please." Minako obeyed, curious. He quickly wet the brush, and cool ink was smeared on the hollow of her throat. And then there were little flourishes, she believed. From some unknown location, a mirror appeared, angled at her new decoration. "Satisfactory?" She nodded, catching one last glimpse of the entwined heart nestled just above her collar bone. "Back on the stage, please, Aino-san."

A leap worthy of her senshi form settled her back on the stage. She turned to face her new boss.

"Channel the outfit please, Aino-san," he commanded, angling several cameras toward her and readjusting one of the mammoth lamps.

With a deep sigh, she recalled the depression Rei was so concerned about and tried to reenact it. Feet braced shoulder width apart, arms wrapped around herself, Minako let her hair sweep part-way over her face, careful not to obscure her temporary tattoo. "Hold on," she murmured, knowing that Daisuke-san would wait until she was ready if he truly wanted sincerity. It was too stiff, but this was what she was going for. Somehow, it just wasn't coming out right. _Aphrodite? Help?! _she called to her sulking self. **Let me in then,**__the melancholy woman demanded.

Wait? She'd been keeping her out? **Yes!**__Aphrodite returned. _Come in then,_ Minako invited. Suddenly, her left hand was warm. Were the two souls doing something like...holding hands? Minako was mystified, but let the new presence guide her movements. Her right hand slid up to clutch her left shoulder and her left brushed the bottom of her inked heart. Peering up through shuttered eyes, she looked off to the left of Daisuke-san.

"Go," she murmured. He began pressing buttons, and a barrage of flashes went off. She paid it no mind, preoccupied by the jumbled images and snippets of phrases tumbling around in her head.

_**Where? Where are you?**_

_Who?_

**Love, where...left...you wouldn't...would you?**

Worry. Concern. Creeping chills. Confusion. Surging insides. Hands at her sides, eyes downcast, blonde locks sweeping across her face.

**Why...promised...swore...do this!...me!...about me! BASTARD!**

Fury. Roiling indignation. Flooding heat. Raw, untamed power. Curled, clenched fist, its pair gripping her hip, chin jutting out.

**Hands...sweet...warm...secret...mustn't...mine!**

Cradled, enveloped, worshiped. Hands clutched at the chest, hair swept to frame her 'heart.'

**Where? Where are you? Come back...need...lone...drown...**_**WHERE!?**_

Knees bruising from the fall, legs splayed, falling tears. Aching...aching...a hand to hold her heart within its mortal shell. _Where are you?_

"By kami-sama, Aino-san, that was spectacular!" Daisuke cried, and Minako came back to herself.

"Really?" she asked, wiping away tears, trying to shove the emergent ache back to the corner she'd assigned it.

"Really," he reassured her, looking ecstatic. "You know what--it's been two hours." Minako nearly fainted at that. She'd been posing for two hours already?! How was that possible?! "How about we call it a day since it's your first?"

"That would be wonderful," Minako agreed, having recently discovered that her legs felt like noodles. "As would a hand up," she added, blushing.

"Ah, of course," Daisuke ran over and offered her a hand. "So..."Hidden Ink" has a habit of naming its models. Based on your symbol--which you'll be keeping for the rest of your contract--I'd like to call you Ai. Is that acceptable?" he asked, adjusting his glasses.

_Ai? Love?_ _**Yes.**_"Perfect, thanks. I think I'll go change back into my things now." Minako turned for the dressing room and took baby steps until she was inside. Collapsing on the chair, ignoring the purse that was getting crushed beneath her, she set to wondering. _What happened out there?_


	7. An Evening Confrontation

please, people, review! i'm begging you. i thrive on reviews and i only have one--thank you, reginastar! so this scene was a little harder to write and i'm not sure if i hit on a mature usagi or not. please tell me how i did.

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As her change clinked into the cabbie's hand, Usagi snapped her purse shut. _I'm on time. Thank goodness,_ she thought, walking across the street to the restaurant. This was supposed to be a senshi celebration for Minako's new modeling job, but unfortunately, it was just going to be her, Rei, and Minako. _Oh well._

The pavement was a bit wet from the late afternoon showers, so Usagi had to watch her step as she crossed the asphalt road. "Ooh, puddle!" she whined. Now her toes were wet. Scampering inside the little Italian bistro, Usagi stepped right up to the hostess. "Reservation for Chiba Usagi."

"How many in your party?" the older woman asked in a monotone, checking off her name on the list.

"Three."

"Right this way, Chiba-san," the woman turned and seamlessly grabbed three menus while cutting a sharp corner. Usagi followed quickly, keeping her purse close so as not to knock into the other patrons. The dimly lit corner table the hostess led her to, spread with an off-white table cloth and pewter candlesticks was perfect.

Usagi smiled, and sitting, gently smoothed out the ivory lace dress Rei had made for her. She absolutely adored the warm pink trim; she'd tell Rei when the temperamental woman arrived. If anyone knew her princess, it was Rei.

"Ma'am?" asked a bowing man in a neat white button up shirt and apron. Pushing her purse underneath the fine wooden chair, she turned to the waiter.

"I'd like a bottle of merlot and three glasses, please. I'm waiting on two friends." She chuckled slightly beneath a hand when the young man stammered and hurried away. _Those lessons with Luna must be doing wonders. _**I believe so, **Serenity chimed. **Look! Here come Aphrodite and Hecate.**

Usagi watched as two of her favorite people came down the aisle to sit on either side of her. She was only mildly aware of the amount of attention their corner table was receiving. Candlelight shimmered off Minako's light burgundy and cream little number, and, to her surprise, Rei wore a matching dress but violet instead of burgundy.

"Well, two of the most fashionable ladies in Tokyo, and they show up wearing the same dress," she grinned.

"It was intentional," Rei huffed before realizing Usagi meant it as a joke. Before Rei could get out an indignant retort, the wine arrived. Three spotless glasses and a dark bottle. The waiter silently poured three half-glasses for Usagi and her friends. The blonde tried very hard to smother her giggles at the way his hands shook. Was he new? Seizing her glass, she mentally declared, _Let the party begin._

"Before you chew me out, Rei-chan, let's have a toast. To _Ai_," she raised and clinked her glass with her comrades. "Mina-chan, Mamo-chan spotted you on one of the newsstands. You do know you're on cover of "Tattoo," right?!"

Minako blushed and fiddled with the edge of her linen napkin. "Yes."

"So, Minako, I'm dying to know. How'd you end up modeling for "Hidden Ink"?" Usagi gushed. She was so proud of the senshi of love. Serenity and she hadn't seen that sultry side of Aphrodite since the Silver Millennium.

"Yeah, Mina-chan, how?" Rei prodded, reaching across the table to poke her friend.

"I told Takahara-san that I wanted to model the other end of the spectrum. She got me in with "Hidden Ink". I was kinda reluctant at first; it totally wasn't what I was expecting. But now I have a contract for the rest of the month, and hopefully, a lot more after that," Minako took a hefty sip from her glass.

"Why the other end?" Usagi asked, but it wasn't as though she didn't already know. Her memories had been intact from the very moment they reappeared on Earth after Galaxia. Having that link reopened was more painful than she could have imagined. Her senshi were hurting and she with them. _Why must they suffer, Sere? I thought we were supposed to find happiness in this life. I know mother meant it not only for you and I. Where are the shitennou? _**Coming,** Serenity responded confidently, **You've noticed the increased hum in our link with Endymion, correct? I believe they've been back for a while. It's just a matter of time before they seek out their Prince and then their lovers.**

"Well..." Usagi noted Minako's visible gulp. Thankful for Luna's tips on reading body language, she didn't miss the discreet look the two senshi exchanged in front of her. "I just felt like it is all. I was getting tired of trying to stay a teenager I guess. After all, I'm twenty-two. It was time to grow up."

**Liar,** Serenity scolded. **We really have to get them to stop treating you like a child, Usagi. This is getting ridiculous.**

Usagi sighed, setting her wineglass down on the table and turned to Rei. "Before we get into the nitty-gritty, I just wanted to tell you how much I love this dress, Rei. It's gorgeous. Mamo-chan sends his compliments as well; I almost didn't get out the door," she smiled fondly at the memory. "And Minako, congrats. I'm so proud of you for making your dreams come true before, well, you know..." With a few therapeutic, deep breaths, the Moon Princess rested her elbows on the table and propped her head on her fists. "That said... both of you, stop treating me like a little child who doesn't have to know what's going on," she finished, intently studying the flickering flames of their candles.

"Wha-whatever do you mean, Usagi?" Rei scrambled as Minako hurriedly replied, "Yeah, what's up Usa?"

Now insulted, she rubbed her temples fiercely. "Do you think that somehow I don't remember everything?"

"Ah...no?" Minako looked at her confusedly.

"Oh come on, girls," Usagi threw her hands up without raising her voice. **Control,** Serenity reminded. She grabbed Minako's upper arm and leaning in, whispered, "I'm not blind, Aphrodite," in a tone too soft for Mars to hear. Mina's expression immediately went to shell-shocked. Rei looked genuinely abashed, having probably figured out what was going on already. "Come here, Rei." Half leaning out of her chair, Usagi gave the fire senshi a hug. "My memories are anything but incomplete, Hecate," she quickly murmured by her ear.

With a frown, she leaned back and rested her chin upon her interlocked fingers. "What I don't get is why you won't tell me anything. We're friends, aren't we? I'd tell you guys if anything was wrong--you know I would. So why are you keeping things from me?" she pleaded. _It hurts to know they don't trust me._

Rei was stunned and Minako was...flabbergasted? "Come on. Talk to me," she added forlornly.

"We didn't mean to--"

"No, we did, but we thought--"

"We didn't want to worry you," they finished in unison.

"Too late," Usagi muttered. "The link's been open since just after Galaxia. You think that giving me your true names was just a gesture of loyalty? Every time you cry, Mina-chan, I want to hold you and promise it will be alright. Every time you feel like the world's collapsing on you, Rei, I want to grab you by the hand and help you hold it up with willpower alone," she explained as calmly as she could. And calm didn't come easy to her, not without Mamo-chan at her side. "But I can't do any of those things if I'm not invited," she blinked hard. _Crying in public is unbecoming of a future queen. Crying in public is unbecoming of a future queen, _she chanted Luna's words like a mantra.

Her friends looked appalled as the waiter bravely strode up to the table. He'd been waiting for a good time to approach the women who were so obviously in a serious conversation, but Usagi knew that once the floodgates were open, there wouldn't be a good time.

"Hello," she turned toward him with a sparkling smile. "All three of us will have the house special. Thanks." A neatly manicured hand offered him the untouched menus. He closed his gaping mouth and strode back toward the kitchen. "Now, where were we?" she turned back to her senshi with a half-hearted smile.

"I'm so sorry, Usa-chan," Minako reached for her friend's hands. "I just...apparently I'm the most recent of us four in the whole remembering thing. I wanted time to sort things out, but it just keeps getting more complicated," Minako's fingers closed around hers.

"I know, Mina-chan, but I want to hear your incoherent ramblings anyway," she smiled brightly. _Message received. Thank kami-sama! Return quickly shitennou._The twin minds gave a mental nod at that.

"I'm sorry, Usagi," Rei mumbled, eyes fixed on her lap.

"If I leave you alone too long, you'll just brood, Rei-chan. And kami-sama knows you're moody enough," she teased, poking her friend in the arm. "It's all forgiven, girls. I just wanted you to know that you're wasting your effort trying to be secretive. I already know what's up, and I want to be able to help. Even if you're all remembering at different times you girls can still call me and we can go have tea or something. I just hate being out of the loop, even when I'm not," Usagi shrugged. _Please, please let this fix the problem._

"I'll call, I promise, Usa," Rei insisted firmly. Usagi believed her; Rei was always honest with her.

"And you, Mina-chan?"

"I'll try...That's about all I can promise, Usa-chan," Mina shrugged ruefully, "I'm so used to being on my own, even after this many years following you, that baring the most wounded parts of my heart is...I mean--"

"It's okay, Minako. I understand," Usagi interrupted, laying a comforting hand across Minako's and squeezing. "Even the goddess of love can have trust issues," she smiled. "But I know that if you need me, you'll come." With a concentrated effort, she sent warm tendrils of her Silver Crystal magic down their links. _All I have ever wanted to do is be there for them, Sere. They've been there for me through everything, despite everything. It's 'cause of them that we have Mamoru--that we have Endymion._

**I know, Usagi, I know. And I think they do as well. Kami-sama willing, we will be able to help them.**

An hour of laughter later, they parted ways, Minako and Rei in Minako's car and Usagi by cab. Sitting on the ratty seat peering on the window, Usagi looked up at the stars.

_Crystal Tokyo is supposed to be the epitome of happiness. I swear to you, girls--before we arrive there, I will do everything in my power, as Moon Princess, as Sailor Moon, but most importantly as Chiba Usagi, to get you the happiness you deserve._

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**True Names so far...**

Usagi - Selene

Mamoru - Taishakuten

Ami - Athena

Zoicite - Jikokuten

Makoto - Demeter

Minako - Aphrodite

Rei - Hecate


	8. Tension Causes Friction

Rei slumped in the scalding hot bath her grandfather had made for her. Jasmine bath salts soothed her frayed nerves. _How did I not consider that Usa already knew everything, even the things I don't remember? I feel like a complete idiot._ She sighed, twirling her fingers in the water. _Hecate?_ Her other self did not reply. She wanted to scream in frustration. How was it that Minako was hearing her past self and yet Hecate wouldn't talk to her?! It was driving her insane. She had so many questions she wanted to ask the fire Princess, like why she thought of Ami every time she handled a copper item in the temple, or why clear, starry skies reminded her of Makoto more than a chaotic thunderstorm.

**That's exactly why I'm not speaking to you,** Hecate huffed from her hiding place.

_Bitch! _ Rei hissed. _It's not fair! You know what unanswered questions do to me!_

**Calm yourself, Rei. I'm not telling you because the fire roars painfully in my ears when I even consider it. Do you somehow think this pleases me any more than you?**

Rei was not deterred. _Can't you just induce a dream or a memory? I know I don't have to be asleep for it to happen, so...ugh!_

**No, I cannot! It's not as though I remember much more than you do! If you're that determined, why not try meditating? No one said we needed the Sacred Fires to do it. Brat.**

Rei swallowed foul words and laid her hands on the edge of the tub. Holding herself as still as possible, she closed her eyes and began breathing in and out slowly. _And right about here is where Minako would ask if we've been taking Lamaze classes and who on earth knocked us up,_ Rei muttered sarcastically to Hecate.

**Hush,** responded the testy woman. Her mental picture of Hecate was a fiery-haired woman kneeling much like Rei did before the Great Fire, eyes closed and palms flat on her thighs. **I will focus our Silver Millennium powers--powers you've not regained, and perhaps that will help.** Rei nodded her appreciation and continued. In and out. In and out. In and...

Stance spread, eyes flaming, and power fluctuating, the fire senshi stared down the Prince of Earth. He met her gaze equally, as though acknowledging both her power and her desire to protect Serenity.

"Forgive us if we offend, Prince Endymion," explained a steely Venus on her left, "but we have been taught to always be prepared, and this is such an unpredicted move on the part of the Earth that there is considerable doubt as to your intentions."

"I am not at all offended, Lady Venus," Endymion bowed to the group gracefully, his four men kneeling behind him. Rei perused the line--these were the Terran shitennou, the crown princes of the four lower kingdoms. Each was dressed in a versatile light gray uniform trimmed in varying colors and draped with a white cape pinned by gold brooches at the shoulders. No weapons were visible, but she knew better than to be fooled by that. Those with true power could conjure such things from thin air, and from the manner in which her senses were thrumming throughout her body, these men were _not_ mere soldiers. Each had strong magical energies, Mars noted.

"It was certain that the moment I announced my intentions, there would be speculation about them. But I do beseech you to give me the benefit of the doubt. After all," and Mars was surprised to see a charming smile, "I came with a mere guard of four when his Majesty my father attempted to send a quarter of the Terran Army."

"Once more, your highness, please forgive if I inform my leader that these are no 'mere' guard," Mars forced her glare to dissipate as she addressed the Crown Prince of Earth. Venus nodded in her peripheral vision, a silent thanks.

"Of course. I would be negligent to leave Earth without bringing my shitennou with me. My father would certainly send the entire army after me, certain that the evil Lunarians had slain me in my sleep," he laughed heartily, "My father has certain misconceptions about your people that I do not share, Princess," he smiled gently. An irate Mars was certain he was addressing Princess Serenity, and his next words confirmed her suspicions. "Is there even the slightest possibility that I might speak with Princess Serenity, Lady Venus, and not her guard? After all, it is her that I came to meet."

Venus did not speak, as though considering the notion, and Mars wanted to turn and flatten her leader for even considering it, but she remained silent. Trust in her leader's judgment was what she needed to display before these Terrans, not the frequent spats she and Venus had. The quiet, awkward silence drug on, and Prince Endymion sighed.

"How about a show of trust first, then?" With those words, his men immediately placed their hands over the edge of their uniforms and pulled. Their gray uniforms immediately faded to the garb of high ranked courtiers--flowing tunics, breeches, and polished boots. Not a weapon in sight, and Mars found herself believing they bore none beneath those clothes. Endymion remained in his gold and black ceremonial outfit and as he bore no armor, slipped his belt from his waist with the sword attached, and laid it on the ground. "Satisfactory, Lady Venus?"

Venus nodded, and clasping her hands at her chest, returned to the white dress she'd been wearing that morning. Mars, Mercury, and Jupiter followed suit. Queen Serenity had insisted they wear her colors today, not their traditional royal attire. As Venus stepped to her left, Mars stepped to her right, unveiling their Princess.

"Crown Princess Serenity, heir to the throne of the Silver Millennium," Serenity murmured in her silvery tones, offering him a polite curtsy. "It's a pleasure to finally meet the man I've heard so much about, Prince Endymion."

"The pleasure is all mine, Princess," he replied, sinking to one knee as she offered him her hand. Mars grudgingly admitted that he had made not even one breach of decorum yet, let alone identified himself as a threat to Serenity.

"Custom requires that I introduce the ladies of my court," Serenity began. "These are the crown princesses of Mercury..." she paused to allow Mercury to curtsy demurely, "Venus..." The Venusian Princess curtsied with all her sinuous, alluring grace, and Mars inwardly snorted, "Mars..." She swept a curtsy befitting a fellow royal, crimson hair slipping over her shoulders. "And Jupiter." Mars heard a smothered gasp from one of the Terrans. Ah, so they didn't know that the sailor senshi were also the princesses of the Silver Millennium planets. She smiled smugly at that.

"I shall return the courtesy, your highness," Prince Endymion gestured to the men behind him. "My personal guard the shitennou, much like your sailor senshi, is composed of the crown princes of Earth's four lower kingdoms. Prince Kunzite of the Northern Kingdom," the silvery blond man cut an impressive and solemn figure. He must be the leader, like Venus. "Prince Jadeite of the Southern Kingdom." Mars blood boiled when she noticed the handsome, golden-haired man was smiling cockily--and at her! She was so focused on him she almost missed the last two introductions--the auburn haired man from the Western Kingdom was called Nephrite and the copper haired general from the Eastern Kingdom went by Zoicite.

Her focus faltered when she saw him mouth her name and flare his magic enough to send chills down her spine. Hecate fought back a scowl and the urge to rise to his challenge, but she was chafing at the bit of etiquette. She wanted to crush him, and she wanted to do it _now_. At her side she could hear the Princess still talking to the Prince, so she was surprised when cool silver magic flooded their link, settling in her shoulders like a comforting pair of hands. _Be silent, Hecate. I will see if there might be the possibility of a sparring match between the two guards. Then and only then, will I allow you to trample him,_ Serenity's voice smiled. That didn't stop Mars from wanting to leap across the short distance and throttle him. As though reading her mind, his small smile turned into a smirk. Ooh, she would get him.

Rei woke, panting in the now tepid water. _Jadeite...? You mean Beryl's Jadeite? The two can't possibly be the same person...can they?...Hecate?_

**It does seem odd...perhaps they too were reincarnated in this life but fell under Metallia's control before they were made aware of their powers or their Prince. After all, it took you awhile to discover your powers as a sailor senshi and find Serenity.**

It was logical; she admitted that much, but Rei didn't like the sound of it. It shouldn't be possible for Endymion's shitennou to be so easily turned against their Prince and her Princess.

**If you're so worried, call Serenity. She did say she'd be happy to talk.** Rei agreed; she'd call Usa in the morning after she'd slept for a while. Dragging herself out of the tub, Rei grabbed a peach towel and dried off before wrapping herself in her robe and walking down the hall to her room. One tiny purple camisole and a pair of red shorts later, the fire senshi was tucking herself into bed. As her wet hair hit the pillow, she remembered and groaning, grabbed the comb off her bedside table. Ten minutes later, with her luscious violet hair combed and braided, Rei sank into her mattress and fell soundly asleep.

_Which was perhaps, not the soundest idea,_ Rei concluded as she wandered into what was markedly another dream-memory. Churned up dust dulled the luster of her red heels as she stood at the edge of the Lunarian practice grounds. She could see glimmers of Venus and Lord Kunzite as their swords clashed. Maybe she would have been able to hear them were it not for the roiling thunderclouds crowding the sky above the field; Jupiter was a particularly aggressive fighter. Not that Mars wasn't. But here she stood, getting rustier by the second because the blasted, blonde son-of-a-bitch refused to fight. For kami-sama's sake, even Mercury and Lord Zoicite were facing off, and Mercury only set foot on the grounds when Venus demanded it!! How was this fair!? She resisted the urge to stamp her foot like a small child. Not only would it shame Serenity, but it would draw the barbs of the barbarian lounging in the cool shade not two strides from her.

He had long since pushed her past the limits of her patience. She would try one more time, and then maybe she would singe his gorgeous hair, just to quiet her raging bloodlust.

"My Lord Jadeite," she began calmly, albeit scornfully. "Is there a particular reason you choose not to join your brethren? Are you a coward or merely lazy?" To her great satisfaction, she kept her eyes forward and her voice flat. Not one trace of her temper shone through.

"Impatient, much, Lady Mars?" he grinned in her peripheral vision, running his hands through his hair. The man was obsessed with it! She suppressed a growl.

"No, Lord Jadeite," she ground out through a tight jaw. "It is merely that I wish to join my sisters, and without an opponent of my own, I would find myself with nothing to do."

"Is there a particular reason you can't ask me to join you nicely?" he baited, examining his cuticles.

"It seems my lord's memory fails him. I did ask politely--the very first time, if you would recall," she turned on him, fastening him with a glare.

"Ah but you didn't really mean it. Forced pleasantry is no pleasantry at all," he quipped.

Rei took a deep breath and settling into her meditative stance, reached out for her link with Serenity.

_Princess!_

_Yes, Hecate?_ came the startled reply.

_Lord Jadeite refuses to join in the mock battle unless I ask nicely. Apparently, the cur thinks my kindness is unsatisfactory._

_Oh, Hecate,_ the voice chuckled. _He will respond in that fashion every single time if you keep pestering him. The chance of your request being satisfactory is about as likely as the Earth suddenly beginning to orbit the Moon! Challenge him as a fellow warrior. Appeal to his honor--no, do not insult it. I can tell you're considering it, darling._

_Sere, that's never going to work!_

_You won't know until you try. _ The Princess' words came with a mental smile.

_Fine! _ Hecate snapped. Turning back to the infuriating man, she bowed like a formal warrior.

"Lord Jadeite, it would greatly please me if you would join me in a mock battle. For the sake of the battle alone," she added smoothly. He did not look dissuaded from his current response. "Please," she finished, trying her utmost not to sound like a whiny child.

In seconds he was on his feet, brushing the dust off his uniform. "The last word was all you needed," he smirked. "And now that we're done with that lesson, let's begin this one."

With a graceful skip and leap, Mars settled on the practice grounds, her magic roaring in her ears. "Let's play," she teased, flicking her unbound crimson tresses over her shoulder, "Fire Soul!" A blazing ball flew from her hands, striking him head on. He stumbled back a few feet, barely fazed.

"Well, who would have guessed? This could actually be fun," he muttered. A flick of his hands and a silvery glaive, thicker and weightier than Saturn's was rumored to be, winked into being. The weapon held crosswise across his torso, he charged. "Sacred Phoenix..." the silver blade was suddenly consumed with white and red flames. "Blaze!" The blade fell and a shrieking, majestic bird composed of searing flame was streaking toward her. She dove and rolled, missing his strike by inches, the very tips of her hair sizzling from the raw heat.

"Fascinating," she murmured from her crouch, and the corner of his mouth twitched upward in a half-smile, glaive blade resting against his boot.

"That's quite the compliment coming from the mistress of fire herself. We will have to do this again. After I've wiped the floor with you that is," he called across the field.

"Agreed," she returned and struck out anew. "Burning Mandala!"

Rei remembered no more of the battle, only that Venus and Lord Kunzite had been forced to separate them when the match had gone on far too long and both of them were too exhausted to fight but too stubborn to concede the match to the other. What she did remember was that she trounced him in their next match. Served him right.


	9. Frying Pans, Fretting & First Aid

thanks so much, all you faithful readers. i wish i could get a few more reviews, but i _really_ appreciate those of you who review. writing makoto is always a challenge for me, so 1) that's why it took so long and 2) feedback would be amazing. i know i said i'd get another one out, but i'm not sure how that's going to go (since this one took so long). i'll do my best though, so please, stick with me. love you all.

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Makoto gave the sparkling counter another swipe with the dishrag and sighed. It wasn't that she hated teaching Usagi, but her princess was an absolute horror in the kitchen. By the end of today's session, the counter could be covered in flour, which wasn't included in any of the things they were cooking. Draping the rag over the faucet, the Jovian hauled out the chopping block, a stack of frying pans, and the rice cooker. Everything seemed to be in place and she still had fifteen minutes to kill. And she had to fill those minutes so she didn't have to think about last night's dream. _Nephrite and those hands of his..._ she shivered. _Focus, Makoto._ Of course, focusing wasn't so easy when Demeter was sighing with delight in the back of her head.

"What to do...what to do..." she muttered, trying to talk over the wistful Jovian in her very loud subconscious.

"Thank kami-sama!" she cried when the doorbell rang. Rubbing clammy palms on her pink apron, she ran to answer the door. There stood Usagi, dressed comfortably in blue jeans and a cute pink tank-top, a white plastic bag clutched in one hand.

"Hey, Mako-chan. I hope it's not a problem that I'm early," she smiled sheepishly.

"Geez, Usa-chan. Whatever happened to the days where we told you 10 o'clock and didn't see you till 11 at the earliest!" Makoto chuckled.

**She's growing into Serenity,** Demeter answered. _I'd rather hear it from Usagi, thank you very much,_ Makoto snapped back.

"I'm just growing up," Usagi shrugged, stepping inside, shedding her shoes, and sliding into slippers. "I'm a married woman now. I have to be responsible. And then, when Rini comes I'm going to need to be twice as responsible. Well, that and the queen thing--"

"Alright, Usagi, I got it," Makoto surrendered, waving her hands. "You all ready for today? Frying isn't easy..." she trailed off.

"Especially considering my tendency to screw even the littlest things up, right?"

"Right," Makoto sighed.

"Don't worry. I'm sure your your kitchen will survive," Usagi beamed, boldly making her way into the kitchen.

_Oh how I hope so,_ Makoto moaned. **Your fault. I was never foolish enough to try to teach Serenity. Personally, I think you've gone insane.** Makoto chose to ignore her other self.

"So...what are the steps?" Makoto examined Usagi, hands on her hips. They talked about this every week. For the most part, Usagi was making progress--messy progress, but progress was progress.

"Apron," Usagi pulled out a white one from her bag. She put it on and tied it with a delicacy that made Makoto reminisce about balls and gowns from the Silver Millennium. "Then wash my hands, right?" Makoto nodded. While Usagi did that, Makoto leaned against the counter and performed a mental checklist.

_Fire extinguisher--check. Mop, broom, and bucket--check. New vacuum filters--check. New bottle of lysol--check. Fresh package of sponges--check. Air freshener--check. Garbage disposal--fully functional. Replenished first aid kit--double check._ _Okay...we're good to go...I hope._

"Yoohoo? Is anybody in there?" Was that Usagi's hand in her face? Wow, she must be tired.

"Yeah," she waved her hand noncommittally. "I'm just beat. Didn't sleep too well last night."

Her bubbly princess rocked back on her heels with her hands clasped behind her back. "That's okay, Dem. No problem." Usagi smiled, and Makoto floundered. _Did she just call me Dem?_ **It would seem...** "Hey, should I go ahead and wash the veggies I brought?" Makoto nodded dumbly. To top it off, Usagi continued on as though she hadn't just called her by a nicknamed invented over a millennium ago! Five minutes later and Makoto wasn't any more coherent, but Usagi was done.

"What now, Mako-chan?" she chimed, drying her hands on her apron. "Are you okay, Makoto?" Blue eyes peered up into her face.

"I really don't know, Usa-chan."

"Well then, let's take a break," Usagi suggested. "After all, I really need your help if I'm going to learn this stuff. Come on, Mako-chan, sit." Tiny hands propelled her toward the kitchen table and pushed her into a chair. "I'll fix something to drink." When Makoto made to get up, the princess held up her hand while opening the fridge. "Uh-uh. You sit. I can handle two glasses without breaking anything. After all, I manage to use dishes at home just fine."

She returned with two icy glasses of pink lemonade. Plunking down across the table, she took a sip. "So...what's bugging you?"

"Well, it's kind of complicated," Makoto blushed. _Does Usagi really expect me to answer that? _**Oh just do it, already!** "So I had this weird dream..."

"Mmhmm..." Usagi nodded supportively. Makoto took a huge gulp of pink lemonade. Her throat was suddenly very dry.

"It was about the Silver Millennium, see..."

... ... ... ... ...

"Jupiter..." Nephrite breathed over her supine form. She knew she must be blushing. How horrified was he at her amazon body? She knew that many in the Lunarian court found her awkward, ungainly, and an eyesore. Of course, they never said it out loud, but word got around anyway. Was she really as beastly and repulsive as they claimed? It had been too long since she'd been called pretty--and that was by her parents before she left for the Moon!

She dug her fingers into the rumpled sheets, praying to kami-sama that it didn't look like she was about to cry. Maybe the grievous absence of light would help disguise it. The hardest part was resisting the urge to scream "damn it!" and punch the headboard to pieces.

"Nephrite, I--"

"You're gorgeous," he smiled gently from his place above her. She nearly choked--she'd been about to tell him she understood she wasn't the most attractive of women and he'd called her gorgeous! Kami-sama, was there a more perfect man?! Despite her very best efforts, her eyes became glossy with tears; although, to her credit, none of the would-be tears fell.

"What's the matter, darling?" he asked, obvious concern lining his handsome features. She half-smiled at that; she liked that he was so genuine with her. When they'd come of age, Venus had warned her to beware of flattery and myriad tokens of affection--they were sure signs of someone who cared little for the person but much for the title. He'd certainly hadn't flattered her when they'd first met, and not for many more weeks. And she hadn't received a fancy present from him yet, nor did she expect one. His presence was more than enough for her.

She reached up a fingertip to trace one of his cheekbones, twisting her other hand in his unbound auburn waves. "Do you know how long it's been since someone's said anything like that to me?"

He was startled then furious. "They're demons, the lot of them. I hope you didn't take what they said to heart..."

"For a while," she admitted, pulling herself up to kiss his nose. With a followup finger tap, she grinned, "I seem to recall some unpleasant things said about me when we first met..." His horrified expression made her laughter bubble over.

"I--"

"Oh be quiet, you," she ordered, kissing him firmly on the mouth. As an aggressive woman, she expected that any man who found her attractive would likely be more aggressive, even in bed. So, naturally, she was blown away by the delicate way he handled her.

As his lips slid over hers while his fingers traced patterns on her hipbones, she felt her entire body heat up. Kami-sama! So this is what Venus meant! As his tongue traced the warm pockets of her mouth, she began to get a distinct sense of his taste. Molten sugar--she never would have guessed.

His hands ran over her willowy form, conjuring sounds from her she'd never known she could make. Cool breeze drifting from the open window was the only comfort her heated body would receive that night. In return, she explored his chest and shoulders with avid curiosity. Then his hands did something particularly unexpected and equally wonderful. "Nephrite!" she cried. "Kami-sama!"

His chuckle spilled over her. "You, love, are a fascinating woman." She was panting for breath--kami-sama he was good with those hands! "And you're quickly becoming my favorite obsession."

"Why thank you," she managed to gasp out. "You," she began, "are more than I could have imagined." He just smiled archly and kissed her deeply, pressing their unclothed bodies together.

... ... ... ... ...

"Uhm..." Makoto trailed off. How did she even begin to share something like that with Usagi? Fiddling with the hem of her apron, she averted her eyes.

"Come on, Mako-chan, you can tell me," Usagi half-whined. That made Makoto smile. It was good to see that Usa wasn't totally vanishing into Serenity. **No, no, **Demeter corrected, mentally burying her head in her hands. **She's as whiny in this lifetime as she was in the last.** It wasn't a very kind remark, and Makoto found herself chafing at the idea that she had been Demeter. _How can you say those kind of things about Usagi?! She's our princess, the first woman to befriend us!_ **I never said I didn't love her, ** Demeter whispered wistfully. **She may not be perfect, but that's what makes her just right. **The mental smile was a calming one. Perhaps it wasn't such a bad thing, this internal conversation.

"Mako-chan! I'm right here you know. At least tell me if you're going to vanish into your head!" Usagi teased, her bright smile ever in place.

"Sorry," Makoto replied, feeling rather embarrassed. _Oops._

"It's okay. So, your dream...?"

"I don't know, Usa. It's kinda embarrassing," Makoto twiddled with a loose piece of hair.

"It can't be that bad, right?" Usagi encouraged. "You can tell me, Dem."

Makoto visibly jolted, and the breathless gap that she released echoed through the small apartment.

"What what?" Usagi looked bewildered.

"You keep calling me that!" The force of Makoto's startled jump had pushed her chair back a few feet. Abruptly, she was on her feet, clutching her arms. She watched anxiously as Usagi gracefully pushed her chair back and slowly came her way. When the Moon princess stood before her, Makoto fleetingly considered that she might be hyperventilating. Slender hands reached up to curl around her own and pull them down. Usagi's comforting smile and the thumbs rubbing warm circles on the backs of her hands did little to soothe her. Noting that Makoto hadn't changed, Usagi frowned. A little sigh and the senshi of thunder felt that long dormant link flood with life. Soft tendrils of silver curled around her, promising it was safe, that it would be all right.

"Do you or do you not trust me, Demeter?" Usagi fixed her with a stern but compassionate glance. Demeter panicked within her. How could Usagi know?

"I--I mean what--how--" Makoto mumbled, trying to break eye contact with this unusually serious Usagi--no, with Serenity.

"I remember everything," Usagi admitted. "I've had a lot more time, so it shouldn't be much of a surprise that I remember your name."

"Just because it shouldn't doesn't mean it won't," Makoto defended. "That's not something people slip casually into conversation." The abashed woman shrugged, attempting to gather her crumbling dignity.

"So you gonna tell me about the dream?" Usagi poked her in the shoulder. "Or do I need to share something equally embarrassing about my memories?" Without an answer, the blond launched into a story, cheeks growing pink, "See there was this one time with Endymion where I actually got to go inside the castle. The tour lasted about as long as it took to get to his room--"

"Ah! Usagi! I do not need to know about you and Endymion in bed!" Makoto nearly shrieked, bright red. Usagi giggled mischievously. "You're terrible," Makoto scolded, "Minako's corrupted you!"

"What?" Usagi replied innocently. "I know you and Nephrite did it at least once." **She hasn't changed a bit,** Demeter grinned. Makoto didn't have time to consider the liveliness of her past self as she processed Usagi's words.

"I...uh...wait! How did you know that!?" Makoto cried.

"You told Venus. Not your smartest move," Usagi laughed. "She turned around and relayed it right to me. I was happy for you."

Demeter groaned at her idiocy. **Of course Venus told her. What was I thinking!** _Nothing particularly smart it would appear, _replied a very chagrined Makoto.

"So did you dream about it?" Usagi asked returning to what Makoto had hoped was a long forgotten subject.

It was time to return to the lesson, Makoto concluded as she turned around to examine Usagi's veggies. "Yes," she mumbled. At the very least, she thought she might be able to avoid eye contact.

"Okay," Usagi chirped from behind her. "So what's bugging you? It should be a happy memory, right?"

"Usa!" Makoto spun, "They were Dark Kingdom generals! Beryl's men! And somehow I'm not supposed to be bothered by that?"

"It wasn't their fault," Usagi muttered. "She got to them before they remembered anything."

Makoto and Demeter considered that for a moment. "What difference does that make, Usa-chan?" Makoto inquired softly. "They still betrayed us. I remember killing him this time around. You remember the bridal shop youma..."

"Of course. That was the night you became Jupiter," Usagi nodded proudly at her powers of recollection. "Oh! He lured you with Andy!"

"With lots of very nice things. What if he didn't mean it--I mean, back in the Silver Millennium?" Makoto sighed. Her insides were all twisted up at that thought. If he'd tricked her, her heart wasn't coming out of this conversation in once piece.

Usagi bit her lip. "Would you believe me if I swore to you he meant it?" Usagi's word meant a lot. **Serenity wouldn't say it if she didn't believe it. **_I know. It just...it can't be the final say on this one thing._

"I really want to, Usagi. It's just hard," Makoto picked up the block of knives. "Which one for chopping veggies?" Usagi pulled one out, checked the length, and shoved it back in.

"This one," she tapped its neighbor with a finger. "Try to take it on faith, Demeter. He meant it."

"Then go ahead and cut these veggies up. I'll stand here and watch," Makoto brusquely ended the conversation. She was not going to talk about a man who was long dead. She should be looking forward, not back.

"Ouch!" _Scratch that!_ she floundered. _Not forward. _**Watch Serenity! **Demeter hollered. **You're the one that gave her the knife!**

"You okay, Usa?" Makoto turned to her friend and held out her hand. Usagi set her hand, wounded finger included, in the taller girl's palm. It wasn't very deep, but it looked determined to bleed. In fact, there was already a droplet of blood on the floor. Quickly ripping a paper towel from the roll on the counter, Makoto bunched it up and pressed it against the cut. "Put--"

"Pressure on it," Usagi finished, sighing. "I just can't seem to get this right. Every single time."

"Then I guess it's a good thing we have Ami-chan and her Mercurian healing powers. Think what your people would say if their queen had scarred fingers!" Makoto grinned. Maybe if she made light about it, Usagi wouldn't take it so seriously.

"Thank kami-sama for our resident genius," Usagi agreed. "I'm sure I'll get it next time. Eleventh time's the charm right?" The playful lilt in her voice caused both girls to burst out in guffawing laughs.

It was odd how thoughts of Nephrite could wind her so tight she thought she'd never unknot her nerves, and then, along comes Usagi, who drops her right back on her feet with a few giggles and a cut. _Earth is definitely a weird place,_ she concluded, fishing through the first aid kit. They'd be patched up in no time and all ready to go. **Don't forget the blood on the floor, **reminded Demeter. _Right. Back to business. _**Don't burn down the house, **Demeter chuckled. Makoto allowed herself a small smile at that while cleaning Usagi's cut. With any luck, her apartment would come out just fine, and Usagi was proving to be a pretty lucky person, even if it took eleven tries.


	10. Tea For The Troubled Soul

"Mako-chan," Usagi called from her spot by the door. Seconds later, Makoto appeared with dishrag and 409 in hand.

"What's up, Usa-chan? I thought you were already out the door," Makoto replied, puzzled. Usagi took a second look at her frazzled friend and tackled Makoto in a hug. She wrapped her arms around her much taller friend. Makoto responded after the expected brief moment of surprise.

"It's gonna be okay, alright?" Usagi whispered. "I promise everything will be alright."

"How can you know, Usa?" Usagi knew it. Makoto was not okay as she had tried to convince Usagi.

Usagi leaned back to make eye contact. "Because there is no way I'm letting Crystal Tokyo happen unless you girls are happy," Usagi replied confidently. _Can I do it? _**WE can.**

Makoto gave her a dubious look.

"Trust me," Usagi repeated. _I swear I shouldn't have to say this five times over._ **Just because you have to repeat it doesn't mean they won't.**

"I'm trying, Usagi," Mako-chan sighed. "I really am."

"There is nothing I wouldn't do for you girls," Usagi added, "I hope you believe that much."

"Of course, Usa-chan," Makoto smiled, "Just because I'm not...err...completely confident in your promise doesn't mean I think you didn't mean it."

"Good," Usagi grinned, "Just checking." She glanced down at her cell phone. "Oh, crud! I'm running late for tea with Rei! Bye, Mako-chan!" _Out the door, out the door, down the steps, down the--AH! Missed one! _**Slow down, Usagi. Rei will understand. **_Only after she's done yelling! _**Well, that might be true. Hecate can be awfully impatient for a miko.**

The cafe was three blocks and a sharp turn from Mako-chan's apartment. Usagi thanked kami-sama she didn't trip and scrape herself open on the concrete. The bells on the door tinkled as she swung it open, panting. Rei sat at the back of the cafe, scowling at her phone.

Usagi halted at the counter. "Chamomile tea please. A whole pot." The man looked a little surprised. _I guess they don't do that kind of thing here. _"You see the girl in the back?"

"The one who looks about ready to break the table in half?" he asked, reluctant to even look Rei's way.

"That'd be the one," Usagi grinned, "I'm late to meet her, so I was hoping if I got us some _calming _tea, she might not destroy the table." She dropped enough yen on the counter to amply cover the bill.

"Not a problem, miss," the man jumped to attention. "Why don't you go over there and sit down?" he ushered her in that general direction. "I'll bring it right to you."

Usagi made her way around the little tables filled with girlfriends chatting, old couples reminiscing, and the occasional surly businessman. With a clink, she dropped her purse on the table.

"Usagi!" Rei started.

Usagi held up her hand. "Rei--"

"Late! Again! I mean--!"

"Rei!" she whispered fiercely. "Cooking with Mako-chan ran late."

"You could have called," Rei whispered back, just as fiercely.

"Yeah, that's brilliant. Let's stop and call Rei when Mako-chan looks like she's going to cry the second I leave," Usagi hissed. Rei's violet eyes widened in surprise.

"Mako-chan? Cry?" Usagi understood that the words didn't seem to go together, but at least she had Rei's attention. Usagi:1, Rei:0.

"Yes," Usagi replied, raising her voice to normal level. Hey! Was that a shaking hand setting that teapot down? "Hi," she chirped to the scared worker. _Poor guy._ **Hecate tends to have that kind of effect on people,** Serenity sighed. "Thanks so much for bringing it here. Cups?" He pulled two from his apron and set them down on small saucers. "Thanks. Hold that thought, Rei-chan. I'm going to go grab us some sugar and spoons." She pushed herself up and waltzed over to the standalone "spruce up your latte" tower. A handful of sugar and two small spoons later, she was seated back across from Rei.

"So Mako-chan?" Rei asked, her natural curiosity shining through.

Usagi ripped a sugar packet open. "She was upset by some Silver Millennium dreams. Like you," Usagi gestured with her spoon. "I couldn't just leave."

"No, I get it," Rei muttered. "Sorry I yelled at you." Usagi smiled at Rei's ducked head.

"So what's up, Rei?" she murmured, teacup at her lips. Mmmm...good tea.

Now Rei looked all flustered.

"Well, see..." Goodness, was this going to be a constant thing? Her senshi not finishing sentences?

"Yes?" Usagi prompted. This was harder than she had thought. _I wonder how much Rei remembers? _**Less than Demeter. Hecate was the third to fall for one of Endymion's.** _Right. Thanks for the heads up, Sere._

"You know how we're supposed to protect you, right?" Rei started. Usagi nodded. "I dreamed Endymion had four guards like us."

"He...did." Usagi had barely bit back 'does.' _That was close. _**Careful.**

"You're so calm about it!" Rei cried. "They were traitors! Jadeite, Nephrite, Zoicite, Kunzite--the lot of them!"

"No," Usagi declared firmly. _I won't have her destroy their chances._

"No?" Rei appeared flabbergasted. "How can you say that? They helped Beryl!" She guessed Rei didn't remember anything about her and Jadeite--not yet anyway--if she was only concerned about the clash between Metallia and her mother a millennium ago.

"It's not their fault," Usagi murmured. She pitied the shitennou; their return would not be peaceful. "Beryl just knew what to look for the second time around." Hopefully that wasn't too much information.

"If they were weak enough to fall into Beryl's hands, then how could Endymion have trusted them to protect him!?" Rei argued, then realized what she'd said and clamped her hand over her mouth.

"Are you saying you doubt Mamo-chan's judgment?" Usagi asked, hurt.

"No, I'm just..." Rei dug long, slender fingers into her hair, propping her elbows on the table. "I don't know what I'm doing, Usagi. I just remember things, and they...bother me."

Usagi took a moment to nudge Rei's cup closer. "Drink. It's chamomile, and it's good for you. I'll try to explain without giving too much away." Rei's eyebrows perked up at that.

"There's more?" Usagi didn't trust herself to do more than nod.

"Endymion's four generals, the shitennou, were chosen by the golden crystal. Endymion tells me he knew them from a very young age, just like we met when we were toddlers," Usagi giggled. Sere's image of little Rei was absolutely adorable. Rei looked a little disconcerted. Oh well. "They made a blood pact, Rei. Endymion and his shitennou were blood brothers. He knew their true names."

"What? Did I hear you right?" Rei was way too eager to hear this. Oooh how she hoped she hadn't made a mistake in saying that.

"They swore their loyalty just like you girls did," Usagi repeated, voice deceptively steady. "They never would have willingly betrayed Endymion in this life. Beryl got to them before they even had a clue about Mamo-chan. You remember Rini's senshi--the girls from the four solar asteroids?" Rei nodded. "Nephrenia got to them before they awakened the same way. It's not the shitennou's fault that Beryl caught them." She paused. _Should I tell her about how they betrayed Beryl at the end?_ **Mmm. It might not be the safest thing, but Hecate needs all the convincing in the world before she'll believe us.**

"And Rei," she began, "What I'm going to tell you now needs to stay between the two of us. Even if Minako pulls rank on you, you stay quiet, 'kay?" Rei leaned forward in her chair.

"What is it?"

"Swear to me, Hecate," Usagi insisted.

"I swear, Serenity." The words rolled off the fire senshi's tongue easily. _It's good Rei still listens to you at least,_ Usagi informed Serenity. **She obeys me, but she trusts you.** _Trusts us, not just me._

"The shitennou, well, more like Kunzite because he was the only one alive, rebelled against Beryl at the end. Kunzite remembered Endymion. And he tried to fight Beryl, but his body was hers. There wasn't a lot he could do. When we killed them, they turned into stone." Rei was fascinated--that could be both good and bad. "When Beryl turned Mamo-chan against us," Usagi choked back a whimper. _He tried to kill me. _**That was a long time ago, Usagi. He would never do such a thing now.** "She gave him the stones. And then when I tried to kill him with Mina-chan's sword..."

Rei blanched. Usagi grabbed her hand, knowing her friend was remembering when the Moon princess had driven the same sword through her abdomen. "It's okay, Rei." She gave the miko's hand a squeeze. "The sword hit the stones. They saved his life--the shitennou locked inside those stones."

"They...sacrificed their lives...for Endymion...even under Beryl's control?" Rei looked flabbergasted. "Not possible."

"As Ami-chan would say," Usagi smiled ruefully, "Possible but not probable. I wouldn't have thought so either, but Mamoru," she watched Rei's expression change as she wandered away from the pet names, "says they asked his forgiveness for all their trespasses. And he gave it."

She gave Rei a moment to process that while refilling her cup. She sipped. Chamomile tea was definitely the best.

"So...they're basically cleared?" Rei wanted to confirm.

"Yes. If Mamoru forgave them, so did I."

"Wow. And I'm not allowed to tell Minako," Rei gave a heavy sigh. "Just great."

"Sorry," Usagi shrugged. Minako didn't need to know...yet. "So what did you dream about? I'm curious." _What did Jadeite do to throw her off balance in this one?_ **Kami-sama only knows. All he had to do to annoy her was exist.** She hid her smile behind the teacup.

"Jadeite was being an ass," Rei growled, obviously much more at ease talking about him now that Usagi'd reassured her.

"Or were you egging him on?" Usagi teased. It couldn't hurt to put Rei into a more companionable mindset concerning the blond.

"I was not!" Rei cried, offended.

"Oh face it, Rei," Usagi poked her friend in the forehead. "There was tension between you from the second you locked gazes. If we'd known the song back then I can bet Minako and I'd have been singing, 'Anything you can do I can do better.' I've never seen two more headstrong people," Usagi grinned.

"I am not headstrong!" Rei retorted.

"Are too," Usagi cocked her head. Time for a glare down. **It's a wonder you two get anything done,** Serenity sighed. Usagi paid it no mind. Her memories were vivid enough to know it had always been like this. She liked that Rei spoke her mind...most of the time.

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"So what did Jadeite do, Miss Temperamental?" Usagi asked again.

"The shitennou and senshi were sparring, except he wouldn't spar with me," Rei glowered, "Kept saying it was too hot, or he didn't feel like it. Ugh!"

"So basically," Usagi started, fiddling with her spoon, "Jadeite was ignoring you." Rei went pink with embarrassment at her simple explanation.

"It's more complicated than that!" Rei argued. Usagi:2, Rei:0.

_She's so stubborn,_ Usagi remarked to Serenity. **What did you expect?** Serenity responded, smothering laughter. _Sensibility?_ **You're delusional. Hecate? Are you perhaps thinking of someone else? **

"So why did it bother you?" Usagi asked, completely sidestepping the stubborn fire senshi's retort. To answer her would have put the conversation at an impasse. Impasse...Usagi smiled at the fact that her vocabulary had been steadily increasing ever since she and Mamo-chan got married. "After all, used to be that when people ignored you, you either retaliated..." _Which she did plenty of times after that one..._ Serenity chuckled. "...Or you pretended like they didn't exist."

"Usagi!" Rei screeched softly. "I do not do such childish things."

"Oh give it up, Rei," Usagi grinned, taking another sip of her tea. "You do too and we both know it." A staring contest ensued. The fire senshi broke first. Usagi:3, Rei:0.

Rei sighed and cradled her teacup in her hands. "Okay, I give. And maybe I used to, but I try to control my knee-jerk reactions nowadays."

"Yes, that's true," Usagi conceded. **Rei is growing into Hecate. The tempered personality is a sure sign of that, **Serenity commented. _That's a good thing, right?_ Usagi inquired. **Of course.**

"So how are you doing?" Usagi asked. Though the most innocent, she was confident it was the most important of her questions.

"Everything's all muddled now that she's in my head," Rei admitted. "It's kinda like my spiritual senses swallowed a bottle of that sleepy cough medicine." She paused. "Except they're very clear when I'm remembering, not that that makes a whole lot of sense." Belatedly, Rei tore open a sugar packet and watched the tiny white grains tumble into the golden water. Stirring with her head down, she added, "And we barely talk. I have so many unanswered questions, and she isn't talking."

"She refuses to?" Usagi asked, surprised. **That doesn't sound like Hecate, **Serenity frowned.

"No," Rei looked up. "It's not that she won't." Slender fingers hoisted the teacup into the air. "She can't. Our magic won't let her. It's so frustrating!" the fire senshi growled softly.

"Is it so important to know the answers right now?" Usagi asked. _If the Sacred Fires won't let her know, then there's probably a good reason, right? _**Yes.**

"It's all I can think about," Rei muttered glumly.

"You know, Rei," Usagi began, running her finger in circles on the tabletop. "Although occasionally you can predict the future, you'd be a a real pain if you knew everything," she smiled playfully. "You'll get your answers eventually, but you have to be patient."

"And when is eventually?" Rei glowered at her. Usagi refused to gulp at the miko's furious expression.

"Not far, I think," Usagi stuttered. "Maybe there's a spiritual reason you can't have those answers now, but I know for sure that you'll have to get them sometime."

"What if it's too important to wait?" Rei's expression turned distressed. "I mean, yes, I want to know because I'm curious, but what if there's another enemy before Crystal Tokyo? What if there's something I should know but don't because the Great Fire's not responding? What if something happens to you or Mamoru-san?"

Her heart skipped a beat at that--and not in a good way. _Sere...?_ ** Not possible. The senshi remembering--it's supposed to happen in such a way that their emotional well-being is protected. It's easier on all sides. If we were truly in danger, I'm sure those safeguards would be lifted. Mars would have complete access...**

Usagi reiterated the news to her worried friend, beginning with "Serenity says..." Rei seemed a little calmer after that, but too quiet for Usagi's comfort. Silence rushed in to fill the newly formed gap. Usagi fumbled for something to bridge it. Ah-ha!--Rei's teacup was empty. Leaning over the table, she poured some more into the white cup.

"Rei," she called, taking advantage of her proximity, "Everything will be alright. I promise."

"How can you promise that? Last I checked you didn't have any powers of prediction," Rei murmured, avoiding eye contact.

"I have a pretty good idea of the road to Crystal Tokyo," she smiled brightly, confidently. "And it's nothing we can't handle."

Rei met her eyes with an upraised eyebrow. "And you know this because..."

"I have Mamo-chan, and together, we have a huge amount of magic at our command. _And_ we have you girls backing us up. You don't need to worry, Rei," she patted her friend's shoulder before settling back into her chair.

"If you say so," Rei muttered, still skeptical.

"I do," Usagi responded firmly. Why couldn't Rei just take her at her word on this stuff? **You'd hate it if she did. **Serenity had a point: it was Rei's skepticism that made her a good leader, forced her to think through things. She appreciated it, but...there were those moments she wanted to smack Rei upside the head. _I hope she remembers fast. I don't know how many times I can say 'trust me' without her getting too suspicious. _**Kami-sama let it be so.**

And then, as if on cue, Rei's phone buzzed. The miko slid the screen up with her thumb. Usagi watched the tell-tale signs of an almost-heart attack flutter across Rei's face. _Uh-oh._

"I swear!" Rei muttered angrily, fingers flying across the exposed keypad. "I leave them alone for a few hours and everything falls apart!"

"Go save your magazine, Rei-chan," Usagi kept her tone sweet and encouraging, delicately waving her hand toward the door. "Kami-sama knows if whatever-it-is is left alone, they'll ruin what's already done."

"Network crash," Rei scowled and her phone buzzed again. "You don't mind if I bail, Usa?"

"Not at all," the moon princess smiled genuinely for the most part; a tiny part of it was forced. She wished for once that she and Rei could have a normal, not-rushed time together. It was hard when your best friend could be buzzed for an emergency at any second. "Promise you'll call if something else comes up?...You know..." Maybe if she drug an additional promise out of her, she'd get to see her again.

"Of course," Rei paused in her frantic lurch from the chair. She must've caught something in Usagi's guarded expression, because she waltzed around the table, and hauling the surprised blonde out of her chair, gave her a huge hug. "I promise, Sere."

"Good." That was all Usagi could come up with at the moment.

"We'll have lunch again soon?" Rei offered. Usagi grabbed at the opportunity.

"Definitely," she nodded emphatically. "Now go save the world." Rei's eyes sparkled with humor at the reference.

"Been there, done that," she grinned and raced for the door. Usagi chuckled softly before following her out, ivory flats shuffling across the tile.

0-0-0-0

sorry i'm getting these out so slowly, but i keep hitting road blocks in the conversations where i don't know where i want to go or what i want to say. please be patient and i'll get them out as fast as humanly possible. love you all. please review.


	11. Blissful Sorrow

Ami sat down in the wrought iron chair, lunch tray before her. The weather was absolutely perfect, she concluded as she unwrapped her sandwich. Absolutely perfect, but it did absolutely nothing for her brooding mood. She really had to pull herself together before her long lunch break was over. She couldn't afford to show this kind of image to her patients. The only thing that could make today worse would be screaming children, and that was exactly what she'd get if she didn't get it together. Ami sighed. Pediatricians needed to be cheerful, comforting. Something she was definitely not--at least not right now.

It was that idiotic dream playing merry havoc with her emotions. Her eyes kept flitting to her left hand and then back to her food. Shaking hands unscrewed her water bottle, and she took a sip. For crying out loud, it was a past life! Why should she be so worked up about it right now? **Because it changed everything,** Athena whispered, her voice colored with nostalgia and sorrow. **When Jikokuten asked it of us... nothing could be the same.**

Ami closed her eyes and envisioned the image she was sure would never leave her mind. Zoicite, kneeling, coppery hair swept lazily over one shoulder, loose sky blue tunic, gray-white breeches, one hand clenched tightly at his waist, bright jade eyes hopeful, almost scared, and in his right hand, a slender silver band crowned with a sparkling gem.

_"Marry me, darling." _She could hear him even now, voice steady despite the anxiety betrayed in his carriage.

More than his proposal, she remembered their wedding, the one Serenity had thrown them with great happiness. The funny thing was, she didn't remember a thing about the wedding itself, but perhaps that was normal. Her parents had been hard to convince, but logic won them over. It was a good marriage, especially since the Prince Endymion was courting the Princess Serenity. Her parents didn't dare insinuate that Queen Serenity was a fool for allowing such a thing to occur, which meant that in addition, they couldn't say a thing about her choice. She'd been walking on sunshine as Venus had said. The two weeks following her wedding had been blissfully happy, particularly her honeymoon. Ami blushed at that thought. **Jikokuten was a very thorough lover, **Athena added thoughtfully. _He was. _Ami wondered if the neighboring customers were confused by her expression.

The water senshi sighed longingly. It was the little things she treasured most: his bare hands caressing her shoulders, the quick, light kisses he gave her each time they passed one another in the halls of the Lunar palace, the way she felt like a beautiful goddess when he looked at her, the way his laughter invariably made her into a child again, his playful smirk, the gentle, affectionate, awed whisper of her true name. All those things... _They're gone,_ Ami mourned. **Don't cry, Ami,** Athena urged, offering comfort as best she could. _Cry?_ Ami reached up to touch her cheeks and realized she was crying. Soft hollow laughter escaped from her lips. _I'd have__ thought that without him here, it would be easier. It's long past._ **A millennium is a mere hour for one who has found her soulmate, **Athena offered, but it was little comfort to either of them. **It couldn't have been more clear than if we'd wed him yesterday.** Ami heard the subtle note of pain in her past self's voice. It made her heart ache. The gaping hole there--it would be there every day--forever--even into Crystal Tokyo. _Crystal Tokyo... _That thought alone was enough to send her into a fit of sobs. But the ever restrained senshi fought them back. More stubborn than her friends knew her to be, she pushed Athena back, picked up her sandwich, and made believe that nothing was wrong.

Three quarters into her meal and her determination was fading. Torturing her napkin in her hands, she bit her lip. She would not bawl like a child in public. But it was a losing battle, which is why, when her phone rang, she dove for it like a drowning man for a life preserver.

"Hello, Mizuno-san speaking," she murmured in a deceptively steady voice.

"Ami-chan!" squealed Usagi-chan's voice. "I was afraid I'd have to leave you a voicemail because I can never remember your schedule and I always--"

"Usagi-chan, could you maybe call back later?" Ami asked wearily. Her burdened heart didn't think it could stand Usagi's indomitable cheerfulness. "Please?" Her voice was moving dangerously into the weeping range.

And then Ami could almost feel the atmosphere change around her.

"What's wrong, Ami?" Usagi's sympathetic voice inquired.

"It's nothing, Usa," Ami murmured. "Just a rough day at work."

Amazingly, impossibly, Ami realized Usagi was frowning on the other end. That realization triggered an involuntary shiver, which was followed by the oddest sensation--warmth, like slender arms wrapped around her in a firm embrace and a sweet, candied scent in the air, like teenage Usa's perfume.

"Tell me the truth, Athena," Usagi's gentle voice commanded.

_**What?**__What was that?_ a shivering Ami asked. **It appears we underestimated Serenity. **"Sere?" Ami replied uncertainly.

"Yes?"

"You called me by that name..." Ami was confused.

"It's yours, isn't it?" Usagi's amused voice tinkled like little bells. "Athena. There, I said it again. Now will you tell me what's wrong?"

And Ami did something completely uncharacteristic of her. "Usa, he asked me to marry him," she murmured in a choked voice. "I married him. Zoicite."

"Of course you did," Usagi replied, as if it were the most commonplace thing in the world for her to have married a man who they'd fought in this lifetime.

"How much do you remember?" Ami asked. She must not have all the information.

"Everything."

"And..."

"I remember your wedding. Venus designed your dress herself. It was ice-blue faille, but it looked white in the daylight. Candlelight brought out the soft blue tints. My mother married you at twilight in the Grand Ballroom. Jupiter created a masterpiece of a cake, snowy white with blue hyacinths for decoration. Mars... well I think she was so shocked that she couldn't do anything but smile as best she could," Usagi recounted, "The stone in your wedding ring was pure azure zoicite."

Ami muffled a sob in her hand. "I had the world, Usa. And now it's gone."

"Not gone," Usagi corrected, "Ami, we were all reborn to find happiness. Yours is out there somewhere. Maybe it's not with Zoicite, but it's there."

"How can you be sure, Usa-chan? What proof do you have?" Ami countered, ever logical.

"Ami-chan, I'm not Rei. I can't predict the future," Usagi sighed. "Just trust me that the sacrifices you've made for me, that all of the senshi have made...it's going to be made right. I don't know how we're going to do it, or what we're going to do period, but I promise things won't stay like this forever."

"How can anything replace him, Usagi?" Ami murmured, unreasonable fury clawing at her insides. "How dare you tell me that there's something better! There is nothing better in the world than Zoi!"

"Ami," Usagi called back. "Ami, I'm not saying you need to replace him. Just trust me, okay? Fate isn't mean enough to keep you from happiness, not after everything you've given to preserve everyone else's. I understand how upset you are and--"

"How can you?!" Ami cried back as softly as she could. How could the Moon princess, who'd never woken in a new lifetime to find she'd lost the center of her world.

"That's not--" Usagi sighed heavily into the receiver. The line crackled on Ami's end. "What I mean is...the link's open, Ami. It's been open since we were reborn after defeating Chaos."

Ami nearly fell out of her chair in shock. _It's open? But that link hasn't been used since the Silver Millennium._ **Magical connections might dwindle, but they never disappear.** The Mercurian princess had been quiet for some time, and Ami knew it must be that her counterpart was more reserved, more used to hiding her emotions because neither of them should be handling this reality--this loss--well.

"I can't believe it..." Ami muttered. The implications were astounding. Usagi had had access to all of them since...kami-sama!--years ago!

"Believe it," Usagi chuckled mirthlessly. "Not to sound self-centered or anything, but having it open hasn't been a walk in the park with all of you remembering and mourning. I hurt too."

Ami tucked away the fact that the others were mourning too. She wasn't sure what to make of that. She did feel a rush of pity for a leader who'd been juggling the wild emotions of four other people in her head.

And then there was the question that had just popped into her head, courtesy of Athena. Ami wondered how it hadn't occurred to her yet, how she hadn't considered it. Athena was so much more mature than she was. **Not true,** Athena denied. **You have grown so much because of your time with Serenity. You have skills I never had, intuition I never needed to use, courage I never had to cultivate. This world has made you strong in ways I was not.** _What good has it done me? _Ami asked bitterly, but she asked Usagi Athena's question rather than that one.

"How did he end up as one of Beryl's generals?" Ami asked flatly, trying to conceal all her emotions.

"Like Nephrenia and the four Sailor Asteroids, Beryl found their reincarnated selves before they awakened. They swore loyalty to her without understanding what they were doing. She changed their bodies, altered their minds, and closed off their memories. They didn't stand a chance." Usagi's tone was flooded with sorrow.

"Oh." Ami filed that away to consider later. Right now, she had to get back to work. The church clock down the street was ringing away. Ten minutes to return to the clinic and normal life. Ten minutes to bury her heart. "Usa? I have to go. I get off break in ten minutes. I'll call you later if I have time," Ami offered, not sure if she really meant it.

"Alright," Usagi answered. "Remember to smile," her princess encouraged, "I'll pray that you don't get any screamers." Ami had to smile at that.

"Thanks, Usagi."

"And you promise you'll call? I've already talked to all the others."

"Yes, I promise." This time, she was confident she meant it. "Goodbye, Usagi-chan."

"Bye, Ami-chan."


	12. Beneath The Lights

Minako heard a yowl of alarm as she threw another top onto the bed.

"Minako! By the Moon, just pick an outfit!" Artemis cried, jumping out of range of another deadly hanger.

"It's not that simple, Artemis," Minako huffed. "I'm a model! Everything I'm wearing has to be carefully chosen!" Her stress level was reaching new heights. Tonight "Hidden Ink" had rented out a popular nightclub to celebrate Ai's new contract with the company. Minako nearly squealed again, remembering last week's meeting. Dripping with sweat from another intense shoot with Daisuke-san, she'd been informed that the vice president of the company wanted to see her. Before that moment, she'd have sworn that she didn't have an ounce of sweat left in her body. Her body proved her wrong as she rode the elevator up two more floors to the company's offices. She hadn't guessed a thing until he offered her the contract. Instead of getting fired, she was asked to stay on for the year. The problem now was what one wore to her "I-just-got-a-fat-wonderful-supermodel-contract" party.

**Why not ****that**** outfit?** Aphrodite offered.

_Which outfit?_

**The one you wore on your first day.**

_Isn't that one a little simple?_

**Simple or chic?** Aphrodite pointed out.

"Chic it is," Minako agreed aloud. Artemis gave her a strange look from his perch atop the white clothing box on her bed, his island in the sea of fabric. There were only seconds between her announcement and then her abrupt dive toward him. He yelped and dove out of the way, landing on her dresser.

"Minako, what on Earth...?"

"You were on my outfit," she laughed playfully. Artemis just sighed as Minako ripped the lid off the box. Sliding into the jeans, she wondered why this option hadn't occurred to her before.

**You were too concerned with whether or not your bosses would like your outfit, **Aphrodite offered somewhat condescendingly.

_I am not!_ Minako snapped back.

Aphrodite continued on as if Minako hadn't even spoken. **It doesn't matter what they think. We will, without a doubt, be the most beautiful woman in the club tonight. We're the goddess of love--we'd be irresistible in a garbage bag.**

Minako was more than a little repulsed at her past self's arrogance. _I am not the most beautiful woman in the world, _Minako argued, buttoning the jeans.

Aphrodite merely made a dismissing humph at that. But now Minako's curiosity was piqued. Yanking the black top over her head, she asked, _Were we truly that beautiful?_ **Men bowed to me like I was a goddess. As far as admirers went, ours surpassed Serenity and the other senshi's combined, **the Venusian princess boasted.

_I think you should be a little less arrogant. _**Pride isn't a sin if what you're saying is true.** _What's that old proverb? Pride..._

Minako turned to her guardian cat, hoping he would have the answer so she wouldn't have to embarrass herself.

"Arty, what's that saying about pride?"

Artemis looked up from preening himself. "It goes before a fall." He returned to his business calmly, examining Minako from the corner of his eye.

"Right," Minako nodded. "So there!" she shouted to her reflection in the mirror. In the background of her reflection, Minako noticed Artemis shake his head and jump down. "Arty! I'm not crazy! I swear!" she called out the doorway into the living room. She sighed and then turned to glare at the mirror. "Stop making me look like an idiot!"

**Minako, only you can make yourself look the fool.**

"Oh thanks," she growled. "For a princess, you're kind of mean."

**Whoever said princesses had to be sugary sweet?**

She had a point. But had she really been that arrogant? It wasn't a happy thought. _I mean, yeah, I'm pretty, _Minako decided, _But I'd rather have people admire me for my heart than my face. Usa always says that's the most important thing._

**Serenity was wise beyond her years in some ways, **Aphrodite commented softly.

_Except when it came to Endymion. _Minako chuckled at that.

**Except that, **Aphrodite agreed with the barest hint of a laugh. Last night they'd rescued her from two youma on Earth.

"So did we ever fall in love?" Minako asked, flipping her eyelashes up with the mascara wand. "I mean with all those guys worshiping us..."

**No.**

"No?" Now the blonde was very confused.

**No, we did not.**

"Then what?"

**We had our share of trysts.**

_Trysts?_

**Yes, trysts, **the Venusian sounded offended.

_No, _Minako scowled, realizing her other self had misunderstood her. _I meant what's a tryst?_

**Oh. In modern day language it's a fling.**

"Oh." _Why?_

**It was never right, **the blond princess sighed with longing. **Something was...**

_Missing, _Minako filled in, frustrated. It sounded a lot like all her relationships in this life too. **Yes. **She applied lip gloss briskly and turned to head out the door. **Don't forget your purse. **_Thanks._

The model flew down the stairs and out her apartment door. The black town car was waiting for her. She clambered in the back and preened her hair in a pocket mirror.

**You look fine, **Aphrodite interrupted.

_Please try not to do that tonight, _Minako pleaded. _The last thing I need are tabloids suggesting I hear voices._

**Certainly, **Aphrodite conceded. **But please stop fussing with your hair, Minako. There's nothing wrong with it, and at that rate, you'll ruin all the work you put into it.**

_Sorry. Nervous._

**You are beautiful, you know. You have absolutely nothing to worry about.**

_Says the Venusian princess._

**You are me, Minako. Just be your engaging self and everyone will flock to you.**

_If you say so._

**I do. **And that was the end of that because Aphrodite didn't offer anything else.

A few minutes later the town car pulled up outside Le Chat Noir, a new-age interpretation of one of historical Montmartre's hot spots. Hooking her purse over her wrist, she climbed from the car with all the sinuous grace of a supermodel. Or at least she hoped she did.

The flashing lights nearly made her pull a Usagi and trip on the way in. She ignored all questions, pushing her way past the paparazzi to enter the door manned by two men in black suits. "Thank you," she murmured to them as one held the door for her and the other blocked her pursuers. She hadn't considered that there would be press, but it seemed logical enough now that she thought about it.

The company's president and Takahara-san met her inside the door.

"Aino-san, you look fabulous tonight," the thin, impeccably dressed gentleman offered her his hand.

"Thank you," Minako replied sweetly, shaking the extended hand, hoping she wasn't sweating. She'd never met him before, but he could cut her off in a second. "It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Arai-san. Hello, Takahara-san."

"Hello, Aino-san. Nice to see you."

"Ahem," Arai-san coughed to regain Minako's attention. She turned back to him and smiled confidently.

"Yes, Arai-san?" _Oh please, oh please, oh please, don't fire me._

"I was just going to remind you that some of the industry's best photographers, make-up artists, designers, and magazine publishers are out there tonight. It would be best if you remained mindful of that." It was a warning; Minako understood that much. He didn't want her to screw things up for "Hidden Ink."

"Of course, sir," she replied playful, "You can be certain I'll be on my very best behavior."

The man laughed brightly at that, his curly blond hair bouncing in and out of his hazel eyes. Or at least she thought they were hazel--the lighting made it hard to tell. He was dressed in a sleek gray button-down and black slacks. She smiled in reply.

Then the man was tapped on the shoulder by a colleague, and Minako was free to roam. The first thing she did, of course, was find herself a corner seat at the bar. Slipping onto the high stool, she spun to face the dance floor. Blue, green, yellow, and red lights did horrific things to the faces of the mob not a hundred feet from her. The bartender behind her tapped on the black stone surface of the bar.

"Anything for you, Ai-san?" She almost corrected him on her last name, when she remembered that was how she was known here.

"Tonic water with lime," she murmured sweetly. He looked at her oddly--tonic water had no kick to it, no alcohol period. "Wouldn't want to get drunk this early on," she turned her sweet look into a coy smile. He chuckled and turned to get the tonic water. Minako sighed and spun to face the crowd again.

"Found her, lads," a friendly British accent announced from a few feet away. She heard a handful of footsteps, and suddenly, there were four _very_ handsome men in her company, two on each side. "Miss Ai, pleasure to meet you," the British man grinned. "The name's Nathaniel Tessler, but you can call me Nathaniel."

"Nathaniel, then. The pleasure is all mine," she examined the man discreetly. White button-down with the top few undone, tanned skin, dark-chocolate waves cropped to the nape of his neck, baby-blue eyes. She could almost hear Aphrodite murmuring her approval--no, wait--she really could. _Shhh, _Minako mentally hissed. "Fellow model?"

He laughed. "Certainly, darling." A few jarring knocks and he suddenly remembered his friends. "Sorry, these brutes seem to want something." He paused, eyes twinkling with amusement.

"Introduce us, you ass," another foreign accent whispered.

"Ah, yes, my friends," he bowed to Minako and she smiled. "Jeremy Carther, American make-up artist." Dirty blonde hair, styled in that adorable "just-rolled-out-of-bed" look and doe-brown eyes. "Nakamura Takeshi, photographer and Hayubusa Takuya, model. Obviously these two are native born." Nakamura had your usual Japanese hair--dark dark brown and dark brown eyes. Hayubusa didn't look native born what with the golden waves and dashing sapphire eyes. He met her gaze with a crooked grin, realizing immediately that she was checking him out.

"Nice to meet you guys," she slipped into casual English. It had become a necessity when she finished high school and decided to pursue modeling as a career.

"You speak English," Nathaniel appeared shocked. Carther looked elated--he must not be very good at Japanese.

"Of course," Minako adopted an offended tone, but batted her eyelashes. "Every good model knows she could be called anywhere at any second."

"Wise words," Nakamura-san commented kindly. His personality seemed rather subdued, but she liked to have a cup of coffee with those kinds of guys. They made great conversation.

"Mind if I buy you a drink, darling?" Nathaniel offered in his charming British tones.

"No thanks," she said as politely as she could manage. Alcohol was a no-no at professional parties or in public period if she could avoid it.

"But I insist," he smiled. His teeth were a brilliant white.

"It'd be a waste of money," she shrugged. Seizing her full glass, she sipped delicately. "My friends have informed me that I'm a sad drunk. I'd bore you to tears with tales of heartbreak and my sad little life."

Nathaniel didn't seem to know what to make of that, but Hayubusa-san began howling in laughter. The others slowly joined him--it seemed only partially understanding what she'd meant.

"You're not at all what I would've expected from Tokyo's newest star," he shoved his hands in his pockets--black jeans--very nice. As a rule, Minako hated slacks.

"I'm full of surprises," she smiled brightly. "In fact, this evening my cat informed me he thinks I'm losing it."

Two of the others still appeared sadly confused. Carther however, was clapping her on the back, chuckling. "You're a riot," he informed her.

"Thanks," she smiled back.

She looked at Hayubusa-san who was calmly explaining to Nathaniel and Nakamura-san that she wasn't drinking because she wanted to protect her public image and had been joking about the sad drunk part. Nakamura-san's smile was somewhat hesistant, but he nodded as if he understood. That however, did not stop him from reaching across the bar and ordering a glass of brandy at the next chance. Nathaniel smiled good-naturedly at her but seemed mildly offended. Minako felt a bit bad about that. She genuinely liked him.

"Hey, Nathaniel," she slipped off her chair. "Wanna dance?" His expression brightened as groans of disappointment echoed from the other three. She smiled at that. "Ask and ye shall receive," she intoned, shaking a finger at them, "for the silent man is an idiot." They laughed, and as Nathaniel pulled her off into the crowd, she called back, "Save my seat!"

With each step the bass rocked her insides a bit more. When Nathaniel grabbed her waist, she rotated her hips and threw herself into the primal beat. Blond strands flying around her, she fixed her eyes on the changing faces in the colored lights. _Even if you aren't high,_ she decided, _these lights alone could make you feel like it._ More than that, they were making her kind of dizzy.

She finished out that song and the next one, just to be nice to Nathaniel, before insisting she needed a drink. As gracefully as possible, she walked to her spot, only to discover that Hayubusa-san occupied it and Carther and Nakamura-san were missing.

"Dancing," Hayubusa answered her confused look. "Sit. You look half-dead."

"It's the lights," she muttered, ordering another tonic, even though hers was only half empty. She didn't take risks with possibly doped drinks. "It's like being on some drug."

"I can see that," he commented. She gulped half the glass, and then turned to him.

"So when are you going to insist on your turn?" she asked playfully.

"When you've got some of that spirit back, lady love," he teased, "Wouldn't want you to faint like a regular damsel in distress."

But she missed that last line. Something about that...lady love...it was vaguely familiar. A single look at the lights sent a shock straight down her spine, and she jumped into a memory.

Some Lunarian noble was wrapped around her arm, chattering in a smooth, velvety voice, when she caught sight of _him. _That famous Terran general, standing at the back of the ballroom, refusing the crowd of noblewomen around him. She tried not to feel relieved at that. When he hadn't responded to any of her usual enticements, she'd been horribly offended. What kind of man said no to the goddess of love? But he, with his silvery blond hair and icy blue eyes, had looked her in the eyes, not a glance at her attire or her figure, and informed the Venusian princess he was not interested in dancing with her. It appeared he wasn't interested in dancing period. But he did present something unique...a challenge.

So she tried, and tried, and tried. He ignored her, rejected her, and ridiculed her. She was about ready to rip her hair out, either that or dance naked into his temporary quarters. Serenity had advised against both of them, trying to explain that Prince Endymion's right hand man was a solemn, single-minded man. And that his mind was dedicated entirely to Prince Endymion's well-being.

So for the moment, she surrendered to his imperturbable scorn. With more gusto than ever before, she threw herself into tryst after tryst, none lasting more than a week. But increasingly, they all bored her. Their flattery, their wandering hands, their lewd comments, even their servility! The more she tried to ignore Lord Kunzite, the more she couldn't, and it infuriated her.

Why should she want him who cared nothing for her? Why should she want such a dull, rigid soldier as her lover? She couldn't fathom it for the life of her. The Venusian princess vowed to lay siege to the impenetrable castle. Unfortunately, she had no idea how.

"Aino-san," Hayubusa was calling, "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," she muttered, "I was just a little woozy. I didn't do anything crazy like faint, did I?" _Oh crud. _Aphrodite was curled up, stunned in the back of her mind. It looked like she didn't remember any more than Minako herself did.

"No, you just zoned out for about ten minutes," Hayubusa-san shrugged. _Great, now he thinks I'm crazy._

"I'm so sorry," she apologized. _Damn. He was the best of the four._

"Not a problem," he nodded. "Can I call in my dance now?" Minako gave him a delighted smile.

"You most certainly may, Hayubusa-san," she leapt off the stool, snagging his hand as she went.

"Takuya," he offered impulsively. So, from complete strangers to a first name basis? It was just the kind of crazy Minako loved.

"Let's go, then--Takuya." And with a firm tug, he was running into the sea of psychedelic lights and lurid faces. _Kunzite..._ That left a lot of questions--way too many to suit her and enough to rattle Aphrodite. She might have to take Usagi up on that call after all.


	13. To Revive A Bygone Bond

so, i've been getting two questions pretty frequently. the first is why i chose Hecate as Rei's true name. some people think Hestia, or maybe Aries is more logical. here's my reasoning: 1) Aries is a god and even though Mars is the senshi of war, i didn't want to deviate from the goddess theme, 2) Hestia is the goddess of the hearth and home, which, while fire-based, seems a little tame for temperamental Rei, 3) Hecate is the goddess of magic, which is Rei's strong suit among the senshi's special skills (prediction powers, communing with the Great Fire, creating charms, etc.). the second question has been "did Minako meet the four shitennou reincarnated?". all i have to say is: c'mon, give me credit for some plot work. after all, subtlety is far more interesting. and now for the story...

0-0-0-0

Usagi twirled in her little black dress, enjoying the flare of the silky skirts. She couldn't remember the last time she got to wear black. And Mamo-chan was taking her out to dinner! Which reminded her--he was waiting. _Oops._ **Let's not keep Endymion waiting.** Usagi agreed heartily, sliding her petite feet into the black flip-flop heels.

"Usako, are you almost rea--" She flung the door open, belatedly realizing she might have hit him. The thunk she heard made her very concerned.

"Mamo-chan?" she called with a timid peek into the living room.

"Right here, Usako." He leaned from around the door. "I almost didn't catch the door that time," he chuckled.

"Sorry," she muttered sheepishly, blushing just the slightest bit.

"Not a problem at all," he grinned, "My reflexes are getting better by the day." His smile was contagious. Her eyes swept him over as she took his hand, not that she really needed to. After all, this was Tuxedo Mask they were talking about. Subtract the cape, the mask, and the hat and that was Mamo-chan. _**Still, it doesn't hurt to look.**_

"You look lovely, Usako," he pronounced, giving her a delicate spin, "Let's be going. Our reservation is for 7:30 and it's already 7."

"I thought it was for 7," Usako scrunched up her brow.

"We'd never have made it if I had said 7:30," he teased. **And somehow, I don't even care if he's right. **_Me neither._

"That's not very nice," she reached up and poked him in the nose for effect. "Have I mentioned you look very handsome?"

"Why thank you." He held the door open. "After you, love."

"My Prince. Ever the gentleman," she giggled, pulling him toward the elevator as he tried to lock to door.

"That's king to you," he informed her.

"Oh don't start with that, _your majesty,_" she scolded mockingly. Propping herself on the gold railings of the elevator, she leaned back to smile up into her Mamo-chan's face.

**How did we ever get so lucky?** Serenity murmured in awe. _Not a clue, _Usagi replied, enjoying the solitude of the elevator.

The bing of their arrival interrupted her reverie as she followed Mamo-chan out the door to the garage and climbed into the black sports car. She heard the key turn in the ignition as she pulled her seat belt across her lap. Then the murmur of voices from the speakers faded. Mamo-chan listened to the news every morning on the way to the hospital.

Twenty minutes later, they were parked on level five of the parking garage across the street. Usagi climbed from the passenger side, snagging her purse from the floorboard. Slipping her hand into Mamo-chan's with the ease of long practice, she matched her stride to his.

"Mamo-chan?"

"Yes?"

"You know I would have been fine with eating in, right?"

"You'd be happy as long as you were eating," he teased.

"You forgot 'with you'," Usagi smiled. "That's the most important part. But you do know that, right? You don't have to spoil me."

"Usako," he let go of her hand to slide his around her waist. Usagi leaned into the embrace. "It's impossible to avoid spoiling you. Especially tonight."

_Tonight? What does he mean? __**It's not any of our anniversaries.**_** Are you sure? **_I thought I'd gotten them all on the calendar. _**Maybe it's from the Silver Millennium... **_You think? __**Could it be...?**_

"Oh," she gasped. "Tonight's the night we met!"

"Usako, we celebrated that four months ago." She had an inkling that he was trying to throw her off.

"No, the night we met on the Moon," she whispered, running her free hand down the lapels of his tux.

"That's right," he breathed. "How could I pass up the opportunity to celebrate that?" She looked up at his contented expression.

"How indeed," she nodded, "I wouldn't have thought you'd remember. It was over a millennium ago."

"A mere day," he corrected. Despite the cheesy romantic cliche, Usagi smiled widely. After all, lots of cliches were very very true. _**Especially this one.**_

They had to pause their conversation as Mamo-chan spoke to the hostess, and they were escorted promptly to a corner candlelit table. Mamo-chan held out the chair for her as she sat down. He joined her across the table, and they commenced upon a silent admiration of one another. Her eyes took in Mamo-chan's svelte form, his darkened ocean eyes, his night black hair spilling over into his face. _**How did we get so lucky?**_

"I swear, Usako, that you get lovelier by the day," he smiled gently--just a small upturn of the corners of his mouth. He reached his hand across the table in an invitation. She gladly took it, enjoying the smooth of his thumb running back and forth across the back of her hand. She squeezed his hand.

"I've always said you were perfect, absolutely perfect," she sighed. He shook his head in mild amusement.

"Hello, I'll be your server tonight. Some drinks to get you started? Could I interest you in anything from the wine list?" a sweet dark-haired woman appeared beside them.

"A bottle of champagne," Mamo-chan replied, looking up to her.

"Celebrating something?" she asked kindly.

"The day we met," Usagi breathed. She watched the woman's eyes light up as she noticed the rings on their hands.

"Congratulations, then," she smiled. "I'll be right back with that."

"Thank you," Mamo-chan nodded. "Usako..."

"I love you too," she smiled brightly.

A few minutes after their champagne had arrived, Mamo-chan proposed a toast. "To love that lasts lifetimes," he raised his glass.

"To _our _love," she returned and clinked their glasses. After a fizzy sip, she set the glass down. "Speaking of love that lasts through death and into life again, what are we going to do about the shitennou?"

"They're awake," he confirmed. "If you can convince me there's good reason, I'll call them to order. I just thought you might want to give your senshi more time to remember."

"I'd love to..." Usagi stopped, remembering talking to Ami. "But I don't think I could bear it. I called Ami yesterday. She was crying because she remembered marrying Zoicite. Now that she knew, she couldn't imagine living without him." Mamo-chan's expression turned thoughtful.

"They won't be sad when they remember how they died," he sighed, "They'll lash out. Violently."

"Not if I talk to them first," Usagi argued. _**I will do this for them.**_ "After all, nobody's explained to them that Beryl raised their corpses to use as soldiers."

"And in this life?" He didn't look about to back down.

"I've already explained that to Ami a little and to Rei in detail. Knowing Minako, I'll have a call any day now, and once it occurs to Makoto, I'll _know_," she explained, referencing the link.

"You say it as if it will be easy," he sighed, obviously troubled.

"Would I ask it of you if I weren't certain that it needed to happen, Taishakuten?" she pleaded.

There was a flicker of change in his eyes as he looked more closely through their link. She hoped he saw the pain, the sorrow she felt alongside her senshi and her desire to make things right, to restore. He remained thoughtful, eyes averted, playing with the gold chain of his pocket watch.

"No, Selene, you would not," he turned his burning gaze back to her. She shivered. "If you wish it of me, Serenity, I will do it for you. But I would like it if you would give me some time to repair the bond."

"Thank you, love," she laid her hand atop it now. "I cannot imagine what work that will be for you."

"And you will keep their return secret?" He was so serious. **With good reason. This is a risky move, Usagi.** _Would you have done it any other way? __**Of course we wouldn't have,**_ they nearly laughed.

"Of course, Endymion..." She looked inquisitively at him. He was so somber now. "Are you angry, love?"

He startled at that. "No, never with you, Serenity. The whole matter troubles me, but I trust you, and that you--"

"Wouldn't ask if it weren't the right thing to do?" She smiled hesitantly.

"Exactly."

"When then?" She could barely contain her excitement, even though she understood that this was a serious matter.

"Tonight, on the roof of the building," he offered.

"Tonight." It all sounded so conspiratorial, like they were two spies. There was a brief silence, the heavy kind that Usagi wasn't used to having with Mamo-chan. Just as it was about to become uncomfortable, her stomach grumbled. "Um...not to um...make light of things...but can we order?"

Mamo-chan broke out into laughter. The Moon princess grinned, not at all abashed. After all, what was a little fumble in manners if it meant Mamo-chan was smiling again? _**Completely worth it.**_


	14. Rooftop Reunions

Usagi tugged the jeans over her thighs, smothering giggles as she heard Mamo-chan jumping up and down to get his on. They'd decided to change because it might take a while. After all, Mamo-chan didn't use the golden crystal very often. That and the roof got pretty windy. She yanked a white, scoop-neck sweater top over her head. After checking her buns to make sure they hadn't fallen out, she dug in the closet for a pair of white flats.

"Mamo-chan, sweetie, do you know where my white flats are?"

"Bathroom," he grunted. "And my gray--"

"Folded laundry in the living room." She heard him stomp out to the living room. He reappeared minutes later, dressed in a loose gray long-sleeved shirt and dark blue jeans.

"Ready to go?"

She nodded and grabbed his hand. They were nearly running to the roof. _It's funny how two hours ago we would have been dragging our feet, _Usagi noted. **You've made a decision together, **Serenity pointed out. **You'll carry it through no matter what. **Usagi nodded to herself as she pulled Mamo-chan up the stairs to the roof. He kept pace with her, or at least she assumed that he did because she didn't hear any cries of pain.

Breathless, she arrived on the bare concrete rooftop. Looking up, she saw the skies were amazingly clear and bright.

"Nephrite must be in a good mood," Mamo-chan threw out. She heard the twinge of longing in his voice, felt its throb in their link.

"We will bring them back to you, Taishakuten. I promise," she whispered, wrapping her arms around his waist. She hazarded a glance up at his face and was surprised to see the traces of tears. "Let's call your brothers home, love."

He followed her out to the center of the rooftop, relinquishing the leadership for now. Holding her hands outstretched, the Moon princess tilted her head back to revel in the soft glow of the full Moon. _I didn't know it was a full Moon tonight. How ironic._ Her body drank in the light's cool caress as she closed her eyes. Her skin prickled with magic as she called it forth--the silver crystal. Flinging her arms heavenward, she felt its power cascade downward, covering her in a shimmering curtain of light. As it faded, Serenity smiled. The crystal winked out of being.

"Come, love," she beckoned. Mamo-chan walked toward her, and each footstep brought rising waves of gold. They coiled themselves around him, coalescing in the palm of his hand.

The golden crystal hummed, and a bright flash wiped away all traces of mortality as a violet-clad Endymion took his place beside her.

He held the thrumming crystal between his hands, and Serenity slipped her right hand onto his shoulder and her left over his left. The Moon princess grinned when she saw their rings had carried over.

"Ready?"

"Always," Serenity affirmed.

"Come home, brothers...Your king calls," rang Endymion's commanding voice. The flow of magic in their link surged, filling Serenity's veins with molten gold.

"Your queen beckons you," she whispered, adding her power to his, tendrils of silver. They locked gazes.

_**"Return, shitennou."**_

The silence was long as they continued pouring their power into the search. Serenity squeezed Endymion's shoulder as she felt his doubt rise. "Have faith, love," she murmured. "You called--they will come."

The wait seemed endless, and then the air before them twinkled, just a bit. Minute by minute, the sparkling grew, like gold dust dancing on the wind. Anticipation swelled in their link, the crashing of tidal waves. The specks filled out four human-like shapes, and fused with a brilliant flash.

As it cleared, Serenity identified the four. She felt, rather than saw Endymion's crystal vanish into his staff. It was a good idea, she concluded, to show the shitennou just how much had changed in this life. She held out her left hand and her scepter shimmered into being. Stepping closer to Endymion, she dropped her hand from his shoulder to his back. There were moments, even as Queen of the coming era, that she felt so powerless. _There's nothing I can do for him besides offer him my support._ She could feel the tense muscles in his back as he examined the four bewildered men in front of him.

"Shitennou." They fell straight into formation, Kunzite and Jadeite in the foreground and Zoicite and Nephrite behind them. Serenity was already shocked before they dropped to one knee, fists over their hearts. Now her jaw nearly dropped in surprise. Luckily, all Luna's training kicked in, and she remained composed.

"Brothers." Oh kami-sama, she could hear the strain in Endymion's voice. "You have been awake for a while. Why didn't you...?" He couldn't seem to finish the sentence.

"We were ashamed," murmured a quiet Jadeite.

"It seemed wrong for us to return when we didn't deserve to be forgiven," Zoicite added.

"Nephrite? Kunzite?"

"The same, master," Nephrite nodded. Serenity was amazed that none of them had even attempted to make eye contact.

"Kunzite?"

"It is an accurate description, your majesty," the solemn man agreed.

The rooftop fell into silence as Endymion viewed his bowed men without a word. Fed up with all five, Serenity raised her voice and announced, "You were wrong." Endymion gave her a confused look. She merely patted his shoulder blade.

"About what, your majesty?" Zoicite asked. Why wouldn't any of them look up?

"There's no such thing as beyond forgiveness," Serenity explained, looking to Endymion for support.

"Serenity is right," he sighed, as though she'd lifted a great burden off his shoulders. She gave him a sweet smile of reassurance as he stepped toward them. "We forgave you years ago," Endymion explained. "Neither Serenity nor I hold anything against you."

They looked up, startled into the action. Serenity smiled at their barely hopeful expressions. _**Did they really think we would hold a grudge that long?**_

"Grief turns us into people we don't recognize, love," Endymion murmured from ahead of her. She'd forgotten he could do that with the link.

"Majesty, what...?" questioned Jadeite.

"Serenity didn't understand why you thought we would hold a grudge," Endymion smiled.

"We _did _fail you, majesty, and _then_ betray our allegiance the second time around," Nephrite smiled sadly.

"Regardless, you are still my men. Better than that, my brothers, and I am glad to have you here."

"We are grateful for your grace, majesty," Kunzite spoke. "We pledge our allegiance once more to your throne." They resumed the kneeling pose until Endymion told them to rise. Serenity stepped back as her husband welcomed his men like long-lost brothers. _**Which is exactly what they are.**_

They embraced, clapped one another on the back, and laughed with joy. Serenity looked on with a contented smile and a discontented heart. _**My poor senshi. What I wouldn't give to see them this happy again.**_

"Serenity," Endymion extended a hand to her. She grasped it and was pulled to his side.

"Majesty," they all nodded and murmured in turn.

Serenity found the address to be one of the more awkward things she'd experienced. That in mind, she rid herself of the scepter with a flick of her wrist and her transformation vanished. "Not majesty," she smiled hesitantly, "Chiba Usagi." The smile became a grin. She nudged her husband in the side with her elbow, and by the time she turned around, he was Chiba Mamoru again.

"Chiba Mamoru," he shrugged, the gesture far too casual for the joy spinning in their link. She smiled at them warmly.

"Welcome home." They took that as a cue to shed uniforms not worn for a millennium.

"Saito Wataru," Nephrite offered her his hand. She shook it, taking in the nice dress shirt and slacks and the shoulder-length hair. _**Interesting difference.**_ "I'm the head of the Sciences department at Tokyo U."

"Very nice, Wataru-kun," she used a familiar address, which she hoped was an obvious sign she hated formalities. "Good telescopes I hope." He laughed, surprised she had remembered that much.

"You would find someplace you could see the entire night sky," Mamo-chan chuckled. Wataru-kun just nodded.

"Yoshida Satoru," Zoicite smiled brightly in his gray jeans and dark blue shirt. His hair was exactly the same. _**Ami-chan will be happy.**_ "Freelance computer consultant." _**So appropriate.**_

"Good to meet you, Satoru-kun," she and Mamo-chan said in unison, and looking at each other, smiled.

"Takahashi Keiji," Kunzite offered quietly. His silvery blond hair was cropped so it could just barely be pulled back at the base of his neck--not at all like the Kunzite she remembered. Impeccably dressed in slacks, dress shoes, button-down shirt and tie, he must be someone important. "I work in the D.A.'s office."

"Very like you, Keiji," Mamo-chan nodded with a half-smile.

"And you, Jadeite?" Usagi turned to the unusually quiet man. He was wearing a skin-tight red shirt, black leather choker and black jeans with a single silver chain.

"Hayubusa Takuya," he smiled half-heartedly, and Usagi had a flash of intuition.

"Don't tell me," she held out her hand. "Model." He nodded. "You know about Venus then."

"I was at her party last night," he shoved his hands in his pockets. Four sets of eyes fixed on them--Usagi was already examining him. "I danced with her."

"You what?" Keiji-kun growled, eyes narrowing. He looked about ready to rip his comrade's throat out.

Takuya took a few steps back, hands up defensively. "So did like ten other guys. Everybody wanted to dance with Ai!"

"That was dangerous, Takuya-kun," Usagi reprimanded sternly.

"Just Takuya, and I know, Chiba-san," he looked sheepish. "I couldn't help it. I wanted to know how different they would be."

Usagi smiled at him sympathetically. "Usagi-chan will be fine, Takuya. And I understand." _**I can't believe Minako didn't notice a thing! Thank kami-sama for that!**_

"Be grateful you're alive," Mamo-chan muttered worriedly, "It could have gone...badly...if she'd recognized you." Naturally--true though they were--those words put a damper on the high spirits of the reunion. From Usagi's standpoint, it looked like the shitennou were in the mood to pelt her Mamo-chan with questions, and the rooftop was not the place to do it.

"Why don't you all come downstairs?" Usagi offered sweetly, gesturing toward the door. "I'll fix tea and pull out some of Mako-chan's--Jupiter's--cookies. There's a lot left to talk about."

Mamo-chan wordlessly agreed and slipped his arm around her waist, turning to head downstairs. "Last one in closes the door," he called back. Several seconds later she heard it slam. She sighed--not a bored or irritated sigh, but the kind that acknowledged a mess to be dealt with. _**Kami-sama, help us to make the right choices--and help my senshi to be forgiving,**_ she added as an afterthought.


	15. Anger, Amazement, Attraction?

hey, girls!

so, i found that i had half a chapter finished, so this was easier to get out. the next one won't be near so easy, but i'll keep trying. _Please Review!!_ it will mean a lot to me, seeing as it's hard enough to find time to write. encouragement goes a long way. enjoy!

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It was just an hour or so past midday when Mars left the training grounds. Striding down the marble halls, high heels clacking noticeably, she made for her room. She couldn't wait to strip down and soak her thoroughly drained body in a nice warm bath. In one of her post-training highs, very little could bring the Martian princess down from her bright mood. Unfortunately, that very little consisted of one Lord Jadeite who just happened to be lounging against the wall up ahead. Steeling herself, the senshi of war smiled politely and slowed her gait. _Be civil. Be civil. Don't rip the bastard's head off, _she chanted mentally, balling the fist facing away from him.

"Good afternoon, Lord Jadeite," she nodded. He said nothing, just continued staring cooly at the opposite wall. Her temper flared, and she spun around. "Is there a particular reason you enjoy ignoring me?" she growled, all courtesy thrown to the wind.

Wait? Did his lips just quirk upward when she said that? _By the Moon what's so amusing?! _Fury, perhaps a touch unreasonable, exploded through her veins. As a result, her mental filter malfunctioned: "Are you amused by the fact that you annoy me?" she roared, half-lunging at him before remembering herself.

He turned those gorgeous, bright blue eyes toward her and grinned, not saying a word. How could he stand there so completely calm, arms crossed nonchalantly across his chest?! It was getting harder by the day to resist the impulse to acquaint his face with her fist. In fact, she was on the verge of making introductions right now.

And suddenly, she was reminded of her Princess, who would have told her to mind her manners and ignore him. She shook her head to clear it and lowered her proverbial hackles. "I'm sorry," she murmured stiffly. "I appear to have taken leave of my senses. My apologies, Lord Jadeite."

Mars heard his soft chuckle as she started out toward her room once more. She allowed herself to scowl now that her back was turned. If she could make it to the end of this hall, she might--

"Lady Mars," she heard him call. She didn't turn around. "You're absolutely gorgeous when you're angry," he threw out casually.

She froze.

Her mind went blank, absolutely dead blank. _What the hell?_ And then she was absolutely livid, ready to dash back down the hall and strangle some sense out of him. _How dare he say I'm beautiful when I'm angry! _With all her willpower, she set her shoulders, marched down the hall, and rounded a corner. He would _not_ get the best of her!

Of course, her resolve proved absolutely pointless when she realized her cheeks were burning.

"Damn him," she whispered.

... ... ... ... ...

Rei opened her eyes to see a white ceiling in the dim light of her room. Soft pillow beneath her, she tried to process that last memory. "What did he...?" He'd called her beautiful--and she'd reacted. Oh kami-sama, it was going to take her days to figure this one out. _Hecate?_ she reached out, sinking into her magic. Warm flames crackled around her as she met her past self. The usually solemn Martian was smiling, not in Usagi's bright way, but the sort of wistful kind Minako wore when watching Usagi and Mamoru. _Why are you smiling?_ she burst out. This was just too much. **I'm smiling? **the Martian princess gave her a bewildered look as the wistful expression vanished from her face. _You were. _**How odd. Is something wrong?**

It was disturbing how detached Hecate was from almost everything. Rei felt something about most everything--not that she told the whole world that. Had she really been this unflappable person? But then Hecate had just proven she wasn't emotionless either. Rei was so confused. She missed the simplicity of of two months ago, before she had remembered all these things. It had been so much easier--living, that is.

She thought about that question: was something wrong? No, she decided and informed Hecate. Opening her eyes, she stared at the ceiling once more, trying to draw on Hecate's calm. She had to figure this one out for herself. Why was Jadeite able to rattle her so easily? What did it matter what he thought of her?

The questions were playing a game of tag in her head, tumbling about and preventing her from any semblance of rest. And she needed to rest--she had work bright and early in the morning. She rolled over with a groan, peering at her alarm. 4:47 the clock blinked. She heaved a weary sigh and hauled herself up. So much for a restful night. She had to be up in two hours or so anyway. Throwing back her covers, Rei clambered from her bed and flipped the switch on the nearest lamp. She continued her route around the room, turning on lamps, pausing to switch her stereo on to some soft rock music. Might as well get up now.

In the shower, she stood and let the hot water cascade down her back. It did something to soothe her, at least as far as tension went. She didn't linger, but padded barefoot through her room, searching for clothes. Clad in a knee-length black skirt and a crisp white blouse, she checked her appearance in a mirror. _I wish I could just wear jeans, _she frowned. _Today feels like one of those days I should call in sick and spend eating chocolate with Usa._ Corporate clothing was such a hassle. In a decidedly grumpy mood, Rei tramped into her kitchen and made a nice, steaming pot of black tea.

Fifteen minutes later the clock read 6:02 and she was fiddling with her teacup. The apartment was eerily silent, and though she'd tried turning on both radio and TV, nothing seemed to help. Eventually, the background noise became grating, and she'd shut it off--which left her here, in the silence, trying to find something to focus on that wasn't going to make her lose it.

Setting her cup on the countertop, she propped her head on her elbows and attempted to breathe slowly, deeply, and evenly. _Damn him for throwing me so off balance._ **What kind of kami-sama was fool enough to put him in our path? **Hecate muttered in the background. Rei suppressed a gasp--Hecate was actually talking? _Why does he bother me so much? _**You mean why does he bother ****us**** so much. As for the answer to that, I don't know. There's something about him that just crawls under my skin. Or crawled. **_Why him though? Just what is it about him? __**I only wish I knew.**_

Rei fought back the urge to dig her fingers into her hair in frustration; she didn't want to have to fix it. Clenching those fingers around her forearms, she laid her arms on the table and her head on top of them. Glancing about, she chose the first thing in sight to try to distract herself, following the sweeping brushstrokes of the calligraphy her grandfather had made for her new apartment. The dark brushstrokes swung this way and that and the dots flitted about like tiny crows...

... ... ... ... ...

The flames threw bright heat onto her face and arms as she knelt on the wooden floor of her shrine. Queen Serenity had commissioned this to be built to accommodate the practices of the Martian princess. Phobos and Deimos, her beloved attendants, perched on the magnificent torii outside. Their cawing was unnecessary; she had noticed him as soon as he crossed into her domain. The fire in her veins began throbbing and crackling, demanding she make an example of him. Who was he to cross onto sacred ground without permission? She nearly bit her lip through to hold herself in place.

_Fool!_ Hecate screeched as she felt his foot slip over the boundary into the haiden. Phobos and Deimos were making enough of a racket to have scared away anyone else. By the Moon! Why did he think he was allowed there? She could hear him now, shuffling about, pausing to look at this or that. _Is he oblivious to the magic here?_ she wondered. She couldn't fathom any other explanation for his stupidity.

And then everything was silent.

_Did he leave?_ But she heard no receding footsteps. With a frustrated shake of her head, she returned to the Fire, continuing to seek after its great knowledge. Perhaps it could tell her something of the darkness she saw curled around the Silver Millennium's chief star. But rather than delivering to her a suitable answer, the Fire spat flickers of light nearly into her eyes, forcing her to close them. It was rarely this temperamental. As if to make a point, it cracked loudly, splitting its logs, and she was jolted.

_What_ was the matter? And then she noticed it. There was another...presence. Yes, that was the best word to describe it. She closed her eyes once more, and realized in awe that this was what the Fire had been attempting to tell her. Hecate examined the shrine's grounds with unseeing eyes. There were no major sources of magic, no threats she perceived. But then she merely tilted of her head and was blinded. She clapped her hands over her closed eyes, an instinctual reaction that did her no good at all. Spiritual senses that usually only confronted lesser powers were buried in the deluge of power pouring from the presence. She glanced away, returning to the wonder by using her peripheral vision. The very essence of the power felt... alike... and yet... opposite. In its nature, it appealed to hers, leading Hecate to believe they were both powers under the ordinances of the Sacred Fires.

Unconsciously, she rose to her feet and turned toward the haiden. The honden was separated from the haiden by two simple sliding doors with white glazed glass instead of paper. She gripped the inside edge of one and wondered at what she was doing. Her crimson tresses swept neatly across the shoulders of her cream kimono, spilling down to her gold obi. She felt more than curious... this was compulsion, pure and simple and utterly nonsensical. Using all her restraint, she gently pulled the door back to reveal that which nearly sent her into a fit.

Lord Jadeite, garbed in a rich maroon kimono with a black obi, knelt, palms flat on his thighs in the exact fashion she had been not minutes ago. Hecate was furious with him, and she couldn't even come up with a reason. Damn him. All the reasonable arguments for fricasseeing him had just been whisked away: he was obeying all the rules, following all the traditions. He hadn't even opened his eyes upon her entrance. She _wanted_ permission to flame him! And she didn't want to think about what it meant that he was here. But, of course, her mind proved very rebellious.

_Jadeite...here...in the shrine...dressed as priest...and that power...and the traditions...wait, what? Jadeite and priest shouldn't even be in the same sentence! He's the most irreverent son of bitch I know! Why, kami-sama, why does he have as much of the Fires in him as I do? Does that make us..._ she growled at the thought... _equals?!_

"Mars." She turned her gaze on the man who was examining her quite closely and with a look she didn't know quite what to do with. He appeared genuinely... serious, if that was possible. "You have my deepest apologies for intruding on your sacred grounds, but to go an entire week with the absence of a shrine has been, for me, greatly disconcerting."

The Martian princess was certain she looked very dismayed about the whole matter, which she knew was not befitting a miko confronting a brother of the Fires.

He continued, kindly ignoring the complete lack of courtesy on her part, and asked, "If, as this shrine's miko, it does not offend you, might I remain for a while?" She paused for a moment, trying to absorb this new aspect of the arrogant, shallow man she'd presumed Jadeite to be. Apparently, she was far more judgmental than she had originally realized, for the kindness and courtesy of his request was more than she would have expected from any of the sisters back home.

For her to ignore this would be a great evil on her part, one she could not bear to commit. "Come, brother," Hecate allowed the bitter words to tumble from her lips, "What is mine is yours as well. The Sacred Fires recognize no distinction between us."

He looked suitably bewildered, as though what he expected had been a fist in the face or a vicious burn. She did her best to school her expression into a serene half-smile. Though she balked at being asked to share her place of observance, she would not refuse an equal, although she balked at the idea of them being equals as well. She had been raised to strictly observe the ordinances of the Sacred Fires, and if that meant welcoming the 'enemy' into her home, so be it.

He recovered himself quickly, rising to follow her into the honden, closing the door gently behind him. They knelt side by side, barely an arms length between them. Finely honed spiritual senses twisted and became nigh uncontrollable with such a great well of power beside her. After many minutes attempting to gather herself enough to meditate, Hecate concluded that just... perhaps... just perhaps, mind you... she had been _wrong._ She stifled a sigh. Curses!--this was going to complicate everything.

... ... ... ... ...

Rei woke with a gasp and nearly fell off the bar stool. She gripped the counter tightly, trying not to faint. This was just too much to process. _Jadeite was a priest, a brother of the Sacred Fires. _**How could we have known?** _I feel like we should have guessed. This changes things, doesn't it?_ the bewildered girl asked Hecate. **Everything. It changes everything. Earth was more... involved in the weightier magics than I had thought. To have had a brother of the Sacred Fires, and serving the crown prince! **_What does it mean?_

**Metallia was very powerful to be able to turn him. **Rei realized how true it was. If Jadeite had fallen prey, she could have fallen just as easily. They were equal. Her spine rippled with anger at that. _We were NOT equal. _**But we were, **Hecate countered, sounding equally perturbed. **And Jadeite was... **_**not what we expected.**_

Rei glanced at the oven. 7: 43. She had forty-five minutes until she should be in the office. She slid off the stool to fetch her keys and nearly tripped. Gripping the counter's drywall pillar for support, she swore. Her legs were shaking. She carefully loosed a hand from the pillar; it shook too. Lowering herself carefully to the ground, she dug her phone from the pocket of her skirt. "1, send."

"Hello, Fujita-san speaking," a bright voice answered.

"Hi, Yuuki-san. It's Rei. I'm not coming in today; I can't even get out of bed." Rei frowned; she didn't even have to make something up. "You're going to have to stand in. I know you'll do a thorough job."

"Of course, Rei-san," Yuuki replied. "You can count on me. I hope you feel better soon."

"Thanks. Bye." Rei pushed "end." Carefully righting herself using the pillar, Rei slowly made her way back to the bedroom. "Looks like I'm wearing those jeans today after all," she enjoyed an ironic half-smile.

Ten minutes later, she was in her comfiest pair of jeans and a red camisole on her fluffy queen sized bed. She'd settled for sitting indian style because she didn't think her legs would take the more traditional pose. Entering into a meditative trance, she came face to face with Hecate.

_You said it changes everything. What does that mean? _**He might have...** Hecate paused for a moment and Rei started to grow frustrated. **He might have reincarnated. Bearers of the Sacred Fires never leave the cycle. **_But he reincarnated once already. And we killed him. _The pang that struck her in her chest was far sharper than she thought it should be. **He was a brother. It is harder to accept that you were forced to kill one of your own, **Hecate consoled. Rei nodded. **And while he has reincarnated once in this lifetime, there is no cosmic rule regulating the number of reincarnations within a particular span of time.**

Rei gasped, eyes flying open. _So he could... __**be here? Yes. Alive and well. **__Should we be worried? _**He would be one of Endymion's this time around, **Hecate murmured. _**So he would be good.**_ A rush of relief nearly knocked Rei over. _That's __**good. **_**Indeed.**

It bothered Rei, like an itch she couldn't scratch that she didn't know more. She wasn't a humble person, so this was hard. "Hecate...I...could you help me? Access our Silver Millennium powers again? I want to...know more." The miko said nothing, but Rei found that sinking back into meditation was simpler. That must have been a yes.

... ... ... ... ...

Since that first day, Jadeite had visited her shrine nearly every day after until the Terrans had had to depart. And then, when they visited again the following month, he came every day. By that time, Mars had grown accustomed to his company, somewhat more familiar with his playful barbs. She didn't let it show; kami-sama forbid she play nicely with Jadeite, be he a brother or not. But now, two and a half weeks after their second visit, she missed him. _Gah, why do I miss him? He was infuriating, moronic, and...and..._ She couldn't think of anything else. Goodness, where had her senses gone? Only two unkind things to say about Jadeite?

She was brooding on a balcony bench when Venus burst through the double doors, allowing them to slam into the stone.

"What is it, Venus?" Mars was on her feet, trying to shake some sense out of her leader.

"Serenity's gone."

Mars' panic fell by more than a few degrees. "Off to see Endymion again I take it?" Serenity could be so irresponsible. One of these days, she was going to get lost in those woods.

"You want me to go get her." Mars didn't even bother to make it a question.

"Yes."

"I'll bring her back as soon as she can be persuaded to return. Otherwise, I'll just have to keep chasing her back all afternoon," Mars noted Venus' irritated expression. Well, it was the truth. Serenity was a stubborn girl.

"Alright. Go. I don't like the thought of her being on Earth without one of us." Mars didn't either so she hurried to the Mercurian teleporter Serenity was oddly good at using. She imagined Zoicite had told her a thing or two to help her along the way. Really! What was the matter with Endymion's shitennou? They were far too supportive of the Moon princess's misbehavior.

Pushing the correct coordinates into the computer, she went to stand on the translucent blue disc. "Mars power!" Her soft coral dress vanished into her sailor fuku and then she vanished.

As she floated down to Earth in a protective bubble, she ran through the information Mercury had given her. Unbeknownst to Venus, Mercury had worked with Lord Zoicite to set up a particular meeting place for the Prince and Princess since Serenity kept sneaking away to see him anyway. Then she ran through the rotation of the shitennou. Prince Endymion always had one with him, a precaution he had said; she had the feeling they wouldn't have left his side if he had ordered it. They were very loyal; that much she could respect. This week it was...Jadeite!

Quite pleased by the prospect, and a little less irritated with Serenity--after all, the Moon princess had provided her with a wonderful opportunity to see him--Mars landed gracefully on Earth. Using the miniature computer Mercury had given her as a gift--it was much less powerful than Mercury's but still useful--she walked to the precise coordinates.

There she found Serenity sitting on Prince Endymion's lap!--she tried not to gasp at the impropriety--with a somber Jadeite leaning against a nearby tree, trying to give them privacy, she presumed.

"Princess," she called, announcing herself.

"Ah! Mars!" Serenity turned, blushing bright pink. Ignoring her choice of seating, Mars replied, "It would be wise for you to come get one of us before coming down here. Prince Endymion's shitennou are only bound to protect him, and you have very little star power of your own--"

"Sorry!" Serenity interrupted. "I'll try to remember. You just all seem to get so mad at me."

"We'd rather you were safe," Mars replied. "You're going to give Venus another panic attack if you aren't careful." Mars heard the smothered chuckle, and didn't bother to turn. She agreed with Jadeite; Venus could be a little overprotective.

"I promise I'll ask next time," Serenity vowed, looking very serious. It was sweet how much she cared about the leading senshi's mental health.

"Prince Endymion," Mars turned just a bit and curtsied. "Good to see you."

"And you as well, Lady Mars," he turned to look at Jadeite. "Now you have company." It sounded almost like a retort to her.

"Fine." Was Jadeite scowling? "Come on, Lady Mars. The royal couple would like their privacy." He was definitely scowling. She resisted the urge to laugh.

With a look at her princess, who nodded, she followed him out of the wooded clearing and into another. He found another tree to lean against, still scowling.

"Good to see you too," she intoned dryly. He turned to look at her abruptly.

"My apologies, Lady Mars. Endymion interrupted my daily meditation to come here."

Mars winced. It was not a pleasant experience to have someone intrude on a sacred ritual.

"I understand," was all she offered him. Anything more and he would think she was behaving oddly. She found a soft patch underneath a beautiful maple and sat, legs tucked beneath her.

A few minutes later, she decided the grass was too itchy and she'd rather have her long dress back. With a quick motion, she returned to her formal wear, legs happily covered. With a sigh, she leaned back into the tree and closed her eyes. There was something soothing about simply being in his presence. _How, by the moon, do I find his presence soothing? Just over a month ago, I would have been looking for an excuse to set him on fire! _She was thoroughly irritated with herself. Why couldn't she just make sense? Why, oh why, oh why?

Needless to say, she was so preoccupied with her Jadeite trouble, that she never saw it coming. Her eyes fluttered open when she felt a warm pair of lips against hers and realized she was blocked from moving by two definitely male arms. She gasped and shoving him off, smacked him across the face.

"What the hell?" she growled.

He was grinning unabashedly, nursing the red mark with one hand as he met her furious gaze.

"Couldn't resist," he shrugged, as though he hadn't just kissed her! She stood up, holding onto the tree's bark for balance, and feeling somewhat vulnerable, scowled at him.

"Some gentleman you are!" she retorted.

"I never said I was attempting to be one," he returned.

"What is wrong with you?" she cried, confused, upset, and more than a little scared.

"I can't kiss the woman who occupies my every thought?" he grinned again, this time roguishly.

The sentence stopped every other thought running through Hecate's head. _Was that...a...a confession?_

"I...I...what?" she stuttered.

"Occupy my every thought," he repeated, roguish grin still in place.

"Oh," she murmured quietly, shocked. It _was_ a confession. And somehow, that made everything that came before alright and would make alright everything to follow.

He stepped up to her, sliding a gentle hand up to cup her cheek. She noticed the new warmth on her hip from his hand as he pulled her to him. He kissed softly, gently, like she was breakable, and it was the silliest idea in the world because she wasn't but then he-- "Oh!" she gasped as he slid the one hand up to the middle of her back and the other back into her unbound hair. He took full advantage of the opportunity, and suddenly, his tongue was in her mouth.

His fingers were massaging her scalp, running through her hair, sending brilliant little tingles down her spine in waves. She moaned. And then his mouth...his very hot, very talented mouth. He caressed the roof of her mouth with his tongue and her entire body spasmed, arms flying to his neck to support herself. Kami-sama, her legs weren't working anymore! She shuddered as he moved his mouth to ghost over her neck.

"Ohhh... Jadeite..." She could feel the satisfaction radiating off of him through her magic. Her cheeks flooded with blood. Damn him! Mars did not blush.

"At first," he murmured against her neck, "You were just a game." Her arms fell from his neck in shock; this was a game? He pressed his lips to the hollow behind her ear and she all but collapsed against him. He laughed softly. "And then you were a sacred sister. And then you were a captivating woman that I simply could not ignore. So I stopped trying to."

She somehow managed to gasp out through the shudders and shivers and waves of ecstasy, "It was--ah!--the same--for me!"

"Good," he murmured against her lips, and proceeded to kiss her more senseless than he had before.

... ... ... ... ...

Rei woke sprawled on her bed, fingers fisted in the coverlet beneath her.

"Ohhh!" she gasped. "I..." _**I was in love with Jadeite. And he loved me back. **__I...he wasn't supposed to be anyone important. How did he...__**do that?**_

_He kissed me. __**He **__**kissed**__** me. Oh kami-sama, what do I...?**_

Rei rolled onto her side and looked out at the blue sky. Her hand unconsciously made its way to her lips. They weren't swollen, but she knew that after that affair, they would have had to be.

He had nearly told her he was in love with her. Oh kami-sama what had she done! She would have been better off to have--**Not known? **Hecate replied irately. **We were in love with Jadeite. It would have...come out...soon enough. **_But he...and I...and Beryl! _**I know. But it doesn't change anything. **_**We were in love with Jadeite. And we... **__no that's not possible! _Rei wanted to shriek. _I can't! _But it was very hard to deny the pounding heart under her breastbone and the sigh just at the back of her throat. _I can't possibly be...__**no, I can't still be in love with him!**_

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_**please review.**_ (_it gets you more chapters, faster._) thanks for reading!

_torii--_the gateway to a traditional shinto shrine

_haiden_--the outer portion of the shrine, open to the common people generally (not in Mars' case)

_honden--_the inner portion of the shrine where the kami is usually enshrined (in Mars' case it is where she communes with the Sacred Fires)


	16. Attention!

_**ATTENTION! ATTENTION!**_

_Chapter 17 (Anger, Amazement, Attraction?) has a brand new section added to it...you have **Nyridian** to thank for that. wonderful as she is, she left me an encouraging review and some helpful constructive criticism (all the other chapters have small edits made now) and said she would have like to see Rei's reaction to the last memory. well, i got a little carried away, but i'm sure you won't mind. **so go back and reread it!**_

_love you all._

_-daughteroftheheavens_


	17. Inextricably Bound

I'M BACK!!!

and you thought i had died! well i don't blame you. my computer crashed halfway through this chapter and i got so discouraged i couldn't even begin to rewrite it. and then life happened and college got in the way. but, needless to say, you have been perfectly patient with me, for which i am extremely grateful. so, i hope this chapter at least serves as an apology for being gone so long. enjoy! (and PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE--_**REVIEW**_!)

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Ami strode gracefully alongside the bouncy Usagi as they walked down the street. Every now and then, Usagi would shriek with delight and proceed to drag her into another store. This was not what she had expected when she'd called Usagi, asking if they could meet sometime and talk. She thought there'd be tea involved and a table and not near so much walking.

"Usagi-chan, are you sure we can't just stop in a cafe?" Ami nearly pleaded.

"Retail therapy is very good for you, Ami-chan," Usagi turned around and waggled her finger in the Mercurian's face. _**Oh Serenity, **_the two minds sighed. _**Will you ever grow up? **_**Probably not, **Athena sounded exasperated. _She wouldn't be Serenity if she weren't so vivacious, _Ami conceded, but sometimes, just sometimes, Usagi's whirlwind of energy was more than she could take.

Looking around, Ami belatedly realized she'd lost sight of her friend. "Usagi?" she called.

"Over here, Ami!" a voice from behind her called.

"Where did you go?"

"The antique shop," Usagi's voice called. Wait! Hadn't she just walked by that? Ami spun on her heel and marched back to the tiny antique store. The gold bells on the door jangled as she opened the door to find the Moon princess bent over a jewelry case.

"What on earth are you looking for, Usagi-chan?"

"Something pretty," the blonde replied vaguely, eyes fixed on the case. The nice woman, who looked to be in her late forties, picked out the box Usagi was looking at and brought it up to the top of the case.

Her friend handled the slightly shiny object--Ami couldn't tell what it was because of the poor lighting, and informed the woman, "I'll take it."

"Very well, miss." The woman stepped to a tiny register and rang it up as Ami approached. Usagi heard her and spun around holding the item behind her back.

"You can't see it yet," she insisted, eyes bright. Ami just sighed and waited patiently for the money and wrapped box to be exchanged.

Usagi bounced over to her, grabbed her elbow and dragged her out the door, throwing a polite "thank you" over her shoulder.

"Usagi-chan, are we done now?" When Usagi's head snapped around, Ami realized her irritation was showing. She clapped a hand over her mouth and fought back the flush of embarrassment. _Why can't I ever keep my mouth shut when it counts? _**Because it's Serenity.**

"Ami, I--"

"I'm so sorry, Usa. It's just been a very rough day...err...week...month...or two. I didn't mean to snap at you," Ami ducked her head. _Usagi doesn't make me stupid,_ Ami sniped back at Athena. **But she does enable a person to be her whole self, to **_**bring to light faults and merits alike.**_Ami had a very vague recollection of saying that.

"Ami-chan, it can't be good for your health to keep that all bottled up inside," Usagi caught her by the shoulders. "You should see a doctor about that..."

Ami bit back a smile at the pathetically corny joke. "If you say so, Usagi-chan."

"Well, since talking to yourself would make you...um...I think Mamo-chan called it schizophrenic...then why don't you talk to me? Even though I'm only married to a doctor," the blonde grinned in her usual bubbly way, and Ami felt her spirits lifting just a bit. **Serenity has always had a gift for finding the brightest of the dark clouds. **_You mean the silver lining? _**No. She found something to be cheerful about when there were no so-called silver linings. "**_**In every situation, good can be made from intention and faith alone." That was awfully poetic for her.**_

"Usagi." Ami slid her hand down Usagi's arm to tangle their fingers and pulled her down the sidewalk. "You once told me, a very long time ago, that in every situation, good can be made from intention and faith alone. Can you make good out of this?" She was sure Usagi knew of what she spoke.

"And what is 'this'?" Usagi turned solemn and took the lead, pulling Ami across the street towards a local park.

"You know..." Ami shrugged helplessly, reluctant to give voice to her sorrows.

"Well, sure, I have my version of it," Usagi stopped them in front of a bench and sat down. "But I want to hear yours." She patted the wood beside her and Ami sat. "Our perspectives are so different, you know."

"I..." Ami floundered.

"What's wrong?" Usagi offered.

Simple though it may have been, it was just the opening Ami needed.

"My husband is dead." She blinked back the prickling at the backs of her eyes. "No. My soulmate--the one man I was supposed to love for eternity--he's dead." She closed her eyes to hold back the torrent. "And I have to live a near eternity without him." Her voice broke.

And then there was warm skin sliding over the backs of her hands--which were clenched in her skirt--when had she done that? Usagi gently pried her fingers free, cradling the reserved woman's hands in hers.

"Zoicite loved you," she whispered and Ami jerked. The tears were going to come now; it was only a matter of time. She bit her lip to stall.

"The universe was and maybe still is infected with Chaos," she squeezed her friend's hands. "You got to enjoy something beautiful, something many never do."

But she was so clearly afflicted by that aching emptiness, so keenly aware of the absence of his arms around her. _**How could it have been worth it?**_ "But it hurts," her voice quivered, balancing on the cliff's edge over grief.

"Of course it does," Usagi smiled, and Ami felt, for a rare moment, the desire to smack her. "I know you're mad at me." _How? _**The link. **_**Right.**_ "That's okay. You've earned the right to be angry."

"Let's imagine, for a split second, that you never met Zoicite, that I never met Endymion." Usagi paused, and Ami realized she meant actually pretend. She tried. But it was so hard to pull the perfect piece out of its place in her memories.

"I can't."

"Because you're you," Usagi intoned gently. _**Is she saying **__**I'm incapable**__**?!**_"And I'm me." Ami let out a shudder of breath, eyes still clenched tight. "You see, I can't imagine life without Endymion either. But try to remember before Beryl, before our very first Silver Millenium memories. We were ordinary teenagers with ordinary dreams." _That seems like so long ago._

"I can't even remember that me..." Ami muttered, plainly frustrated.

"Because this _is_ you," Usagi insisted, "The you that loves Zoicite is the _real_ Ami. She's brave, outspoken, gentle, reliable. If you'd never met him, never fallen for him, you'd still be Princess Mercury or Mizuno Ami. Now, because you knew him, you're Athena--Zoicite's Athena," the blonde's voice had sunk to a whisper.

"And how is that supposed to help?" Ami was failing to see Usagi's point. _**What does it matter who I am if he isn't here to see it?**_

"Zoicite is a crucial part of Ami just as Ami was a crucial part of Zoicite," Usagi chided. "Don't you see, Ami? You're not living without him--he's always with you because he's part of who you are. And that's not going to change no matter how many years go by." Ami realized Usagi was closing something around her left wrist, something slightly cool to the touch.

"Usagi, what are you--!" She looked down and with a gasp noted the perfect copper bracelet now fastened to her wrist.

"Did I get the color right?" Usagi looked a little abashed. "I know I should have asked first but..." _**It's exactly the color of his hair. It's beautiful.**_

"No, Usagi, it's perfect. What made you decide to...?"

"For all the theories in your books, you're definitely a physical person, Ami. It's why you're a doctor and not one of those people cooped up in labs pouring blue goop into green fizz." Ami smothered a giggle behind her hand as Usagi made hand gestures exactly like chemistry lab in high school. "You like to be able to see the results of your work, of your relationships. So I thought you'd need something to remind you...of him, I mean."

_**She's so much more insightful than I give her credit for. She really knows us, all of us. I'd never thought of it that way.**_ "You're right, Usa," Ami murmured, running her finger along the bracelet's edge. "I can't thank you enough for this--"

"It's just a bracelet, Ami-chan," Usagi chuckled.

"It's more than that, and you know it."

"Sure, if you say so," the princess smiled brightly and gave Ami an around-the-shoulders hug. "You feeling any better?"

"A little," Ami conceded. She would have loved to have lied and told Usagi that everything was fine now, but it wasn't. It might never be, but Usagi had given her a little bit of strength to push through for now. She would take it and build on it. _**I will become stronger. **_

A tiny chirping interrupted her train of thought. "Ooops," the Moon princess mumbled, digging frantically in her purse to stop the maddening noise her cell phone was making. "Stupid thing," she muttered, "It would have to sound just like my alarm." The offending object was retrieved with a cry of triumph and a series of buttons silenced it.

"What is it?" Ami asked, looking at Usagi's scrunched up nose. The Moon princess squinted, trying to read the small screen in the glare of the sun. "Is something wrong?"

"Oh, no, no, no," Usagi laughed, waving a hand dismissively. "I'm just wishing I had more time to sit and talk. That was my ten minute warning--if I leave soon, I can beat Mamo-chan home and fix us some dinner. But I don't want to leave you by yourself." She was obviously torn, and as Ami was quite pleased by the prospect of a few minutes to herself, she lifted her lips into a gentle smile.

"It's quite all right, Usa-chan. Go on home to your husband." No sooner had she formed the word than a pang raced through her body, and Ami fought to look relaxed. _Will I never be able to say that without thinking of him? __**Of Jikokuten?**_

"Are you sure? I can always order takeout..." Usagi glanced at the time again, probably to double check. _**Her memory does tend to slip when it's not about saving the world. **_**Ever erratic Serenity.**

"Of course I'm sure. It's a beautiful evening...I'll just stay here and watch autumn unfold." That did sound pleasant--perhaps she actually would.

"Alright then..." Usagi was half on her feet before she looked back at Amy. As the gold from the sunlight bounced across the princess' visage, Ami taken aback. The expression her friend was wearing merited the hackneyed phrase "wise beyond her years."

"If you promise to text me when you do get home, I'll leave you be," Usagi finally decided, rising to her feet and slinging her purse over her shoulder.

"Honestly, Usagi, I won't faint away as soon as you leave," Ami forced a laugh, which left her friend unconvinced. She sighed, "I promise I'll text you when I reach the apartment."

"Alright, Athena. I'll give you the peace and quiet you crave. You know if you need me I'm only a call away," the Moon princess blew her a kiss as she gracefully ran toward the park entrance.

Ami waited until she could hear no more than the wind stirring molten gold, tawny orange, and brilliant vermillion about her feet. She pulled the exquisite bracelet up to eye level, wondering once more how Serenity had gotten the exact shade of his hair correct. It put her in such a nostalgic mood, and she could almost see him standing there... Athena closed her eyes and felt the cool kiss of the copper against her lips. "My love, you left me here," she whispered against it, "Jikokuten..." She could feel the moisture gathering in her eyes. And the black faded to sandstone...

Today was one of those rare days where Endymion could actually take Serenity into the Golden Kingdom's palace. It was beginning to baffle Mercury how they managed to arrange so much time together without the knowledge of their parents. Of course, Endymion was still publicly courting Serenity but that only accounted for his monthly visits to the Moon. The amount of time they spent together outside of that was unheard of. Although Mercury supposed that their success was partially due to the senshi and shitennou being particularly lenient. After all, if their personal guards were not stopping them, then who would? No one really.

Mercury leaned back to admire the architecture of this corner of the palace. At first she had been taken aback by how advanced the Terran civilization was. Now she sought to studiously examine that wonder.

"Mercury!" she heard. She knew that voice! She spun around and did her best to run in that direction. She was beginning to understand Jupiter's hatred of "court costumes." How was she supposed to run to her husband in a full-length dress?

When she reached him, he wrapped his arms around her and lifted her a few inches off the ground. She smiled. Even though they were married, she saw him no more often than when they had been courting in secret. The youma had become increasingly troublesome, and she could logically understand that Endymion needed Zoicite to figure the problem out. That didn't mean she had to like it.

They exchanged a brief kiss before he set her back on her feet. She quickly wrapped her arms around his neck so as not to be parted from him. _How Venus would chortle if she could see this! I no longer care if they call me indecent, not if it means I can hold him._

"Darling, you wouldn't happen to know where Endymion and Princess Serenity are, would you?" he looked down into her eyes and smiled playfully. She reveled in the warmth of that glance before opening her lips to answer his question.

"Prince Endymion and Serenity are touring the palace. Something was mentioned about the throne room and the grand ballroom if I recall correctly. They are safe, love," she assured him, running gentle fingers through the copper waves spilling from the nape of his neck.

He smiled at her, and she immediately knew--something was horribly, terribly wrong. Her hands slipped down and her traitor voice betrayed the tremor in her heart: "What's the matter? What happened?" She couldn't allow herself to jump to conclusions, but his expression... Zoicite was never so agonized as he appeared now. He caught her wrists in his hands, preventing her from pulling back any farther. _What has happened?_

"You can't stay here," he began. She opened her mouth to protest. "It isn't safe any longer."

"What do you mean?" Her throat clenched in dread, and almost as if the wind had been knocked out of her, the senshi within jolted to attention. "What happened? Tell me."

"The King is dead. And three of the Kingdoms have made it clear they...disapprove of Prince Endymion's choice in women. And the last is near to assenting."

Mercury gasped aloud. "The King is _dead_? How?" He appeared impassive, save for the thin line of his mouth, but she was well practiced in reading him--the very thought pained him.

"He was killed during his sojourn in the Southern Kingdom. I say killed because there is cause to believe that the superstitions of the Southerners have deprived them of their reasoning and lead them to..." he paused, unable to finish the thought. "They've even gone so far as to call the youma a plague brought on by the Prince's trysts with the Moon princess. I dare not repeat the others in your presence," Zoicite tugged on her wrists. "Do you see why I say you must not stay here?"

_Regicide? Things have degenerated so quickly... _She could hear the logic in his words, but in recent months she had come to place more confidence in the truths of her heart than in the calculations of her mind, and those had convinced her they were stronger together. "I understand, but you've not convinced me." She struggled to remain dispassionate, level-headed.

"By the Moon, Athena!" he cried, "They're taking up arms against us, under the banners of a self-proclaimed prophetess! We have mere weeks until they reach the borders of the heart of the Golden Kingdom!"

"It's become an insurrection?!" she twisted her arms so as to clasp his wrists, seeing now the inevitability of separation. Stinging pain spilled up her arms to nestle itself deep in her chest. _I have to leave him! I have to--_ Abruptly, she choked and the spasm shuddered the length of her body.

He made a sound of distress and yanked her into the tight circle of his arms. "Kami-sama, Athena, I love you! I love you with the very depths of my soul," he murmured into her ear as she clutched him with a strength born of terror. One of his warm hands pressed her head to his chest while the other wrapped clear around her waist. _He can't! He can't. He... Kami-sama, please!_

"I can't leave you," she gasped raggedly. "Please, don't ask this of me."

"You have to return to the Moon and prepare in case we should fall." Her knees nearly gave at the thought. "You have a duty to your Princess just as I have to my Prince. This isn't about us," she felt his hand slip into her hair. "How I wish it was! My mind would be made up in an instant. This is not so easy." The soft stroking brought tears to her eyes. She didn't even bother to fight them back; if they were to separate, she was going to be honest with herself.

"I love you," she whispered, strangled, "Whatever happens, I love you, Jikokuten."

"Athena," he breathed, holding her so tightly she would've sworn they were one person. "Bless the fates that I found you." His hands cupped her face and he drew their mouths together.

Hands clenched in the layers of his tunic, Athena crushed herself to him, flinging wide the floodgates and the torrents of ferocious affection spilled forth. In times before, she had fought to retain her sense underneath this swell of emotion, not to drown in it. Not now.

The almost painful pressure of his hand on her neck and the bruising force of his arm around her waist were welcome. This was goodbye--an anguished farewell. She felt the world begin to spin as her breath ran out, yet she still clung to him. Finally, he broke away and wiped the remnants of her tears from her cheeks as she gasped for breath.

"Athena..."

"Jikokuten..."

"Mercury!" she turned to see a mass of fluttering white skirts as a distressed Serenity hurtled towards her. "What's the matter? I felt--"

"We're leaving," she announced, squaring her shoulders. She was no longer a wife, a lover, but a senshi. "Immediately. Bid Prince Endymion farewell... there is a chance you won't see him again."

The Princess was horrified, looking frantically between the three of them, sapphire eyes wide with shock. Endymion seemed as lost as she was.

"Zoicite?" he asked, bewildered.

"Your father, the King, is dead. And the Kingdoms of the South, West, and East have declared war against the royal family. They ride under Beryl's banners," Zoicite informed him calmly. "They must depart now and prepare for Beryl's assault as well."

Endymion was frozen in place, and Mercury felt a twinge of pity for him. He was suddenly a king, without a coronation, without a crown, without a people. Mercury watched intently for his next move. Was he truly capable of leading his army against the hordes of rebels headed this way?

And then Serenity reached out and touched his hand. He visibly jolted and turning, caught her eyes. Something passed between them, and Mercury knew not what, but what she saw astonished her. Endymion straightened, and giving Serenity a reassuring smile, began to give orders.

"Zoicite, inform Kunzite and the others then draw up an edict calling all my people within two days travel to make their way here to the safety of the citadel. Bring it with you, and I will join you four in the King's war room," Endymion commanded. "Go."

Zoicite bowed and met Mercury's eyes for a moment. "Farewell, love," he smiled, giving her one final image to recall in the nights to come. In her peripheral vision, she caught Serenity's wretched expression as she realized what this meant for them. Mercury nodded, "Farewell, love." And she watched with muted despair as he disappeared through the same doorway from which Serenity had bolted.

"Serenity, say your goodbyes," she instructed, turning her back to the royals. "Mercury power!" she whispered and exchanged her dress for her sailor fuku. Resolutely waiting for Serenity to finish was difficult--it gave her too much time to think. As she listened, she grasped that something had changed hands and following that, a low moan coaxed from her friend that at any other time she would have blushed to hear. Murmured whispers and a flare of magic, and she understood, with a shock of dismay, what they had done. _The fools! They exchanged names! What are you thinking, Serenity? If he dies, it will break first your heart, and the rest of you will follow. How could you let her, Endymion!? How could--_ But when she turned and saw the way Endymion held her friend, and the way that Serenity looked at him, she couldn't fault them. Would she have not done the same?

With that last gesture, Serenity drew herself up, and in her bearing, Mercury recognized something of the Queen. "Come back to me safely," she exhorted him. "I'll be waiting." Endymion nodded, and kissing her hand, made to follow Zoicite.

"Come, Serenity," Mercury beckoned, and taking her friend's hand, activated her computer and made to return to the Moon.

"How do you do it?" Serenity asked in a broken tone, and then Mercury saw the tears.

"I remember my duty, and I take comfort in knowing that he is doing his as I am doing mine," Mercury explained then haltingly added, "It doesn't make it hurt any less... it merely... diverts my focus from the fact that," she choked, "he is gone." _He is gone... he is gone... he is gone..._

And she activated the teleport sequence, saying a final goodbye to the Earth.


	18. Breaking Bottles & Building Bridges

You, dear readers, are all lovely, wonderful people. You have been patiently waiting and some of you have even added me to story and author alert and favorited this story although I haven't updated in ages. I hereby reward your patience and profoundly apologize for the long wait. And thank you all of you who reviewed; each and every line encourages me to write more. So, please review. (And I will try to make the gaps between chapter postings smaller.)

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Minako had been on edge since her party--well, perhaps it was better to say that Aphrodite had been on edge--it was an emotion she intimately shared with her Venusian counterpart.

And if anyone asked her why she was sitting at her vanity, staring at the mirror...erm...that was why the door was locked and her cellphone off. She knew she should call Usagi, but this was too important to put directly into her princess's hands. This was her heart, and if she didn't guard it, especially with the way things seemed to be going, she was going to end up even more damaged than she probably already was.

"Kami-sama, I'm hopeless, aren't I?" she asked her reflection. **No more than the rest of them, **Aphrodite dismissed.

"But I'm sitting here, talking to my reflection. That has to mean there's something wrong with me, right?" She had the sinking feeling Aphrodite wasn't going to tolerate any of this. She was right.

**By the Morning Star, Minako, just say it! Don't tiptoe around it by psychologically analyzing yourself. That's a waste of time--we both know we're emotionally crippled.**

"But..."

**NO! Say it!**

"I wanted Kunzite. Really wanted him," Minako hung her head. _Kami-sama help me, I don't know what it means. He was the enemy; he led the forces that attacked the Silver Millenium..._ "How is this okay?!" she screamed, and just caught herself before her fist slammed into the mirror.

**It was a mistake. We were **_**deceived. Yes. Deceived.**_That was comforting, right? Yes, deception explained everything. _**But it's unacceptable. It was our duty to rise above such weaknesses. **_**I was supposed to protect Serenity, body and soul. I failed and nothing will ever excuse such a failure.**

The leader of the senshi couldn't shake this awful, looming feeling of...argh, what was it? _I keep failing. When Beryl returned, my attempt to protect Serenity put her more at risk. Endymion had to risk his life to do what I should have done. Damn it! It's never good enough. __**I'm inadequate.**_

She slammed her feet to the ground, and tearing off her cute outfit, dug through her dresser for sweats and a light t-shirt. Yanking them on, she pulled her hair back into a messy ponytail with a red hair tie, shoved her running shoes on her feet, and bolted out of the apartment. The sound of her pounding feet on the stairwell was cathartic. She had to move. She had to clear her head.

As the side door clanged open, she spun on her foot toward her favorite running trail--the cinder one in the park. She flew past people moving along in their ordinary lives, headed home to dinner with their families; sometimes she wished she were one of them. And yet she didn't. _**Because I am a warrior.**__ I may be a lover, __**but I am also a warrior. **_**I need room to be both.**

The raging thoughts in her head began to quiet as soon as cinders crunched under her feet. Cool air rushed past her, whistling in her ears, and she glared at the grey clouds hanging overhead. They were not allowed to rain, not until she was done burning off her depression. She sped into the first bend, secure in her footing--confident.

"I am a senshi. I am a leader," she murmured under her breath. "I have no time for distractions. I have my responsibilities." Venus lapped some poor person who made a choked sound as she flew by. When she finally slowed to a halt for some water, she bent over the stone drinking fountain, gasping. Slowly, rejoicing in the ache spreading through her muscles, she turned to take in the man-made lake-pond. The water was dull and gray with just a touch of blue beneath those rain clouds. She sank to the grass to stretch; it'd been too long since she'd done this and muscles were complaining. So as she spread her legs and grabbed her left foot, she focused on the lap of the water and the wind chasing the colored leaves around her. The ground was cold, and she began to doubt the wisdom of coming out into the potential rainstorm.

But she had needed it.

The crack of lightening, soon followed by thunder shook her. "Okay, definitely not my best idea," she muttered, pushing herself to her feet. She had just righted herself when the curtain of water fell. She sighed and began dragging herself to the nearest picnic pavilion--quite a ways away.

When she finally fell onto a wooden bench, she realized she was exhausted. And wet. It was really good thing no one was here to see her; the senshi and her princess would chew her out for not taking better care of herself. But they didn't understand. _**This is how I take care of myself.**_ _I bottle it up until I can't take it_ **and then I beat it from my body. **_**It works. It has always worked.**_ She felt the prickling heat gathering behind her eyes, and it was getting harder to breathe. She swallowed to try to loosen it, and instead her eyes welled up and spilled over. "I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying," Venus sat there sobbing. Her hands clenched in her sweatpants as she drew shaky breaths, she stared out into the sheets of grey...

... ... ... ... ...

Venus thundered into her suite in the Lunar Palace. The couple of servants who'd carried her luggage jumped as the door to her private chambers slammed shut. Venus heard her things being gently settled in her receiving parlor. She looked around the room for something to throw, something to break. She found a shelf of favored trinkets, gifts from past lovers. They shattered against the floor moments later as she screamed her frustration.

Minutes later, there was pounding on her door. "Venus," the voice of her princess pleaded, "Open the door. Tell me what's wrong."

She took a deep breath to swallow the screaming her princess did not deserve. "Leave me be, Serenity," she called wearily toward the door.

"What happened, Venus? What did they say? Please. You know you can trust me..." Serenity continued anxiously. Venus felt a pang of guilt as she slammed shut the mental link which would allow Serenity to comfort her. "Oh!" a little cry came from the other side of the door. "Well...I'm here if you need me..." the Moon princess murmured.

"Go back to your prince, Serenity," Venus urged her, trying to assuage her own guilt. She had shut out one of the few people who genuinely wanted to share her pain. She was terrible person.

But what was done was done.

She literally ripped the dress off, carelessly throwing it into a corner. She dug through the recesses of her closet to unearth some things she hadn't had to use in a long time. **Probably because I haven't had to go home in a long time.**

Faded breeches and a man's white tunic shirt along with a pair of battered deerskin boots. Venus slipped into them and sweeping aside the curtains, glanced into the gardens below. She was such a child...no--no, this wasn't childish. **I need this,** she told herself, opening the window and jumping up to crouch on the sill. It was approaching twilight, she noted as she leapt to the ground and sprinted through the gardens faster than anyone would be able to see her. In a minute she was deep in the wild forest one of the older Lunar Kings had kept for hunting. It suited her purposes perfectly.

She took deep breaths as her eyes adjusted to the near dark. There were maybe two hours until it was pitch dark. **Not really enough time, but I'll have to make do. **She thrust out open hands and waited. All the air in the clearing was abruptly sucked into the void she'd opened. The gale whipped her hair into her face as it collapsed inward, and when she could look up once more, the sword gifted to her by the Queen lay an ice-cold weight in her hands. As she clenched the hilt, gravity shifted, and the world made sense once more; she belonged here.

And as it had been beaten into her, she fell into proper stance and began the complicated sword dance all Venusian royalty learned. Though lovers, her people were also fierce, aggressive, and violent; they underwent arduous training to master their emotions and channel them into more...productive affairs. She closed her eyes, careful to match her footing to her sweeps and cuts. The blade sang through the air, and the whistling melody of swordplay soothed her nerves.

**How dare they?! **she thought. **How dare they call me...** She felt the catch in her throat, but it loosed with the next vicious swing. **...inferior. Damn them!** Her brothers and their new wives... She'd gone home to see them married, but all they'd had for her was criticism. Her mother long passed... **Augh!**

As her first rendition came to a close, Venus sighed with relief. And then Aphrodite gave herself over to the dance, beginning it anew. Her first time through had been messy, overburdened by emotion. She was more...stable now. Now she would do it properly.

Inhaling deeply, eyes still closed, Aphrodite stepped into the movement, her body whipping through the air like her sword. She felt rising satisfaction as she neared the end. Now, now she could try it...that which she would never show her brothers...her stylized version of the family legacy.

It was really like dancing, except her partner wasn't some lord who didn't know his right from his left or where his hands should go. She and the sword, they worked together seamlessly, and though she was dripping with sweat, hair clinging to every inch of bare skin it could find, she was smiling. This was who she was.

So even when her keen senses alerted her to her silent observer, she could not be bothered to cease moving. She would complete the dance; that was how it was done. For one moment in her life, she didn't care that it was him who was watching, nor that he was probably evaluating her and finding her every flaw. This was hers. Nothing could sully it.

The dance slowed to a finish and bringing the blade down, she thrust it harshly into the ground and glared at him.

"Lord Kunzite, I hope you are well aware how rude it is to intrude on my practice without announcing yourself," she accused. She, jewel of the Venusian royal family, knew how she must look, like a ragged urchin playing soldier, and heat rose to her cheeks. But dignity and years of exposure to unsparing criticism kept her standing tall before the silent man when she wanted to run and hide. Aphrodite crushed the impulse. **I am not a child.**

His grey eyes gave nothing away, and he didn't look about to speak. She closed her eyes, trying to find her center once more. He put her all out of sorts; she had no idea how to communicate with this statue of a man. "I would appreciate it greatly if you would either tell me your purpose or permit me to resume my practice once more," she requested. It took more tact to intimate that he leave than she expected.

Still he continued to say nothing, examining her intently. Aphrodite held her composure while inside...she needed to run, to get away from this unnerving situation before his intense scrutiny completely demolished her restored peace of mind.

"I was going to request another match between the Guards," he was still giving her that appraising look. "But I see..." She quailed. This man who, despite his indifference to everything save Endymion, she had come to respect in such a short period of time--would he say what they had? Although she knew herself to be both competent and capable but certainly not gifted, she thought she'd finished well... "You are preoccupied. I meant no offense when I paused to watch, but what I saw of your swordplay was excellent. I could not resist the temptation to see the entirety of it."

She was stunned. He had complimented her? He had _complimented_ her? **Oh.** Joy flooded her veins like molten sunshine. "Thank you," she murmured softly, inclining her head to receive the compliment. He was a master swordsman; she knew so from when they had faced off a month prior. For him to...and without criticism...it was beyond imagining. "You flatter me. I know I have much to learn," she replied self-depreciatingly, as she was taught. When she looked up to gauge his reaction, she was puzzled. In fact, he looked somewhat bewildered; it was only a moment before he schooled his features back into that impassive mask to which she was slowly growing accustomed.

"I'll take my leave now, Lady Venus. Perhaps sometime we might attempt a sort of galliard with swords," he graced her with what she could almost call a friendly smile.

Before he could turn away, she modestly replied, "I would like that very much."

"Until then," he nodded and walked away.

**A galliard with swords? Together? **Aphrodite turned the idea over in her head. **Did he...? **She tried to grasp the implications of his words. **Surely not. He could not have been...**

... ... ... ... ...

A crash of thunder jolted Minako from where she sat half-sprawled across the picnic table. "Ugh," she groaned, and tilting her head side to side, began to work the aching muscles in her neck with probing fingers. She couldn't believe she'd fallen asleep; what kind of idiot was she?

**Apparently the sopping wet kind**_**,**_Aphrodite mocked.

Her voice brought the dream screeching back. _Kunzite. _ She had been performing a complicated sword dance, reveling in her solitude. _**And he saw me. And he told me I looked**_**...excellent.** Minako could almost taste Aphrodite's awe. From the snippets she had been getting up until recently, she understood that Kunzite was a far better swordsman than she had been as the Venusian princess. **And he had words of praise. **_**For me.**__ Why? _**I don't know. I don't think we've seen near enough yet, **Aphrodite remarked.

"True," Minako muttered, shoving herself to her feet. It looked like the rain had let up while she'd been asleep. She was bone-dead tired; kami-sama, she didn't know if she could run back to her apartment like this. She fumbled in her pocket, hoping to discover her cell.

And then she remembered where it was--sitting nicely on her vanity back home. Damn. A breeze scuttled through the pavilion; she shivered. Double damn. Where was Rei when she needed her? Pigs'd fly before she let Serenity see her this weak.

Steeling herself, she grit her teeth and jogged out into the light shower. Within minutes her socks were soaked and her shoes were making this disgusting squishing noise. But the park entrance was in sight. To her disbelief, there idled a dark sportscar with only its parking lights on. How would Rei have known? She trudged to the passenger door and yanked it open.

"Hey."

"Get in, you drowned rat," Rei jerked her head. "You look like you could use some mindless girl time." She hoped Rei could see how grateful she was. Minako didn't think she could get the words out of her mouth. "Do you have to freak out like this every time something shocks you, Minako?" Rei glowered. "You have Usagi all ruffled, like a mother hen. She's never going to leave you alone now."

"What?" Minako stared blankly at her. "Usagi-chan...?" She pulled the door shut and winced as her wet clothes started seeping onto Rei's seats. Rei tapped her temple. _Oh. Mind link. Shoot. __**I didn't mean to make her worry.**_

"I just needed to burn off some anxiety," Minako said in an apologetic tone. "You did tell her not to worry, right?"

"I told her I'd go drag your sorry ass home, Mina," Rei teased. "Of course I reassured Usagi first. You know how she can get."

"Thanks." Minako sat, hands in her lap, looking down.

"Well, I'd say a hot shower and a change of clothes are in order and then perhaps some mint chocolate chip ice cream and we'll take it from there," Rei shrugged, jerking the car into drive and screeching into the street. Minako didn't reply, looking out at the murky street; she knew Rei hadn't expected her to. "There's a towel in the back if you want to wring your hair out a bit," her friend told her, spinning the wheel hard to the right. Minako's heart was in her throat as Rei narrowly missed another car; the adrenaline shrieking through her veins was enough to purge the angst from her.

"Thank you, Rei," Mina whispered sincerely. Mars turned to look at her, and for a second, Venus saw Mars' face disfigured by stress. "Rei, are you...?"

"Let's just say you're not the only one who needs this, Mina."

"Oh," Minako breathed. _**We're falling apart. All of us.**_

... ... ... ... ...

Minako blearily looked at the clock. 2:30 AM. Urg. She oh-so-carefully moved Rei so the fire senshi was laying on a pillow instead of her lap. She tiptoed around her living room, picking up empty popcorn bags, a demolished box of Cheezits, and a carton of mint chocolate chip ice cream that had been scraped clean. She found two spoons, one stuck to her coffee table; when she yanked, it came off the table with a "schthuck." She carefully put things away, like the bottle of red wine they'd opened and the tub of sugar cookie dough.

She turned around and saw the disast--erm, counter.

Minako sighed. There were sprinkles all over, so she tried to brush them into her hand. It didn't work so well--she'd be vacuuming tomorrow. Well at least there wasn't a puddle of ice cream on her carpet; that had been a pain to get out last time. But there was a line of dishes, bowls, dirty spoons, and two wine glasses on the counter, along with some decorative crumbs. Oh well--this battle would have go to the clutter fairies, but tomorrow she'd drown them in 409 and then who'd be laughing?

"Oh kami-sama, I'm losing it," Minako mumbled. **This time I have to agree with you,** Aphrodite yawned. "Oh shut it," Minako protested weakly. She dragged herself down the tiny hall to the closet and found a blanket to cover Rei. She had the fire senshi all tucked in when she found her plush gray blanket and curled up in the loveseat. _Sleep._

... ... ... ... ...

Venus liked to think that she and Lord Kunzite had reached a sort of understanding. He spoke civilly to her when he saw her, and she had taken to keeping him company at the Lunarian parties. She recalled the day that began with humor:

Kunzite had been standing in his usual place, leaning against a stone pillar toward the back corner of the room. After some attentive study, Venus had discovered his disinterest in the parties had nothing to do with the women and everything to do with keeping an eye on Prince Endymion. She admitted she was a bit more tolerant with Serenity, but she chose to focus on the mental link rather than Serenity's physical location; after all, this was the Moon, and Serenity was the beloved daughter of the Queen--she'd not met a single soul who did not love Princess Serenity. She'd wandered over his way in a huff when her latest partner had some difficulties putting his hands where they belonged; just because she was Venusian did not make her a whore.

She hadn't meant to choose his corner and had come up to the window behind him before she noticed. For a moment she considered moving to avoid any potential conversations--they were not yet able to exchange words without it being somewhat gauche, but decided against it; it wasn't worth the trouble of walking across the room and risking the beast's renewed accosting. She subtly shifted herself so her hip rested against the wall, allowing it to bear most of her weight and give her aching feet a rest, and began to seek the outline of the forest in the distance.

"Lady Venus," his deep timbre sounded from behind her.

"Lord Kunzite," she replied without taking her gaze from the shadows outside.

"Why are you not dancing?" he asked, a little bluntly for her taste. But she would take it.

She finally turned and gave him a wry smile, which she knew he caught out of the corner of his eye--his gaze had not shifted from Endymion. "My dancing partner misunderstood my acceptance of his invitation. He was under the misapprehension that he could fill my card for the _entire_ night," she offered calmly, silently applauding herself for that display of control.

She thought that just maybe a muscle in his jaw had twitched.

"That was rather untoward of him," he responded dispassionately.

"Indeed." Venus took the opportunity to end this brief conversation before it fell into uncomfortable silence. It was then that she heard the tittering women and craned her head about to look for them. Sure enough, the twits, in flamboyant waves of fabric no less, were headed in their direction; she, hiding a smile, turned around, knowing his large figure and the niche created by the pillar effectively hid her from their view.

She saw his loose fist tighten abruptly as the women's approach drew his attention. As she recalled the time he rejected her invitation to dance, Aphrodite found herself bubbling over with mischievous glee. Oh, she hoped he would appreciate what she was about to do for him.

The women must have been gathering their courage as there was an extended pause before a clear, feminine voice said, "Lord Kunzite, we were wondering--"

Aphrodite straightened and, taking a step toward the dancing floor, came alongside Kunzite, looking for all the world as though they'd been having a tête-à-tête. She, garbed in elegant amber satin that clung to her sylphlike form accented with ivory voile, hair pinned up in amber-jeweled hairpins, knew how gorgeous she looked; it wasn't conceited if it was the truth. The women froze, dazed, as he courteously informed the ladies his attention was otherwise occupied. Venus kept a solemn expression on her face until they stumbled over their apologies and rushed away as quickly as decorum would allow.

Kunzite, not moving an inch from where he had been, told her, "That was unnecessary."

"Of course," Venus acknowledged, turning back to the window. "But as we are now something of allies, I thought perhaps I would do you a good turn. Although they have grossly misunderstood the situation, it was not because of anything explicitly said or done. Now, however, you ought to be free from such nuisances for the rest of the evening, and as dancing no longer appeals to me, I shall remain here to see that it happens as such."

And once more, she happened to glance back at him, and this time she was certain she had seen the corner of his mouth twitch in amusement.

Yes, that day had been quite amusing. Unfortunately, she scowled at her reflection in the mirror, today's meeting with Kunzite was far from amusing. Serenity had, in what was now becoming a daily affair, escaped to visit Prince Endymion on Earth, and Venus had chased after her. When she had finally found the Princess with the Prince and was opening her mouth to scold Serenity, she saw Kunzite, who smiled and proclaimed, "It must be difficult having a bundle of curiosity for a princess."

"Kunzite!" Endymion had protested as Serenity blushed and Venus' cheeks warmed with embarrassment. She was supposed to keep track of Serenity, and look what she had allowed! And this was not the first time. And for Lord Kunzite to make fun of her...Needless to say she had grabbed Serenity and informed her they were leaving.

Now, as she sat in front of her mirror, brushing her hair, she realized that she had seen him smile. She was then furious with herself for not taking the time to appreciate and memorize it. Closing her eyes, Aphrodite worked her way through the memory. A cursory glance--that's all she had to work with. She took it, attempting to sharpen and focus the image.

And Aphrodite had thought he'd been handsome before...by the Morning Star he was gorgeous. Chiseled features, sharp charcoal eyes, thin lips and that hair...Oh how she wanted to run her fingers through that silver-gray hair and pull him down to kiss him until his thoughts were focused solely on her. She wanted him to be otherwise occupied with _her._ Each moment she spent with him was an exercise in restraint; she knew the disappointments that awaited her if she let slip. He did not tolerate frivolity and ardor; they were distractions.

**But I cannot help it**_**, **_she lamented. **I want him. More than want him. I think I may actually...no--no, I am certain. I am in love with Kunzite.**

She tried it aloud: "I am in love with Kunzite." The words brought a rush of relief. It was...liberating. "I love him," she murmured to herself. She was allowed this secret; he did not have to know; she could conceal it, would willingly do so to remain in his company. That would be enough.

... ... ... ... ...

Minako woke, eyes nearly glued shut, with a crick in her back and cold feet. She groaned. A hand produced a tall, steaming mug.

"Mina-chan, I have coffee. If you sit up and open your eyes, you can have it," Rei coaxed, and Minako could hear her back up.

"Is it coffee?" came her baby voice from within the folds of the blanket.

"A latte, dear, made by yours truly. Some Irish cream flavoring in there too. Now isn't that reason enough to get up?" her friend cajoled.

Minako was bolt upright at the words "Irish cream" and attempting to unglue her eyes. They cracked open, and she scrubbed at the gross sleep, pulling it from her eyelashes. _Eww._

"Wow, that's really attractive, Minako," Rei snorted.

"Thanks," the blond replied. "Love you too." She groped for the mug. "Give it here. I'm up." Rei thrust the cup into her hands and wrapped them around it.

"You're such a child," Rei scolded.

"Am not," Minako huffed, then promptly shut up. _I was just__** proving her point**__. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. _**Good.**

She swallowed a gulp of creamy, caffeinated deliciousness. _What was that? Last night?_ **I don't know. I'm...confused. **_You were in love with Kunzite? _**We were in love with Kunzite, **Aphrodite corrected. _**We need to talk to Serenity. We need to know why she hasn't told us about this.**_ _And then what will we do? _**I'm not sure. **_**We'll figure it out. We always do.**_

"Minako, I hate to rain on your crazy parade," Rei was munching on a scone, "but you're starting to look a little psychotic what with all the serious frowning and silent muttering."

Minako turned and gave her a small half-smile, and Rei's expression softened. "Questions for Usagi-chan?" Minako nodded warily. Rei chuckled. "No, you didn't sleep talk or anything. I just recognize that expression. Go talk to Usa. I did, and it's not...well...it doesn't fix things but it makes them...okay. Gah, that makes no sense," Rei fluttered her hands about impatiently. "You know what I mean."

"I know what you mean," Minako grinned. "Pass me my cell?"


	19. A Heart Dismantled

I keep saying I won't let so much time pass between updates. Let's be honest--I have no time between class and the rest of life to write. But I promise I will NOT abandon this story. I have been wanting to update this for a while now, but I just didn't have the time to sit down and write a new chapter. All that to say: sorry. You are all fantastic people for sticking with me despite the infrequent updates.

So, yes--sorry. And enjoy. I'm very curious to hear what all of you think of this chapter, so please review.

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Usagi watched the steam rise in curls above Minako's earth-toned coffee cup. They had been sitting here in her dining room for about ten minutes. There was an angry set to Venus' shoulders, but Usagi knew better. Aphrodite was scared. So scared she couldn't even form words to express it, but far be it from her to ever, ever show it. The flat, emotionless look on Minako's face betrayed nothing, but the clumsily and poorly erected mental block told the Moon princess all she needed to know. Minako wasn't up to Aphrodite's level yet--if she wanted to, Usagi could tear through the barrier. But Minako had come to her. To her. For the first time since the Silver Millenium, Selene and Aphrodite, Serenity and Venus, Usagi and Minako--they, all of them, would speak. It was a fragile miracle Usagi held in her hands; she would never betray the trust Minako had just given her. But she feared the silence would shatter her would-be miracle just as easily.

Stalemate.

This was a stalemate, Usagi recalled from the chess games her husband and Ami-chan played. Only there wasn't the option of sweeping the pieces off the board and starting again. She had to find a way in. Or a way to coax her friend out into the open.

_What do we do, Serenity?_ **Aphrodite has to speak first. You know that. **_**If we speak first, she will bottle everything back up.**_**Do you feel it? **_**I only have one chance to get this right. Oh, Aphrodite. Speak to me.**_

She watched as slender hands clenched and unclenched around the chunky caramel-colored mug, the only visible sign of Minako's inner chaos. With confusion, Usagi watched as Minako's lips twitched, as if she was making to speak, but then nothing happened. What--?

_**OH. She's speaking with Aphrodite.**_ Usagi had never felt this frustrated before. Minako had been the last of the senshi to walk into her life. The senshi of love, who had always been alone, finally came to where she belonged, only to discover that they were already a team without her. It wasn't fair! Minako should have been welcomed with open arms; they were supposed to be her haven. They weren't.

"Usagi." The Moon princess' head snapped up, and baby blues locked. "I need you to...Explain." Usagi bit back a sad smile; Minako was still hiding behind Venus, leader of the senshi.

"When Endymion came to the Moon for the first time," she began, praying to kami-sama that she could say this the right way, the way Aphrodite needed to hear it. "His shitennou came with him. They were the Terran version of the senshi. You know the four by name: Zoicite, Nephrite, Jadeite, and Kunzite. But regardless of how your memories paint them, Minako, they are not the men you met. They were the loyal, powerful guardians of Endymion, brilliant princes, and they were good men. It'd be easier if I could tell you that they were evil, wouldn't it?" Usagi paused with a gentle, worried smile, but she didn't expect an answer. "The memories don't fit--I know. You like things to be neat, Venus; you don't like...this. But he was good, Aphrodite. Kunzite was good."

She watched as shock fluttered across her friend's face when she singled him out. Only Aphrodite could be so wrapped up in her worries to forget just how much Usagi knew.

In expectation, the Moon princess straightened her spine and gripped her mug as though it could anchor her to this table, this chair, this spot.

Shock fled from fury.

One of Minako's hands left the cup to clench into a fist. It lay there on the table, innocently menacing.

_**She has to understand. I can't let her make assumptions. If Aphrodite doesn't believe me, we could still survive their return, but I don't want to have put the pieces of the girls' pieces back together. We'll all end up with more scars than we should ever have.**_

"I don't remember everything, Serenity, but I remember that he led the forces that destroyed the Moon Kingdom. I remember him nearly killing Endymion. If I were in his place and you in Endymion's, I could not bear to live. It's not possible that he was both good and evil," Venus' words struck her, cold and harsh, like granite.

"Can't you see?" A little bit of desperate emotion seeped through the princess' careful shield. "It's not that black and white. If it was, how could I love Endymion? He tried to kill me, Aphrodite. But he was still mine, still good, still worth saving. Would you deny me the right to keep him?" Usagi leaned toward Minako. She wanted so badly to grab Minako's hands, as if skin-to-skin contact would convince the resolute woman sitting across the table--_...more like standing on the other side of this chasm_, Usagi admitted--of her sincerity.

"I..." Minako took a deep breath. "Of course not, Usagi. He was injured, and Beryl took advantage of that. I can't accuse him of her schemes; he can't be held responsible for that."

"But it's--" Usagi thought better of going ahead and saying, 'It's the same thing.' Knowing Minako, her next argument would be...**That he was weak. If he were strong enough, **Serenity intoned, **He would never have fallen prey to Beryl. He ought to have killed himself before that. **_**She is so harsh on him, on herself. Aphrodite, you aren't flawless, even if you want to be.**_

"But he tried to kill me, Mina-chan," she insisted, arguing something she didn't believe. "Can you forgive him for that? Shouldn't the prince of Earth have been strong enough to fight off Beryl?"

"But this is Endymion we're talking about," Minako looked exasperated. "Nobody's perfect." Usagi stifled a cry of triumph. Now she could say it.

"Things didn't go as Mother intended. In this life, Beryl found them before they woke and enslaved them. She chained them to her, mind and body." The words couldn't come fast enough. Usagi was rushing the explanation, scared Minako would interrupt before she could finish. "Their souls were forced asleep and Beryl's will became theirs. They didn't have a choice, Aphrodite."

There was a long, angry string of words jammed in Minako's throat. Usagi could just tell. _Oh please, oh please, oh please. __**Believe me!**_

Minako, eyes a sharp steel blue, settled for four equally cutting words: "They should have fought."

"So you can forgive Mamo-chan although he knew who he was and what Beryl wanted from him, but you won't forgive the shitennou who woke as normal boys without a single memory of the Silver Millenium, of their power, of their duty? Who were confronted with a power they had no ability to fight?--They were defenseless!" Usagi snapped. "And you'll blame them for Beryl's deception? You think it's their fault they didn't remember anything? You're accusing innocents of treachery--when they didn't even know there was anything to betray!"

"Innocent?" Minako snarled.

"We were reborn to live and find happiness. Without our memories or our powers unless we need them. Until Metallia and Beryl attacked Tokyo, we were normal, Minako. Normal, everyday teenagers, who, given enough time, would have grown into normal women with normal jobs and normal husbands and normal lives! We were innocent and so were they." She watched closely as Minako tried to fit that new piece into her mangled puzzle. She'd shoved all the wrong pieces in all the wrong places, and all Usagi wanted to do was tear it apart and put it back together. But she didn't have the right. No matter how much she cared, it didn't make it right. _I can't try to fix Minako's broken heart._

"It still doesn't feel right," Minako argued, stubborn as ever. "It's like you're giving them a 'get out of hell free' card."

"What if the situation were the other way around, Aphrodite?" Usagi softened her voice. "What if they had awoken to their powers and themselves and rallied around Endymion? What if Beryl had found the senshi before they woke? If you had tried to kill me? You would ask me to condemn you?"

"Ye--" the blond's voice stuck in her throat. Indecision paled her friend's expression. "I don't know. I...I don't think I could stand it if you hated me." _**Good answer.**_

"But you're asking Endymion...Endymion, me, and the other senshi to hate them. Worse, you're asking yourself to hate them, him. And I know what you felt for him. It's not fair to any of us, but especially not to you."

Minako was lost. The young woman picked up her mug, and eyes clenched shut, took a sip before slowly setting it back on the smooth surface of the table.

"I can't."

Usagi felt the butterfly flutter in her hands. Her precious miracle. Would it survive? She looked at Minako again. Minako had shown up at her door in worn blue jeans, a bright orange tank top and a white zip-up hoodie--brimming with life. Now she sat there, her shoulders were hunched inside the same jacket while she stared down into her mug of tea, hands clenched so tightly around it that it looked like it would shatter.

**Venusians were never the kind to feel anything halfway. **_**Everything has to be violently strong. She doesn't know any other way to love.**_

"Can't what?" Usagi breathed.

"I can't hate him. Why can't I hate him, Usa?" The Moon princess' heart jumped at the nickname Minako had never once used but quieted at the desperate tone that carried it across the table. _It's not fair! Why does she have to ask the one question I can't answer!_ Usagi wanted to cry; Minako needed this answer from her, but she couldn't give it.

"I can't answer that question for you."

"Why can't it be simple? He tried to kill you--I should hate him. But I can't," all the emotion bled out of Minako's voice. She looked like she wanted to curl into herself. "You gave me a valid reason for why it isn't their fault. I still don't like it, but... I don't know why. And the Silver Millenium. It's the fuzziest memory in my head, but I know it's him leading the youma. Why?" There was child-like faith in Minako's voice. _**She wants permission to love him. It feels wrong to her, but she wants it.**_

"I can't tell you," Usagi replied calmly, but she still flinched when confronted with Venus' glare. "I...you're supposed to remember. I'm not supposed to tell you."

"You mean you won't," Minako accused, cup abandoned as her hands curled around the table's edge.

"No, that's not--"

"Usagi, don't you dare sugarcoat this for me." Usagi fell back into her chair like she'd been slapped. How could she think...?

"I would never do that to you," the Moon princess heard her voice break. "Aphrodite, I would give you all the answers if I thought it would help, but you wouldn't believe me. I can't put everything back together for you--only you have the power to do that." _**And only he can help you.**_ "But I don't want you to hate me, Mina. Please." Usagi wasn't even sure what she was begging for. When nothing changed in Minako's expression, she lowered her eyes to the table, twisting her fingers painfully tight in her lap.

"I don't hate you, Serenity." Usagi couldn't bear to look up; Minako's voice was colder than her expression had been. "I thought I could get some answers, but all you gave me were harder questions. I guess this is something I have to do alone after all." And with that, there was a harsh clatter as Minako pushed back her chair.

Usagi didn't know what she could have done differently. She numbly heard her door slam. Minako felt abandoned, like Usagi didn't care at all. _**But it's not true! I just... **_**Nothing you could have said would have satisfied her, **Serenity consoled, though she was equally shaken. It just made Usagi feel worse. Sore fingers broke apart as the Moon princess laid her arms on the table and buried her head in them. And she finally, finally let herself sob.

… … … … …

Usagi didn't know how long she had been sitting there, maybe five minutes, maybe an hour, when she heard the door crash open into the wall then right back into its frame. Somewhere behind her, she heard a coat, some keys, and maybe shoes hit the floor. Quick worried footsteps, and then she was enveloped in warm arms.

"Selene."

Her shoulders jerked as a choking sob broke from her throat. And then he was lifting her up like she weighed nothing. Her arms automatically wrapped around him and her hands found purchase in his shirt. She buried her face in the warm crook of his neck.

"Taishakuten," she whimpered--and suddenly he was sitting on their massive bed, and she was nestled in between his legs as his towering form curled around her protectively. She felt her hair ties snap as one of his hands began to wind itself into her hair.

She felt the muscles in his neck tighten in anger as he sifted through her memories of this afternoon. "How dare she..." Her beloved's voice came out murderously quiet.

"She was upset," Usagi's lips formed the words without thinking, reflexively seeking to protect her friend.

"That's no excuse." His soft snarl echoed in the quiet of their bedroom. "I panicked, love. All of a sudden, the link was flooded with aching, stabbing sorrow. I was terrified, desperate to get home to you. I came as soon as I could," he whispered, and she felt a warm, possessive hand curl around her jaw and behind her ear as he pressed her further into him.

"I'm sorry," she whispered back. It was the wrong thing to say.

"Don't!" he warned. "Don't you ever apologize for feeling anything, Selene. I still want to beat Venus within an inch of her life--don't push me." She heard him struggle for control over his rage. She lifted a hand to lay it against the far side of his face and lifted her head just enough to press her cheek to his jaw.

"I need you here," she pleaded. It was enough; she felt his protective instincts subdue his vicious impulses. "Please don't leave me."

"I would never," he responded, pulling her just enough away from him that he could see her face. "I love you," he murmured softly against her lips before she was pressed up against the whole of him as he attempted to devour her. She clung to him, drowning in the love which swelled and filled their link in a consuming torrent. Venus was angry, hurt, but--her breath hitched when he pulled her to lay on top of him.

He was so warm. _**It will be alright, Selene. We will not rest until it is.**_ His words sparked something in her that Venus had nearly extinguished.

Hope.

She did not deserve him, but he was everything she needed. He was her well of strength, her refuge, her protector, but best of all, he was hers. _**I love you.**_ She clasped his face in both her hands and deepened their kiss. _**Taishakuten, love, I...**_

_**I know. **_She heard the deep laughter in his words as his hands ran through her hair, sending shivers down her spine. _**I know, Selene.**_


End file.
